How to go about getting a boyfriend?

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Well she might be.
Anyway it's an example of how to go where your interests are even if you think your interests are too indoorsy, there may be related events if you look.

Hmmm I went to a gaming exhibition last year... I went with 2 other single women...Hangs head in shame... I am a super geek.

THEY HAD THE ORIGINAL OUTRUN GAME!! !! It was awesome!

^ You and your 2 friends should donate samples of your hair, nails... etc to labs...

... in order to replicate more of you.

There's e3 in Japan and another one in san diago too far and too epensive to go to for most gamers. Mostly it's news and game review places that go to them.
I can't even afford to go to Portland 2 hours a way. Spending thousands of dollars to go to one of those in hopes of finding a single woman at it seems like a stretch. Though guess for women going to meet guys it'd be lots of options

Closest thing locally is dungeons and dragons but I'm not into that stuff that's like super super geeky and mostly guys who play it. And from what I hear not the most respectful towards women type of guys.

I thought she was a gamer cause she mentioned she played mmo but doesn't have time for them anymore 0.o

Or as society we could embrace such hobbies as acceptable and encourage women to be into them instead of scaring them off. Not that I or you has any control over society

Not in Australia, despite having a big geek culture, not that I'm interested on geek culture anyway unfortunately.

Many o the geeky Americans here would feel right at home unlike me.

Barely any conventions for anything.

University is also rarely dorm/livable and you often have to commute, even then there's not really many clubs or groups and no frats. Nothing like US colleges.

An educational facility and not much else, Aussie colleges are.

Aside from 3 major cities Brisbane moderate amount of conventions) Melbourne and Sydney (high and high) your out of luck. I'm very far from the latter two.

These are the most populated spots but theres still millions who live in other parts of the nation.

Well maybe that sort of approach can work for some females, but you would have to be the sort to end up on the dance floor flirting with guys or grind dancing next to them in the first place.

Also before I met my boyfriend I got led on quite a few times particularly if me and the guy ended up having sex the first time we met in person. I mentioned that and how frustrating it was to my boyfriend early on when we first started dating...and he was understanding about that and still expressed he'd like to have sex but was on the same page as me about wanting a relationship not just meaningless fooling around. So yeah I never got the impression he was only or mostly just interested in sex, I guess if I did get that impression than yes, we likely would not have gotten into a relationship.

^On the topic of the whole mmo thing...I'd say trying to meet a guy on an mmo like while playing likely may not be the best idea. I myself play League of Legends and of course I like the game and sometimes the in game chatting can be entertaining....but you certainly do end up with trolls and people just raging and being toxic as well. So probably not the most conductive environment for looking for a relationship.

However it could be useful to mention you're into mmos on a dating profile or as one of your interests IRL, as finding people with some similar interests can be a good way to find someone compatible.

He is kind of right, though.

Yeah, 90% of stranger men at nightclubs or who approach women in public are very likely to only want sex and nothing more, but at least some of them would actually want a relationship.

Why are they approaching women in the streets and nightclubs and bars then? Because for some men this is their ONLY WAY of actually meeting any women in social situations at all.

I've read all the time of young men who lack a social life and can't really find many social groups to go to and social events so they have to resort to bars, nightclubs and the streets.

Not all men at these places are creeps who only want sex.

I hate to sound like an a55, but why would you have sex very early-on with them?

Yes, there are a lot of men who will go on a few dates with a woman even if all they want is sex, so by having sex with them that just gives them what they want and then they can just leave.

Of course you would want sex yourself so you're not so much as 'giving it' to them but agreeing to do it with them but you still know what I mean.

If you wanted to/want to get rid of those sort of guys in the future best to not have sex with them and keep going on dates with them, if they only want sex they'll either be pushy about it which will tell you they're a creep and to reject them, or they will get bored and give-up/ghost you.

I do see a lot of women complain of this problem, feeling lead-on, and it may be hurtful but for women incapable of the very open and direct honestly route you undertook with your boyfriend, this is the consequences of dating they may have to deal with as dating is hard.

Men are lead-on all the time...

I was going to say you must also accept 90% of men you'll meet, even the 'decent guys' who would only have sex with you once they're in a relationship with you, ARE physically attracted to you early-on/the very beginning, though you clearly already know this.

Being hyper sexual maybe definitely high sex drive I get turned on easily and so go along with stuff. Cuddling turns me on and my experience mostly leads to foreplay and so on. I want a relationship but I get carried away in the moment as I imagine they did too. I feel terrible about it even though they initiated it. I didn't have sex with any of them cause I felt anxious and couldn't. Though if they'd pushed or tried more I might of.
I want sex a lot but it's not what I really want. I don't feel first dates should include making out or cuddling yet most mine did cause they wanted to is that bad?
I asked before I did anything with them every time.

Makes me feel terrible for having a sex drive
Wish I could cuddle without getting horny

Sly that's normal, there are.men who get turned on just by looking at an attractive woman, what's.more.important than gettong turned on or not is self control, which you definitely do have.

If you asked them to cuddle and stiff first it means you are considerate of her.

What does a man with no self control look like?

A rapist/harrasser.

