My boyfriend is so lazy

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That's pretty good to have paid off his mortgage in his 40s

Do you have national dental insurance, too? He should take advantage of it. Painful teeth must be taken care of. Root canals are not painful with anesthesia.

There is maybe this little gremlin telling you to prove everyone wrong because you invested a lot of your time and feelings into this person and don't want this relationship to fail. I implore you to listen to your peers and not the gremlin this time around. Whatever the reasons you are holding onto this relationship for, ask yourself why these reasons are good enough and would they be good enough in another circumstance.

EDIT: There was a post before my one and it magically deleted itself. I agreed very much with what they have to say. Reality is a hard pill to swallow. You came here hoping for confirmation bias in some form. Whether that bias is better fitted to "stay with him" or "leave" him, I hope you consider many of the viewpoints shared with you in this thread and come to the right decision, not the most comfortable.

I don't think he has dental insurance. He's been given strong antibiotics by his dentist today.

You see, he is often telling me to think positive. While I see his point to an extent, I still can't think positive about everything. He has this strange way of thinking that things will only happen if you mention it, for example if you say "what if our favourite restaurant is closed this week?" and you get there and it is closed, he'll say that it's closed because you spoke it out.
Life does not work that way. If something's going to be closed, it's closed for a reason, not because you said it might be. If you say "what if lightning hits my house?" and it does, it's not because you said that. The lightning would have hit your house regardless.
He needs to learn that I am not God. Things don't happen because I say they might. I'm just a "what if?" person. I just like to have a back-up plan, also I do risk-assess a lot of things.
And I'm not always being negative. I'm being realistic. If I climbed on top of the roof of my house and people I love yelled at me to get down, I wouldn't say "oh think positive, I won't fall!" or "if you keep panicking like that then I will fall!" or "oh I'm more likely to die in a car accident than die falling off this roof!" But that is how my boyfriend thinks.

^ Can you tell me "what if you win the lottery?" ?

Joe, that thing your boyfriend has about things happening because someone spoke the possibility out loud -- that is a very odd and irrational way of thinking. It's superstitious and without any basis in reality. That is not how the world works. "Thinking positive" about a restaurant being open or not is not going to change the decision the owner made that evening, as it's nothing to do with someone else's thoughts, positive or not, and certainly not if they speak something out loud.

I know you know him and I don't, and I know you don't want to hear this, but this guy worries me. He sounds irritable, irrational and full of issues and burdens that he won't even discuss with someone who loves him. We all have issues and burdens, but to snap at the person you love most in the world in order to avoid talking about them is a problem.

I hate to tell you but this is pretty common in dating and relationships. People are always on their best behavior and then that fades over time so the person you are seeing now was always him. You can't change someone. You can talk to them and tell them how it makes you feel, you can even tell them how you feel like breaking up with them if things don't change and it still won't work.

My ex was also very lazy and that is one of the reasons why we're not together. Except he lacked motivation in life and had a delusional view about how the world should run and thought his idea would work. He couldn't seem to grasp why his idea would never work so for a while I just thought he wasn't very smart but now I wonder if that was his undiagnosed schizophrenia. Could that also be why he lacked motivation in life? Probably. But like most people with mental illnesses, he hid his and masked it by making excuses but all that did was it came off as manipulation and mind games he was doing and using me. He also seemed cool about if we broke up when I told him about how I was thinking about it if things didn't change so when I actually broke up with him, he was so hurt when before he was okay about it and didn't care. It's possible he might have thought it was just a threat and then he was surprised when he saw I was serious but it was too late. I warned him. But I found out online that break up threats, men see that as a game women do to manipulate them to change so I say only do this is you are really intending to do it.

Also things I have seen you post about your boyfriend makes me think he isn't NT and he has something going on because that isn't typical behavior. It may not be autism but there is something else going on.

Has his snapping been increasing? I would keep track of how often this happens and see if there is a pattern. Also the fact he isn't doing anything to make a change to get better again and he has cut back on his hours so he doesn't have an excuse anymore.

He's been snapping at me since an infection started in his gums, and he is on antibiotics now but he will still drink alcohol. He's not an alcoholic but he likes to drink beer some evenings, and this week-end he's going out with some work friends, which will involve smoking and drinking. I can't tell him that he's not supposed to drink while on antibiotics, because it will be like talking to the cat.

He is not a bad person. He's just very weak-minded. He gets these addictions and he can't seem to stop them from running his life, and he won't listen to his girlfriend.

I hate coming on here and talking about him like this, but I love him and I just want to help.

Joe, you don't want a person with problems, trust me. He will become a burden to you. You are too young to be dealing with this sort of thing. He isn't responsible, and you are not responsible for him. He should not be taking his problems out on you. It is unfair on you.