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iddqd
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27 Sep 2007, 11:47 am

Sorry, I don't exactly have an unlimited amount of women to test my skills on... I only have a few chances at my school, if that... I don't know if I'm attractive or not, no one's ever told me, so I'm not sure who I've got a chance with anyway. :roll:



michel
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27 Sep 2007, 11:53 am

Still give it a try with the very few that are around you. As for whether you're attractive or not, a little confidence always make you look better no matter what. No one has ever commented about your looks? You only need to look attractive to the person YOU find attractive. Look at Cisco, he's dated the hottest chicks, and he's not exactly Brad Pitt.



sleepless168
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27 Sep 2007, 1:51 pm

calandale wrote:
Not really in agreement with the
above poster.

First, what is doing as well with girls?
I found that I was able to form more
stable relationships with females that
were precisely my taste, than most
of my friends, whilst I was in college.
I viewed this as exactly what I desired.

But, if you mean scoring lots of easy
lays, there are guys with AS who are
perfectly capable of this. Indeed, if
I changed my standards a bit, even
at my age, I think that I could manage.


Well obviously this is not the experience of most people with AS as you can see in this post. Also "doing well with girls" doesn't mean having sex, i dunno why everything revolves around sex in USA (im not from usa). I mean just being able to approach the girl you like and having a relationship (whatever the one you are looking for).



calandale
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27 Sep 2007, 7:57 pm

sleepless168 wrote:

Well obviously this is not the experience of most people with AS as you can see in this post.


Think about this particular forum. Love and Dating. I suspect
that even on non-AS boards, such fora are filled with tales
of woe. I'd not be posting here, if not for how heavily such
thoughts are weighing upon me, due to the fact that I'm
currently alone. Sure, we have special difficulties, but I'm
not convinced that they apply well, when good matches are
made. And those matches seem somehow deeper than what
I saw in most of my acquaintances.

Quote:
Also "doing well with girls" doesn't mean having sex, i dunno why everything revolves around sex in USA (im not from usa).


Hence why I posted BOTH interpretations.
Some see it one way, others another. I
prefer a deep and meaningful love. Though
I doubt that I'd be happy doing without sating
my sexual needs, if in such a situation.

Quote:
I mean just being able to approach the girl you like and having a relationship (whatever the one you are looking for).


The first half is pure hell. Only seems to work for me,
when THEY approach, since I'm so incompetent. But, once
living together (essentially if not entirely), such a bond seems
to form, as to be very difficult to break.



Quirky_Girl72
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27 Sep 2007, 11:10 pm

iddqd wrote:
I was struck by a serious dose of "reality" yesterday... I'm sixteen, male, haven't had a girlfriend ever, and I'm scared time is running out... I had this thing at school, and a girl I like was there... it's strange, somehow I got this little idea in my head that just because we'd be in the same room, that we'd talk and make friends... sh** I hate myself for doing that. I'm so f***ing frustrated... I really can't stand being alone, and living inside my head... if I don't get a girl soon, will I be left out? I don't consider myself ugly, but I don't want to end up with an ugly girl. But don't get me wrong, the last thing I want is a "hot" girl... so please help!


No, it is not. I believe it really will happen when you meet the right one. I did not have a boyfriend until I was 19 (almost 20) and he was the person I lost my virginity to. I am glad that I waited, since I was emotionally ready to deal w/the consequences of sex and heartache. I was also afraid of catching diseases and/ or getting pregnant. In addition, most of my friends were male, they completely demeaned the women they hooked-up with, and I did not want to be one of those girls. I think that is why my first bf was 6 yrs older than I was. Well, all of bfs in my 20s were between 6 an 10 yrs my senior, since they were more mature.
Anyway, your time WILL come and it WILL be worth waiting for. I hate to say it, but you are still quite young. Nevertheless, I do know your pain. I felt left out, since I was incapable of interacting w/men the way my female counterparts did at the age. Even if a guy showed interest in me at 16, my self-esteem was so low that I would think that it was joke being played on me. However, that is my story...


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iddqd
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26 Oct 2007, 7:01 am

Is seventeen too late? xD



pbcoll
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26 Oct 2007, 8:10 am

no, but maybe 24 is.



crackedpleasures
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26 Oct 2007, 4:36 pm

iddqd wrote:
I was struck by a serious dose of "reality" yesterday... I'm sixteen, male, haven't had a girlfriend ever, and I'm scared time is running out...


I am almost 26 and never had a long-lasting relationship.

