Still haven't found a girlfriend

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But thats the thing Goldfish I aways assume that These Girls are single. I am 24 years old most women between 20-30 are getting ready for their next stage in life. The Average Age to have kids is about 30 so i just assume that most girls are taken.

I Saw an attractive women on the bus the other day sitting alone and i just amused she was either married or going out with someone. I just get nervous thats all

also
i agree with the guy above me who says dont worry about age too much, especially at your age.
Of course i do not mean date anyone under the age of 18 who is under the age of consent.
But 20 and 24, no problem. This doesn't make you a pedofile so no problem.

Look at Mick Jagger...lol
not to mention the rest of the rock stars out there that practically all have younger wives or girl friends.

In fact, i would be more than happy to go out with a 20 year old myself, as long as we had things in common and enjoyed each others company. Great fun.

I had this idea from the age of 15, that i shouldn't go out with anyone below my age. Which is stupid.
I mean, as long as your not breaking the law and both partners consent why not.
And actually at my age, 43, the more attractive women are younger that me (not that woman older than me or my age can't also be attractive).

I guess the truth is, i find most woman attractive physically (and they get more attractive with the more alcohol you drink).

Although, i am not religious i do not believe in cheating or being dishonest.
Goodness, considering how liberal i am and how cool i am, not to mention how good my testosterone level is (due to treatment) you would think i would have woman knocking my door down...

maybe you should consider going out with an older mature woman
some of those chicks would be happy to have a toy boy and may be more on your wavelength...

You just contradicted yourself in your very next sentence. Obviously you don't always assume these girls are single if you automatically assume they're taken and assume some random woman on the bus is married or dating someone.

Yep. His age concerns seems silly.

Personally, I've only ever been attracted to people younger than me. For a while now I've thought around minimum 23ish would be a dateable age for me. Meanwhile, in my current present day reality, the one I've been sort of dating since Halloween doesn't turn 20 for another couple weeks.

Also, at suggesting he seek out a small vagina. That's about the most direct Aspiest dating advice I've ever read on here. Too funny.

I meant to say i assume most girls are taken. I see Women in public out walking with their friends and other men and just assume oh they won't want me because they are either Married or Dating.

And maybe they are, so what?

Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. :p Maybe they're in the wrong relationship for them and just need to meet someone that's more right for them to make a change? Maybe you're not the type to ever be that "other guy," so what? Girls have friends/family members who are single. Maybe you'll meet a nice girl and her husband and she thinks you'd be great to date her friend or sister or cousin or w/e.

You've got to do something about your depressive state of mind causing you to see obstacles everywhere instead of opportunities, too, before you're "ready" to really put yourself out there and date anyone. That's not to say depressed people don't date or have relationships, just that it's a whole lot harder.

Maybe you are right Goldfish. I mean i go out in public but i get nervous and if a woman who i find attractive sits by me or is in the line with me and my mate at the cinema i just get all nervous and quiet and seem to tense up.

Maybe you are right and if i lose a bit of weight i will find myself more able to talk to women. I just don't want to change my whole personality and have my family and mates think i'm a changed person i want to be loved for being me.

I really don't get the whole "I want everything to be different except me," attitude that so many people have. It's YOU that you have the most control over changing, and then once you've changed, your entire reality changes.

I say this from personal experience. 5-6 years ago I was in terrible mental and physical shape, unable to work, financially bankrupt, horrendously depressed/anxious/ASD to the 9th degree etc. I've worked very hard to change myself. Now I'm pretty balanced, in great physical shape, significantly in the black with savings and investments, generally pretty happy etc.

I prefer that I've changed, that I feel like I'm living a second life. It doesn't bother me one bit that people who haven't seen me in a while notice I've changed.. because I've changed for the better, and, I've changed for ME and what I want out of life - not just to get a date or a potential future partner.

Change is good. Embrace it. Or, do as you've always done and get as you've always got and in 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 5 years on we'll be reading your same style posts with the same life complaints just as we read from other members of these forums who have allowed indecision and inaction to be their decisions in life.. resulting in the same old them in the same old misery.

Harsh? Perhaps. But that's reality, IMO. Either you make decisions, take action, and work as hard as it takes for as long as it takes to get what you want out of life - or - you don't, and you don't.

Yeah and if i don't get what i want i will die a lonely old man with seeing my Stepbrother and Stepsister having a Wedding, having Kids. I'm not having that, i don't want to be that one guy in my family to be lonely. I want to find a Partner, get Married, have a family. I want to bring my partner round my house for xmas, go to her house for xmas. Meet her family and for her to meet mine.

It's usually easier to find someone without actively looking, so it's good to just let it happen when the opportunity arises to casually meet and hangout with somebody.

As a girl, I don't like it when a guy is obviously looking for something right away, and I prefer to establish friendship and trust first.

Just keep yourself open to whatever, there's more possibilities that way.

Cricketman123, you reminded me of my struggles in the past. You can find my old threads on this forums. I learned so much about myself when hanging out with friends. I mean just friends. Just go and socialise with people, but WITHOUT expecting anything to happen. It helps me not to expect anything because it remind of myself what I want to achieve.