I don't believe that a rapist becomes a rapist (same for harasser) due to a "hyper sex drive" or even due to lack of sexual self-control...... it is not a matter of "overwhelming sexual urge". Meaning, it's totally not about provocative skimpy clothing or appearance; saying that would be like normalizing the rape/harassment as the result of "overwhelming male sexual urge" triggered by some attractive female which isn't the case; sane men who get any such overwhelming urge would fantasize and masturbate , not rape.

Think of it, how a normal man can maintain arousal while the woman is explicitly resisting and refusing him?

Because he's not normal: Experiments showed that rapists, unlike the control group, get aroused to violent stories/descriptions, they have a sadistic sexuality in their minds so they get aroused by power assertion, violence or dominance or anger "retaliation". There's the alcohol factor in some cases, which may bring out the worst from a person.

They can't be normal and must be psychologically disturbed and have a serious personality disorder either due to a certain upbringing or something else. It's not a coincidence that about 30% of sex offenders were abuse victims themselves as kids .

I agree with that, Boo.

It's more about the power over the woman than about the seductiveness of the woman.

Yes and it seems some females have more ability as far as being perceptive as to which guys may potentially be wanting more than casual sex or casual intimacy with them. Also some females like casual sex and intimacy, so may be more likely to find a relationships through participating in that kind of activity.

Also as I said the first time I went to a club was with my current boyfriend, so I never met any guys at places like that....I did go to bars from time to time but the only guys who expressed interest where just old drunks. The guys I ended up having sex with early on where guys I met online and we did it the first time we met in person.

Why you ask? Because I got led on, would get the impression these guys did really like me and figured being willing to have sex so soon if things seemed to heat up would be helpful in keeping them interested long enough to really get to know me and conclude they wanted to be with me. In reality it was likely just casual sex to them and I was discarded easily when they got bored. So yes I think it was reasonable to conclude the casual sex and/or intimacy early on wasn't a good approach for me at all.

Also after the fact I did come to realize holding off on the sex was a better idea, I took a break after the last time I got led on because I was angry about it and kind of wanted to re-evaluate my own approach. So when I met the guy who is now my boyfriend we went on a few dates and formed an actual connection before having sex and well the results have proved to be much better. But it took me a few getting led on or discarded easily before I learned that and actually gained the confidence to believe I didn't have to jump into sex for a guy to like me.

I don't think dancing skills are that necessary. Ppl always tell me to move more and dance at club, and if I don't mimick others I prolly look ret*d There aren't only dancefloors at clubs though and socializing can be enjoyable since its the norm to be drunk. I used to be quite bad when I first started to engage the opposite sex, but with years and watching pickup videoes I improved a lot. I feel like I have longer periods when im good and longer periods where i'm horrible..

I don't know if its anything special about clubs but I think any guy would have sex with any girl. It is just that at clubs it is a more open norm to hit on each other. Most of the guys who "are there just to have sex" are actually open to having a gf if they find the right one. So who is the right one? Some can be picky and some are not. Finding a right match can actually be hard, any guy and any girl aren't meant to be girlfriend/boyfriend. There aren't any special kind of people going to clubs, everyone goes to clubs or pubs.

Then nature is quite brutal, people are looking to climb the social hierarchy and are usually attracted to those who they feel are above them or cooler than them. This tends to be a general rule, but is not a necessary requirement for attraction ofcourse. People have other values too which can cause attraction. So yeah clubs can be a brutal place, people are rude and straightforward to show what they want or dont want. It is still a more efficient place to find a date I'd say since otherwise you only meet so and so many new people.

At clubs I feel like girls are superstars and guys are just peasents begging for their money. Just like you think that guys are there just to have sex, I wonder if girls are just there to have fun rejecting people, seeing some reject one after another. However I sometimes notice they too dont reject the guy if they find a really cool one.

So yeah it feels bad for girls if they give away sex and arent cared about after because it has an effect on their confidence and self image. Similar it feels bad for a guy to get rejected again and again and it has an effect on confidence and self image. Also guys can get low selfesteem if they don't have sex at all for many months or years. Yet both guys and girls are motivated to meet up despite the mentioned conflict of interest and people actually call this "the game". Guys are perceived as creeps and girls are perceived as rude and mean. I think it can be good to be as understanding towards one another despite this conflict of interest.

I'd say a possible benefit to going to clubs or at least somewhere with alcohol is that you get exposed to many possibilities. However it is an indirectly brutal environment where one may have to tolerate rejections and feeling unwanted. How do one do that? Have enough self esteem and not let another persons feelings or opinions change how you feel and laugh at it if you are rejected. If you find someone you like show interest but mix it in with some signs or disinterest as well, since being not too interested or even less interested is attractive (tells that you believe you're higher on the social hirearchy). Also have fun.

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Lunella, I agree that online dating is stupid and not realistic; and as I said, I hate MMOs, it's the worst game type for me because I don't like to be "committed" to a game - when I tried MMOs, some teams dictate me how much and when I should play in order to execute some planned group attacks or whatever.

In offline games, there's no such problem. I play and stop whenever I feel like it, the only online game I would play are the one-match things, one session, I play, I win or lose, bye bye. I am totally in control of my timing like in offline games.

But it's about the tone of your previous post, you consider the majority of your fellow male MMOs as losers - ever thought that this may be true for female MMO players perhaps? hmm? You've been playing for 17 years, so a male version of you might also look so down on you.