You are still young and have plenty of time. You'll still meet lot of nice girls and sooner or later things will happen. I would not worry too much at your age about time running out. Seize the day! :)


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JenNH
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27 Oct 2007, 8:59 pm

I'm 18. I've had "long-lasting" relationships and they were hell.

But you know what? The boy I adore now probably hasn't even kissed a girl before outside of "spin the bottle". I don't care. It doesn't matter. If you're afraid of girls judging you later in life for not "being experienced" or having been in a relationship then you're worried about the wrong girls.

And believe me, relationships gotten into for the sake of being in a relationship never turn out good. It's better to wait for somebody you really like.



Tim_Tex
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27 Oct 2007, 9:09 pm

JenNH wrote:
And believe me, relationships gotten into for the sake of being in a relationship never turn out good. It's better to wait for somebody you really like.


Amen, sister!

Tim


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Phagocyte
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27 Oct 2007, 9:14 pm

I sure hope not. I'm almost 18 and in your same position.



clumsINESs
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29 Oct 2007, 2:46 pm

I feel the same as you do.(I'm a girl)
But I don't care about getting experienced.
I'm 16 (soon to be 17) and never had anything with anyone.
I just get so lonely sometimes eventhough I'm surrounded by lots of people.
And lately it just seems to me that everybody's in a relationship but me.
And to be completely honest-it gets to me.The sadness.The lonelyness.
My family doesn't understand me.My friends don't really get me too.
I just want someone to talk to.I want someone to love...I want to be loved.



pbcoll
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29 Oct 2007, 6:31 pm

clumsINESs wrote:
I feel the same as you do.(I'm a girl)
But I don't care about getting experienced.
I'm 16 (soon to be 17) and never had anything with anyone.
I just get so lonely sometimes eventhough I'm surrounded by lots of people.
And lately it just seems to me that everybody's in a relationship but me.
And to be completely honest-it gets to me.The sadness.The lonelyness.
My family doesn't understand me.My friends don't really get me too.
I just want someone to talk to.I want someone to love...I want to be loved.


I -and I'm sure a lot of other people on WP- can relate. It's hard when everyone around you is dating (your age) or getting married (my age, 24). I didn't know love until I was 17.



shakezula
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30 Oct 2007, 2:43 am

iddqd:
I was in exactly the same situation when I was 16, and I made a mistake. It's true that relationships that are started for the sake of being in a relationship don't work out. At the time, I was a virgin, never really had a girlfriend, except for this little thing when I was 12 which consisted of me getting the courage to ask her out, then being to afraid to spend in real time with her. It was so stressful. Anyway, back to when I was 16, I met a girl at work, (i was working, and she was a customer) and by met I mean we said hi to each other. The next day, I just happend to see her at my school. Long story short, she was very forward, which was what I needed. Afterschool that same day I ended up taking her to my house where we made out, etc (no sex). So far, this may not sound bad to you. Well, I had no real interest in this girl. I was just a 16 year old virgin. I'm not sure the idea of a long term relationship ever entered into my head. The next day we had sex, and it was incredibly......anticlimatic. I didn't care for her, she had a ton of problems I wasn't willing to take on, she had a boyfriend she didn't tell me about, and what's worse, I didn't mind. This whole thing lasted about a week, and I broke up with her. She was devastated, threatened to kill herself, I ended up sticking with her a bit longer, just so she wouldn't do anything rash. This was all a terrible expierence, and all because I was lonely and thought "time was running out." I can tell you, this little episode didn't solve that. You have plenty of time. If you are attracted to a girl, make eye contact, smile, and say hi for starters. Trust me, don't rush anything, and remember to lead with your heart, not any reproductive organs. Hope this story helped.



iddqd
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03 Nov 2007, 11:58 pm

It's not that I want a girl just for the sake of it... Like Clumsiness, I want to love and feel loved, as gay as that sounds. I'm sick and tired of not having someone... Everything else in my life is fine... money, material things, grades... the only things that really bother me are my social status and the fact that I've got no one. Gah, it's like no matter what I do, ever, nothing I can do or say has any affect on anyone at all. I could go down the path of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, and no one would care, just because it's me.

And eye contact is the most frustrating thing in existence... go to my looks thread... I get the whole "eye contact for a fraction of a second" thing pretty much every day, with a few girls, I still have no idea what it all means...



pixie-bell
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04 Nov 2007, 3:51 am

I dated a social zealot at 16, and all I got out of it was him saying to everyone that I was frigid and a 'cold fish' (didn't understand what this was until I asked my Grandmother several years later)...and the guy was right! I am proud to be so...sex, emotions etc. are seriously overrated!