Why are women so desperate for men?

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I'm intelligent and I don't hide it. I can maybe be abrasive when I'm making a point, but I'm also very polite and friendly do I balance it out I hope. I think I am too much of a force to be reckoned with. I'm very resolved and determined about things. I'll post science and nature articles on Facebook (as well as cat memes), but to a regular dude I think that's intimidating.

I don't find women posting things about science or showing intelligence or holding a STEM degree as intimidating.

What I do find as intimidating though is when one is saying stuff like "I think I am a force to be reckoned with", that sounded like Kim Jong threatening Trump.

A lady on okcupid showed interest in me recently (she initiated) - she works in cybersecurity.
Does this make me feel intimidated? Nope.

But what would make me feel intimidated is if she starts going on how she wants a guy to have a superior IQ than her or else.... you know, those boasting stuff which we guys hear a lot.

Another woman on okcupid told me yesterday how she was tired of guys with "lower IQ than her"; as if it's possible to measure IQ in high accuracy via online exchange.

I do know she was trying to pass a compliment to me and a self-boasting at the same time, but honestly I found it intimdating; like I envisioned if I get proven to be less competent or less knowledgeable than her in some area then she would categorize me as "lower IQ than her"; and honestly I've heard it from like 90% of women I chatted with on okc; it got old - and I have seen and experienced an ugly pattern in these people.
I am also tired from gals like her:



and oh there's nothing wrong if a woman dates a guy with lower IQ than her, if neither makes an issue about it.

This is an ugly attitude and frankly stupid, a relationship is not a constant IQ and insecurity testing.

Be the smartest human (not referring to you hurtloam but to those boasting ppl) for all I care, but without all this boasting attitude.

Oh btw, I know Sabreclaw would ask me this: Yes I am still in relationship; and yes I am still checking okcupid at times, why?

Well....how to put it, having some backup dates for later isn't a bad idea (my gf will return to her country eventually).

Oh i meant i wont pretend to agree when I actually don't agree. I'm up for a debate and won't back down easy.

Sometimes it's stupid stuff like why are ties regarded as smart clothing in summerits stupid. I'm not letting of that notion. They're stupid.

Same here. And having over twice your age on you I can tell it does NOT improve as you get older. Women do not have the same desire for intimacy that men do. After I got married, sex was down to like, twice a week or something. We got back from the honeymoon and it was like I ceased to exist within a week. After having my first kid, it was nonexistent for a while. I mean, naturally, of course it is. Things started to pick up after a year. Then there was that one day we ran out of condoms. Oops.

That's when things got BAD for us. No money, no jobs, no home. Another year went by with next to nothing. Things started to turn around for us and we started talking about baby #3. Nothing SERIOUS, just talking. Then the condom broke.

Yet another year goes by with little action. And another. And another when I wondered if she even noticed me at all. Things eventually did start to pick up. We worked up to about twice a month and called it good.

Now we're up to 3 or 4 times a month.

If she were telling this story, she'd tell you that between a job, 3 kids, keeping house, there was just no time for sex nor any real desire. She would say that working herself up to a climax was just more work, just something else she felt obligated to do to keep me happy--and not really worth the effort for herself. She'd be perfectly content to let me do what I needed to do and be done with it. That just left me feeling dirty, though. So whenever she gets horny, I'm ready and willing. But I have no idea when that will be.

Her perspective has since changed in that she feels she has neglected that part of our relationship. So...MAYBE once a week if the moon and planets align just right. She wants intimacy more, makes time for it, and actually seems to enjoy it.

Aaaaaaand we're thinking about baby #4.

lol

Which means I'll turn 60 (empty nest years) before I get any again! LOL

No, men and women value intimacy differently. For us, half the satisfaction is seeing a satisfied woman no matter what it takes, hence why we locker-room brag about staying power. Women just want to know they are valued and don't see what the big deal is. I told him I love him; geez you'd think that would be enough! Erm...no, it's NOT enough. Words are wind. If you really cared for me, you'd enjoy being with me--and SHOW it!

