Do you get jealous?

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I've had strong feelings for people, but these have never been returned, so I wouldn't really count them as love.

I'm not jealous of other couples. I enjoy seeing people together. I like to try to figure out what they have in common or what kinds of things they like to do. So many couples end up being almost mirror images of each other. Adapting each other's patterns, words, movements, lifestyles. Slowly peeling away the unnecessary parts of their own beings that do not enhance their coupled effectiveness.

There are some that seem destined for failure. Where they are pawing at each other in public, excessively. I suppose they could be just be highly affectionate. But it's more likely they are very insecure and have to reestablish their "coupleness" so as to prevent any interlopers. They are not confident yet as a couple.

I would be jealous of my own mate, were I to have one at this time, as I am quite demanding of attention. I am very insecure too. hahaha! I've been in enough neglectful or abusive relationships that I am very wary. I liked myself to the feral cats I tend. They start off by running and hiding. Coming to the food long after I've gone.

They they begin to realize I am a source for nourishment of the food and water kind, and their survival depends on it. They begin to expect that food, from me, but are still wary. Depending on the cat, it can take a LONG time before there is any sort of trust.

One abused cat would be so funny. She'd come running with her tail up, all happy and meowing, until she got within 5 feet, and then her ears would go back and she'd growl and hiss. Again, I'd back off, and let her eat by herself, then later get closer, over months.

I'd get then so she'd let me be near by, but if I tried to touch her, I'd get scratched, deeply! Ouch! It took two years before I could stroke her and have her be comfortable. And it took another two years in the home before she was really truly at peace. The reward was her great affection and love. She would groom my head at night, while she lay on the pillow next to me.

She did a lot of "testing". Like liked to play "jump the head" in which she'd repeatedly jump over my face, first fast, and then eventually practically dragging her belly on my face. That is the ultimate TRUST for a wild or abused animal. As it fully exposes their belly to my mouth (which could bite).

I wandered off. Geez. But it would take a lot of work for me to be able to trust someone in a relationship, maybe years. Of constant devotion, not getting upset with me if I panic or hiss or growl or scratch. Knowing that those reactions have little to do with the actual person in front of me, but instead have to do with the past and all the crappy experiences I've had before.

Jealous of other couples? No. I have never seen a relationship that would work for me other than the one I'm in so I don't have anything to be jealous about. Usually it's the other way around and they get jealous of us because we're still so tight after all these years or because we don't have kids and do what we please. They know nothing about us and couldn't live with either one of us though, so their jealousy is stupid and a joke.

I haven't even seen new couples that really acted like us. I guess we're odd balls. We're pretty wrapped up in each other and often forget we're around people in public and get into some PDA that embarasses them. Oh well.

Jealous of the past...

There are all kinds of people and all kinds of past experiences. Those past experiences helped form us (good or bad) into the kind of person we are now. So were I to meet someone who was a good match for ME, that past is part of the parcel. And helped make that person into the good match for ME.

But I do have some problems with various aspects of people's pasts. If they are discussed incessantly so that I feel I am being compared and judged to someone who is no longer there. As memories fade, sometimes a person from the past is elevated into a much better person than they really were.

Who can compete with a god or goddess who is no longer there? No one.

As long as it is clear that those things or people in the past are PAST and not going to continue into the present, that has to be accepted.

On one hand, it does kind of bother me a bit if the guy has had a lot of experiences. It DOES make me feel insecure, in that I wonder if I am just another number that will eventually be discarded. And I wonder how I measure up. Knowing full well that the odds are that the NT guy hasn't dated a lot of Aspies or smart people, etc. So that I might be TOO different.

That might serve as an advantage though. That innocence isn't going to go away. That kind of outlook on the world, and that can be a nice change for an NT guy. As to whether or not he could handle it for the long term, I don't know.

Some guys have a lot of pride in being "the smart one"... and that can include social skills. Not IQ. I might have a higher IQ than him, but he's always going to be smarter when it comes to people.

I do get jealous at times, not at seeing couples specifically, but seeing others be so confident around people. Will I ever achieve that

This is a tricky one.
I do get very jealous of people who have close friends,as I don't really have any. I'm very envious of the easy way they talk with each other. I'm envious of people who have better communication skills than me.

But people who are 'in love', and kissing etc in public, I think they just look kinda silly. I know most relationships don't last anyway,so I don't envy them or feel jealous of them.

Extremely jealous but I try to hide it as best as I can.

oh that's soo true.. my heart can sink looking at a couple that's just perfect for each others.. awh it's pathetic.

it's the same thing about other things too, like if they're happy or in a place in life i admire

As the late President Saddam Hussein said “Jealousy is for women”.

'course, it's easier when you
know that you could have
rivals executed.

You mean Social IQ. There are different types of intelligences you know, like Creative IQ, Linguistic IQ and so on.

Well, we can define it as we wish.
Mine is from the moment that I
decide upon it. Strong feelings,
not mere lust, tend to be what
a was referring to then.

I used to get a bit jealous... but most of my friends are in relationships that work. That's such a rare thing in and of itself that I am pretty happy for them.

I've learned some about relationships from them talking about their wives/girlfriends too, so it isn't all bad.

I'll admit I do get jealous with a girl I may be smitten with, and see her with a jerk or something. But then again once I see that my opinion of her usually plummets so it's not all bad either.

The only time I really get jealous is when I am sitting right by a girl, at a party lets say, and she is completely doting on some guy... it can be a bit too much. I don't go to parties much, I probably need to... the ones with lots of alcohol to really experience this myself.

No I don't really get jealous much. But I remember when this girl I liked was still in a relationship, I'd think to myself "lucky bastard...."