Almost 29 and I am still the same as I was last year

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I'm 23 and still feel no different from when I was 13. The only differences are that I have graduated high school, have the same part-time job that I had since I was 18, and I have been to college. Other than that, my life has not changed. I still don't have a social life and my interests and hobbies are still the same. I feel like it is going to be this way in another 10 years and for the rest of my life.

I just hope there are still oppurtunities or else I will have to slash my throat.

Suicideis very dangerous. It can leave you with permanent injuries. You could even die.

and



How do you do your approaching? Write down *all* details of it.

How are your looks? Other than not working out and so not being in shape, which I saw you mention.




Forget these kinds of generalizations on what women will think about these things lol. It depends on the individual.

I haven't made an approach since January and I never really had a consistent method of doing so. I guess you could call what I've done when I asked two girls out for coffee cold approaching where I would try to engage them and then ask for their numbers. I was trying to imitate NT guys since it seemed to work for them.

My frontal hair is thinning due to my genetics so I wonder if that's part of my struggle. I also wonder if my heavy eyebrows make me look angry all the time. I remember I was resting on a bench after work because I was tired and someone asked me if he could sit on the bench. I told him to go ahead and he said I looked pissed off because my eyebrows make me look like I am frowning.

I shave every day since it keeps my face looking young. I do tend to have bad posture and maybe it makes me look unconfident?

Last edited by Marknis on 05 Apr 2017, 10:39 am, edited 2 times in total.

Get good posture. You can straighten your body by pulling in with your lower abdominals.

Which type(s) of girls do (did) you approach? Are they on your level?




Do pay attention to posture.

I don't know about the eyebrows making you look angry. How is your mood by default?

I went back and read that post of yours again where you mention how you didn't manage to get results from working out. Your self-description of your body wasn't very flattering (I don't want to be offensive, just trying to help you get a better chance, from a woman's pov). I don't know what you were doing with the workouts but if my originally really thin brother has been able to muscle up from body building then anyone can!! It did take him a while but he got there.

So I suggest you get a good training plan, stick to it, while you also stick to the right diet with extra protein in it. Do read up on this, there's a lot of stuff out there about how to do this right, it's not as simple as just going to the gym every day.

Don't get me wrong, you don't have to be crazy muscled up, the goal is just to look decently attractive. And, also very important, regularly working out makes you feel better on the whole, which again will make you more attractive too.

I am short on time so I can't do quotes.

The kind of girls I like would be the nerdy/geeky/otaku/scene girls. In fact, the girl who told me she was "too busy" was an otaku girl and that makes the rejection hurt even more. One girl who rejected me I later found out was a religious girl so that helped me recover. We wouldn't have meshed. I used to have a faith in God but it fell apart due to the depression. Some might ask why I don't just go for a less uptight religious girl but it won't work. I am from the Bible Belt and here most Christians think you have to be Christian or you aren't a moral person. The really religious girls who look pretty also want a more traditional man and I don't fit that bill. My mother and grandmother tried to set me up with some religious girls who were "plain" in appearance but we had no common interests.

My mother and ex-husband actually hired a personal trainer to help me exercise but I eventually had to get away from her. She was very religious and her exercises did not help me.

Uuuuh no. If that were the case then dating wouldn't be such a big issue for Aspies.

Maybe you really do need to move out of the Bible Belt to have better options somewhere else. Since religion is such an important factor for you.

And you don't need a personal trainer to do effective exercise and do the proper diet with enough protein, there is a load of information online on all this.

One more thought. Those nerdy girls, you should be able to find them in some dedicated places (forums, etc) online that they visit... maybe better chance if you start getting to know them just online first.

I also liked the earlier tip by someone else that you should try and build a friendship/little circle of friends first. They for sure could help you get better at all the socializing and getting to know girls more easily and more girls.

Especially if you live in the Bible Belt.



What do you mean by religion being important to me? While I wouldn't turn down a girl who was a open minded Christian (extremely rare around here) or practiced a lifestyle like Buddhism, I do not want to be involved with a girl who thinks you have to be a Christian or you have no morals and you are going straight to Hell. Those kinds of girls honestly make me sick to my stomach because they are limiting themselves intellectually.

I guess it's a good thing my post was ignored because it seems I posted that at a high point in my mood and since then I have been properly properly depressed and hopeless. If you read some of the things people have said about my art, I am obviously super smart and a good catch (!) and I would post that here but it shows my real name. The thing is I have no friends and nobody cares that I am an artist even if I would love them. Nobody wants it. I want to do something violent to someone now. Haven't decided who. But I reckon if people can treat me this badly and show this little regard for my wellbeing, then they deserve a taster of what it feels like.

Bad idea! If you do something regrettable you'll be far more miserable than you are now. You won't be happier in jail. It's not worth ruining your life for a few seconds of vindication.

You were in a good mood before and you'll be in a good mood again. I know from experience that happiness comes and goes. It's possible to be miserable and ecstatic in the same day. It's impossible to be happy 24/7, no one is. Honestly you'll feel better if you stop expecting to be happy 24/7 because the promise of happiness is the one idea from our culture that's making people miserable.

Unfortunately, that hasn't happened for me despite using forums for many years (I'd sometimes go on yearly length hiatuses, though). I never come across girls from my area and I guess it's partly because Bible Belt gender roles encourage girls to be silent and "traditional" in order to be considered attractive to guys. I really hate Bible Belt gender roles and I don't mean that in a SJW way. There is nothing wrong with masculinity or feminity, it's machismo and marianismo that are bad.
I enjoy metal music and fighting games but I don't punch people in the face for no reason, drink until I pass out, smoke until my nostrils burn, and drive like a maniac. I don't mind if girls want to dress well and read books but I dislike how so many here in the Bible Belt feel like they need to come off as stupid to be attractive, let men do all the work as well as protect them if they get attacked, and let God lead their lives for them.

Building a social circle is another issue for me. Most of the social scene here is based around the crappy dive bars despite how there are so many churches around here.

Why should I be invisible. The only thing people won't ignore is pain. I can't find anything else to use as leverage. But actually I'm not violent, and I can't seem to touch anyone for any reason. So I'm pretty screwed.

Precisely what I meant but I was in a rush so I didn't word it unambiguously.

What I meant was, "Maybe you really do need to move out of the Bible Belt to have better options somewhere else. Since the issue of incompatibility about religious views is such an important factor for you."

Make sense now?

Move out of the Bible Belt to a place with fewer religious people is what I meant.

Did any of my suggestions help? Were you able to think about any of them further instead of immediately running into a mental block about obstacles about them?




Move out of the Bible Belt!

Make a plan for that and then move.




And again... move already!!

Clearly, all in all, you have special needs that will not be met by staying in a small town in that sh***y area.