Look at it another way. We both hate washing dishes. She sees a sink full of dirty dishes and thinks, crap I've got to wash dishes AGAIN. So the first thing she does is take care of the dishes.

Me? Meh...I'll get to it when I get to it. And when I finally do it, it's like climbing Mt. Everest. You don't do it every day, but you get bragging rights just for doing it once. So washing dishes is a challenge, a conquest. Look honey, I washed dishes!! ! And she's like, so?

Which leads to the question "Does it REALLY matter?" It's easy early on to get a sense of entitlement, that this is what we're SUPPOSED to do. I'm SUPPOSED to feel good and you're SUPPOSED to like making me feel good. And when kids come sometimes it's like Al Bundy on "Married: With Children." I do think women should consider whether they are taking men for granted, ask if things are cooling off at home whether they are the ones putting distance between themselves and their husbands. With husbands, same thing. Do we expect too much? Are the things we value really that important in the long run?

Its funny how everyone replying to the OP, even the women here, all agree its the opposite and men tend to be more depressed about being single than women.

And will ya look at that.

Hurtloam, one of the only women on wrongplanet who actually complains she feels lonely and dislikes being single (the other woman being slw1990) admits she so independent men actually think she doesn't want a man in her life when she does.

If there's any advice i have for women, its to try and stop acting so independent and fulfilled.

Contrary to what Feminism tells you, with it's aggressive "I don't need no man!" Attitude, the majority of both men and women deeply desire love and sex and for most people life is very unfulfilling being single, and you're not weak or submissive for actually being attracted to the sex nature wants you to be attracted to (or to be attracted to other women, nothing wrong with that either if that's your thing). You're no less independent, if anything, trying to aft super independent and fulfilled all the time is exhausting and may actually take a weight.off your shoulders.

Don't be ashamed of 'needing' a man, if you 'need' one let the world know, cause we certainly need you and are less afraid to make it known.

To be fair though boo, I would say that IQ is actually fairly important when it comes to combatibility. I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a woman who had an IQ much lower than me, it's like talking to a child.

The idea that she can somehow measure mens IQ from their texts, is quite ridiculous though...

Why don't you just make an okcupid profile. To be frank as long as your not morbidly obese women on there can find a bf instantly once they understand how to weed through the good and bad.

Step 0. When a guy has failed this easy gauntlet block/hide him so you don't have to see his spam in your box or he hits you with another message.
Step 1. Ignore all messages that refrences sex in any way.
Step 2. Do not ignore boring messages like hi because these can be real people who suck with girls which is what you want.
Step 3. Read profiles but don't judge on length or content.
Step 4. And this is a big one. If someone seems comfortable and can make you laugh constantly, feel good and they seem fun. RUN
People who have game^ are good at this because they have experience and it's not a relationship to them because they know how to control women with "game" etc.
Step 5. Out of the 20-30 messages/profiles you have left start messaging them all. Be agressive and don't be passive. If a guy has the chance to talk to a girl who doesn't do the wait x time thing and he doesnt do it back to you he stays in success pile. If he thinks he needs to wait to not show intrest either tell him your different or drop him.
Step 6. Out of the last few messages / guys chat it up DO NOT get your ego boosted and look to suggest meeting irl. If they are not reluctant you have keepers if not you have someone probably still playing the game. All in all this should take 1-3 days and you will have a lifetime boyfriend prob.

Do you talk a lot about partial physics and dark mater?
Mean I feel most people regardless of their is talk about tv and sports or current events. But the way you and women make it out is you like your having conversations in line with what a. Much of scientists at a convention would be having.

We are not socially independent and single as the result of some feminist ideology. We are socially independent and single because we have autism spectrum disorders and lack the social programming that those on the spectrum were born with.

I should think that should have been apparent from the subject matter of the website.

Ha yes this. Very true.

We are not socially independent and single as the result of some feminist ideology. We are socially independent and single because we have autism spectrum disorders and lack the social programming that those on the spectrum were born with.

I should think that should have been apparent from the subject matter of the website.

You make it sound so simple, but I don't think it is that simple. People actually are not single because of communication difficulties, repetitive interests or social programming, as those traits are relatively independent of relationship traits.