29 May 2007, 9:18 am
I'm very opinionated, so it isn't a problem with agreeing with other people too much. In fact, I really like a good debate, although I make a point of letting the other person know that I'm not taking the debate personally.
I think I agree with ZanneMarie, a lot of people seem to need a chase to stay interested. I've never seen any point to that; I'm too honest. If I'm dating you and I like you, I'm going to tell you.
Maybe the guys who like a chase get the wrong impression at first that I'm "chase material". When I'm just acquaintances or friends, I can come off as aloof. I've never gotten the whole flirting thing down and it's not until I'm dating a guy and feel he likes me back that I show how I feel.
To be honest, I like the fact that I don't play games. I'm not going to change that about myself (probably couldn't even if I wanted to), just because the majority of people out there need some sort of challenge in dating. It's as though they need to build up their egos by feeling that they successfully brought down the toughest kill (insert image of cave man pumping his chest with his fists). 
29 May 2007, 11:04 am
Spot17 wrote:
This is not just a male problem. People (mostly NTs but some Aspies too) seem to be hardwired to need some sort of chase or challenge romantically from the person they're interested in, in order to stay interested and fall in love. Doesn't make a damn bit of sense to me, but I've observed it (and been directly affected by it) enough to know it's true. It doesn't matter what you look like or what the other person looks like, if you're too nice and accommodating, they lose interest no matter what gender you are.
I've had multiple guy friends tell me how great I am because I'm not needy, bitchy, and high maintenance like most women. They say any guy would love to be with a girl like me. BS! The guys I date end up losing interest and can't get over their ex girlfriends who treated them like dog crap. The guys I like, don't like me back. They end up with women who try and change everything about them and make their lives miserable, yet they crawl after them and pawn over them like they were the best thing that ever happened to them. And to set the record straight, it's not that I'm unattractive or crazy. I have no problem attracting guys. The problem seems to be that I'm too nice.
I've had multiple guy friends tell me how great I am because I'm not needy, bitchy, and high maintenance like most women. They say any guy would love to be with a girl like me. BS! The guys I date end up losing interest and can't get over their ex girlfriends who treated them like dog crap. The guys I like, don't like me back. They end up with women who try and change everything about them and make their lives miserable, yet they crawl after them and pawn over them like they were the best thing that ever happened to them. And to set the record straight, it's not that I'm unattractive or crazy. I have no problem attracting guys. The problem seems to be that I'm too nice.
Guys who do this are even worse than women who go for jerks. At least the women have an evolutionary excuse (it means they have the emotional maturity of a she-wolf, but at least it's an excuse), but men (negative emotional maturity?)? I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't date a woman that wasn't nice. Confidence is attractive; bitchiness, meanness, etc are not. Nice, attractive? Add confident, compatible interests to my own, and you have my dream girl.
29 May 2007, 11:58 am
29 May 2007, 12:12 pm
29 May 2007, 12:21 pm
29 May 2007, 12:23 pm
29 May 2007, 12:48 pm
Neuromancer wrote:
Spot17 wrote:
I have no problem attracting guys. The problem seems to be that I'm too nice.
Seems to me you area dream!! !
I totally agree
I woudln't leave a woman like that alone, she would be the one tired of me
I've seen the same with girls, it seems that they like more the guys who treat them like trash, and prefer to go out with them than to go out with a nice guy who would treat them perfectly fine.
For both sides my thinking is that they just look for sex, and if you are not the way the other partner expect you to be in that area, then they reject you, and look for someone else, and they don't care about personality and who you are in the inside, probably that is the reason of the existing of many divorces. Those people are stupid.
29 May 2007, 1:25 pm
29 May 2007, 2:09 pm
Spot17 wrote:
And to set the record straight, it's not that I'm unattractive or crazy. I have no problem attracting guys. The problem seems to be that I'm too nice.
Being too nice may not be a reason, because it's an advantage, not a flaw. Maybe you are missing something else...
Last edited by cognizant on 30 May 2007, 2:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
29 May 2007, 2:13 pm
Quote:
I agree. Why can't people just date someone based on their personality? I mean, I would. Personality and loyalty are important to me.
Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George is dating a woman from Elaine's art class. Elaine acts as a go-between, to see if the lady really likes him. She says she does, because, "Looks aren't that important to me." At first, George thinks it's the worst thing ever, until he realizes that she doesn't care if he shaves, showers, wears sweatpants, etc.
Personally, I was always more physically attracted to a nerdy type of guy to begin with. Most of the jocks just looked like pretty boys to me. My husband was, actually, a little too classically good looking, if that makes any sense. He really wasn't my type, but he's such a dork, that I still felt comfortable with him. Plus, he's not anal about grooming issues, like a pretty boy would be. He does clean up nice, though.
29 May 2007, 11:02 pm
29 May 2007, 11:54 pm
30 May 2007, 3:25 am
Quote:
Brilliantly said, and perfectly defended.
You should be a professional debater.
You should be a professional debater.
Thanks!
In all seriousness, the claim is so ridiculous that it doesnt even rate a counter argument, though I can provide one if desired.
30 May 2007, 4:38 am
kiki3 wrote:
Quote:
I agree. Why can't people just date someone based on their personality? I mean, I would. Personality and loyalty are important to me.
Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George is dating a woman from Elaine's art class. Elaine acts as a go-between, to see if the lady really likes him. She says she does, because, "Looks aren't that important to me." At first, George thinks it's the worst thing ever, until he realizes that she doesn't care if he shaves, showers, wears sweatpants, etc.
Yes Seinfeld
I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable
30 May 2007, 4:53 am
01 Jun 2007, 10:41 am
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