18 Year Old Autistic Daughter Obsessed with 15 Year Old

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It's not illegal to look at porn as a minor lmao. If an adult shows it to a minor porn they would be arrested, but nobody has ever gone to jail for looking at legal porn.

If you know of a police officer/public safety officer who is trained in the area of autism, this might be a good person tot alk with your daughter. She needs to understand the legal ramifications of what could happen due to the age differences. Thinking "jailbait" here, no matter how much is thought otherwise.

There are NO legal ramifications, if the sex is consensual, and it happens in DC. Are they both DC residents?

I guess I should research the statutory-rape law in Virginia and Maryland......

I researched it.

In Virginia: Sex between your daughter and the boy would be illegal, and would be prosecuted under "Promotion of Juvenile Delinquency," which is a class 1 misdemeanor.

In Maryland: Sex between your daughter and the boy would be legal. It is covered under a "Romeo and Juliet" provision.

Have you tried talking with your Daughter about this. Perhaps her inner-self has found someone that she can relate to and that accepts her for her. Maybe she feels like he fills some emotional need, you know like a friend.

The age difference is hogwash. My Wife wasn't even born when I was 18 and we've been together 31 years.

More power to you.

I also think you should talk to your daughter and ask her questions. It might be fun to see things from her perspective.

My mom told me as I was approaching 18 that she did the best she could to raise me and that although I will "make many mistakes later in life that I would learn from them and become a great man". I have made many mistakes and yet became a great man. If I had a daughter who was 18 (autistic or otherwise) and she was interested in dating someone who was 15, there is nothing I can do about that because she is 18 in the eyes of the law and legally an adult. However, if that person is living with me and decides to make an unwise decision by being intimate with a minor, I reserve (1) the right to kick this person out of my house and (2) the right to inform the police if the act took place in a state where having sex with a minor is illegal. If a person is old enough to make a decision by doing something he/she will later regret in life, that person is old enough to live on his/her own (although I can still love that person for a bad decision made).

My wife and I have told our oldest two grandchildren that we will pay for their wedding if they wait until they are 30 and will tell the other when she is old enough to understand. However, my wife and I know that teenagers make mistakes. Teenagers may want to get involved intimately with others, but do not have the "life experience" and are not old enough how to deal with events like this. If a teenager wants to be intimate, said teenager better be prepared to deal with the consequences if said intimacy ends up in a pregnancy.

So, while we are all different in how we would handle a situation like this, this is my $.02.

Coming from an autistic adult's point of view,
Scott

Wow you would ruin your kids life for being with someone a couple of years younger then them? You have the right I suppose, but that's still pretty messed up.

I'm gonna say again that even if this relationship is or becomes illegal, nobody cares about it. If the boy was older then it would be a different story. But I can guarantee you that in cold, hard reality, nobody is going to get in trouble here. Their dating can be allowed or not allowed by their parents, but legally nothing will happen.

I think the implication was that he would 'reserve the right' to seek out legal ramifications depending on the circumstances and severity of the situation. Not that those things are an automatic 'go to jail' card

And tbh, if we look at how the legal system works, there is a high likelihood that even if she did have sex and did get caught, they'd have a hard time prosecuting her simply because she is autistic with an intellectual delay.
Those things are considered a defence in many situations. Not to encourage law-breaking, but some people legitimately don't and can't understand the consequences of their actions

^^ I was wondering the exact same thing. Ran a "find on page" and discovered you'd already raised the point.

So here's a fairly comprehensive link that explains that law ... state by state. There are still penalties, depending, but they are modified or reduced, the record is expunged afterwards, etc. State by state variations.

I'm not advocating for or against anything here; but it is always good to be well informed.

https://legaldictionary.net/romeo-and-juliet-laws/

In lots of states the law will not do anything if the teens are within 3 years of each other. I know because I researched it abit when I was 20 cuz my 1st girlfriend who I met online was 15. I never considered anything more than a friendship with her till she admitted she liked me.

Hello and thanks to all that have responded to the topic.

Thankfully, my daughter seems to be less obsessive about this boy lately. We are fine with her being friends with him and he seems to like her too but emotionally they each aren't ready for a "relationship" although age-wise you would think so. It's more like two twelve years old liking each other if that makes any sense.

Live long and prosper...

AlyssasDad

The relationship would be legal in DC and Maryland. In Maryland, because it is covered under a "Romeo and Juliet" provision.

It would be illegal in Virginia---a Class 1 Misdemeanor.

In my state, it's legal. I looked it up, and did thorough research.

I'm not advocating for the relationship, by the way. I'm just speaking purely about the legal aspects.

Chaperoning might be an idea along with very structured dating until the boy is older. Just don't let them be "alone".
A lot of communication has to happen between parents from both sides as well. Better for the boy to be at your house - you don't know who might be at the boys house - maybe a not so nice person. If they go out, maybe the two moms or two dads can chaperone. You have to keep them both safe - its a dangerous world for NT's not to mention how incredibly dangerous it can be for us who are on the spectrum.

What’s the legal age of consent where you live?

It’s 16 in Canada so she would only have to wait until his next birthday to consider dating while avoiding any legal ramifications.

But if it’s higher, simply tell her that it’s a matter of the law that they can only remain friends until he reaches X age. If they want to explore dating after that, they can. But until then that’s the law - not your rules - the Law.

Seems pretty simple. Maybe she will comprehend & accept this just fine and remain friends with him? And then maybe they’ll just be friends. Or date in the future. Or have a falling out and not even talk to one another anymore. Etc.

You guys realize this thread is more than 2 years old now, right?