kraftiekortie wrote:
Aside from all the studies, articles, etc., I still believe that, for us Spectrum folk, knowing that a lady consents to a man's advances (and vice versa) is very important.
I've come to believe, despite it being "unromantic," that directly asking a woman if she would like to make love (putting it in romantic tones, and not asking the question clinically), is very important; otherwise, you risk being accused of something which you had no intention of doing.
Let me emphasize: most women would merely pull away, or verbally (depending on the person, it could be in a nice way, or a not-so-nice way), inform you that they don't consent to being kissed, caressed, etc. When that happens, just stop. Most women are not going to accuse you of sexual abuse or rape because you tried to kiss them. They are more likely to do so if you persist after they said, or indicated, "no!"
Yes, that exists---the woman who says "no" when she means "yes." It's happened to me. But forget about that for 2017 (I would purport that this phenomenon is rare these days). Especially for us Spectrum Folk! For us, when it's "no," it's "no." Forget all the other crap.
I generally agree, but I want to add that the person in question has no responsibility to say no. I recommend practicing saying no, in fact. Lots of people have a hard time saying no. The person who wants to initiate sex needs a clear yes of some mutually agreeable sort, with verbal assent as the gold standard.
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"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade