Asked a girl to Starbucks, told she was married

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I decided I don't want to risk getting punched in the face by an overprotective and jealous husband. I am also just overwhelmed with so many things that this may be my final forum post.

Don't tell a guy "I have a boyfriend" or reject him before he even has a chance to ask you out.

Sure, casually mention your S.O. (without forcing it), but not directly say it when a guy approaches you before he asks.

Ffs that's one of the worst ways personally, worse than actual direct rejection, because it always makes you feel you never even had a chance no matter what, especially if every woman were to do it to you.

Another thing is to glare/death stare a guy who was about to approach you to get him to back off.

I don't care if you weren't interested, at least give me a chance to approach.

It takes A LOT of guts to approach a woman, and even if he's rejected plenty of men will feel better they at least tried, so death staring is not only rude, being overaggressive, but also means the guy cant feel proud he at least tried.

Unless he's specifically comes across very creepy/not well intetioned.

If you're in a hurry and don't want to be bothered, fair enough, look angry and walk really fast. If someone still bothers you anyway, pretend you don't notice them.

Needing to get to work or something is different than browsing the bookstore on Saturday or relaxing liesurely at a cafe.

Imagine it, every single woman you ever try and approach death stares you, and those that dont, say "I have a boyfriend" before you even open your mouth. You'll be wondering why bother.

I think Sly said once he had this problem, every woman he so much as smiled at death glared him, giving him low self esteem, thinking he is and always will be unworthy of women attention and is too ugly. He said he'd look down at the ground ashamed afterwards.

Poor guy.

And how's NOT asking out strangers working for you?

I believe people should only cold approach and ask out strangers as a last resort, but when you have Aspergers it doesn't take very long before that happens.

Most N.T. men are working, studying and have a small circle of friends, so they have plenty of ways to meet people and online dating just supplements this.

Statistically, most people meet their S.O. through mutual friends - you have friends, they have friends to introduce you to, and you end up meeting them at get togethers or parties until you end up meeting someone you naturally 'click' with, hang out with your third party mutual friend a bit, exchange numbers, get to know them, etc.

So when you DON'T have this, which is true for many men with Asperger's, all you have is study, work, volunteering, meetup groups, and online dating.

But many men with aspergers or mental disorders also aren't studying, or aren't working, or both, so that limits their options further.

You are beginning to try my patience, you little creep. Trying to justify your pathetic attempts to get a girlfriend, ANY girlfriend, doesn't change the fact that you are resorting to hitting on strangers in public, who don't want to be approached by weird men. Unless you're charismatic and attractive, which you clearly aren't or you wouldn't be single, then it's just going to get you death stares.

Aside from the whole husband deal, my mental energy is being dragged through the sewer with holding everything in my head together. I am honestly feeling pain in my head as well as gut wrenching in my core. I think I need to take a long hiatus from the forums.

I agree Markinis, Wrongplanet is a toxic, negative place with toxic, negative people. You definitely need a break from here to clear your mind. A long hiatus.

Outrider, stop approaching strangers - it's stupid. It will not work, and these PUA videos are often filtered and staged.

Alliekit, stop pre-rejecting guys who haven't even asked you out yet - it's also stupid. You can always mention your fiancee casually without sounding as a warning or rejection.

You deserve nothing but hostility, Outrider. I spoke in generalizations, yes. Obviously I don't mean to say all women will react in a certain way, but people in general don't like being bothered. I would have referred to all people, not just women, but since we were talking about men hitting on women I figured you might be able to understand what I meant. It's called context.

Your constant posting of pickup videos is evidence for nothing more than hunks are attractive (no s**t), and that you are totally obsessed with utter nonsense; ie a creep.

If you want a stimulating intellectual debate, I suggest you go to University instead of bickering on an internet forum.