Women these days are becoming anxious because media influenced their thoughts on meeting a guy because of trusts and comfort. Hell I am only 25 years old and still yet have a beautiful girlfriend. I used to be worried, because I wasted my energy on finding it. Now I am not worried and having a good time spending with friends and go out meet new people. It helps me to connect with people. I totally understand people can be critical of our Autistic behaviour. I am very sensitive to their reactions, but that is not end all.

Best guy traits usually come from high-functioning Autism is having a career. Women loves a guy who is already committed, career-driven, help the communities and have a job. How this started for me? I went out networking with people of similar passion and interests. That how it works. Don't let the mainstream impacts on you. It did to me when I thought everyone is partying, having sex and that kind of crap. The reality is true when you are out in reality. You have to be out there to experience it. These things slowing people's careers down, no wonder mental health is prevalent these days because of indecision of people made.

My struggles reminds me very much of you Cricketman123. I decided to calm down and back off. This helps women to lean on me. They love to dominate guys.

I want you to focus on what you want to do. Get a career, use it and expand it. Then women will come to you in no time. But you have not to think about it. Time and place is unpredictable.

This is mostly good advice.

I'm more of a go-out-and-make-things-happen kind of guy. That's really my only difference from Ecomatt. I don't like waiting around for things to just happen. But he's right. Things will "just happen" if you wait around and not force things.

I'm an introvert, to be honest. What worked for me was throwing myself into unfamiliar situations, getting to know the people around me, and allowing myself to just be seen by others. Once people started to feel safe with me around, I could cut loose a little, open up, and be myself. Then I could take more initiative with making friends and moving the needle on relationships.

One thing I'd do is use my age and experience to my advantage. As a graduate student I was smitten by a young pianist with albinism. So whenever she'd accompany someone in the clarinet studio, I'd volunteer to be her page-turner. It went from that to walking her to lunch to asking her out to a serious relationship. All within a month or two. Being older and having one college degree out of the way was a big help and allowed me to make bolder moves than a younger me could have.

On two occasions, I got mixed up with girls who were in bad relationships. Neither of those lasted long. The second time things were getting serious. I made a point of talking to a girl who worked at the library. One night I dropped something. She called me from the library to let me know she found it, so I told her to hang on to it and I'd get it the next day. Instead, she came straight to my place to return it. We stayed up chatting for a while, and that's when she told me things were not well with her bf. So after a while she was sitting close to me. I leaned in to kiss her. She said, "Please, don't kiss me."

Ok, now kids, don't try this at home, ok? It was all about where the conversation was going and the way she was looking at me was freakin' driving me crazy. I asked her if she didn't want me to, and she said that she DID want me to. So I tried again, she said "please don't," and I kissed her anyway. Had circumstances been different, we'd probably have been a good couple. But timing is everything when it comes to relationships.

The way I met my wife was eerily similar. She was good friends with my psycho ex and would have been one of her bridesmaids. As such she wasn't very fond of me. So we were on a trip with the marching band and I was making a move on my former roommate's ex-gf (he'd flunked out his freshman year). Well, that was going nowhere, I ended up placed quite firmly in the creep zone, and I was feeling thoroughly humiliated. We end up at this restaurant when I'm looking for some friends of mine when SHE walks in. She walks up to me and says "you look lonely." So we sat down and I waved my friends over. We had a good chat and decided to sit together on the bus for the trip home. We talked ALL NIGHT. So much so everyone else was annoyed with us. By the end of the night we had a good idea where things were going. We've been on-again-off-again for a while before we got married and virtually inseparable ever since.

The point being you're allowed to be bold. Girls dig that. DO take your time getting to know someone. DO ask girls out. DON'T be too hasty to call it a "date," even if that's what it is. If the time is right, make your intentions unmistakeably clear. After meeting up once or more weekly for, say, a month, go for the kiss. Give her room ans opportunity to bail on you, but going for it will make your intentions undeniable. She may reject you, but that's ok. I prefer rejection early in the game. Keeps us both from wasting each other's time.

Also, I recommend getting some good reading in. First off, I love the Bible. Everything you need to know about interpersonal relations is right there. Some other good reads: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 48 Laws of Power, How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie, absolute MUST READ), and Art of War (yes, Sun Tzu). Also, women's magazines and pretty much every Nora Roberts novel (Danielle Steele is also good, or that lady who does Outlander--good stuff). And daytime soaps (I like The Bold And The Beautiful, always had a crush on Katherine Kelly Lang, always wanted to BE Ridge Forrester).

Also, it doesn't hurt to read books on love, relationships, and sex. I'm not a huge fan of that kind of literature, but it won't hurt. The way you get good at meeting girls and getting a relationship is, if it's not natural to you, by STUDYING relentlessly followed by putting these theories into actual practice. I don't have a specific book in mind, they are all different and marginally effective. Even PUA lit is EFFECTIVE, despite so many opinions against it. Every little bit helps. The thing to remember is this one thing that won't go away once you find yourself in a LTR. The more you know and put into practice, the more ongoing education you avail yourself, the better chances of long-term success you'll have.

But how do I Start a conversation with someone i think looks attractive. What is a good Chat up line.

It's not as easy as going up to a girl in the street saying Hi, that will look weird and people will just laugh

And how would i actually ask that someone out. Its not as easy as Hi, the weather is great will you go out with me.

I think what some people don't realize is i have never even held a girls hand or had a selfie with one. I didn't get that prom experience. I am a only child, i don't have any nieces or nephews or cousins my age that are girls.