What comes next after acceptance?

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AngelRho
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09 Feb 2018, 7:30 am

314pe wrote:
I agree with Boo. And in general, not thinking about a problem rarely fixes it.


Marknis wrote:
Ironically, Bible Belters are the quickest to say "Evuhlooshun is stewpid!" but they act the most Darwinistic out of all humans. They try to be the loudest and most aggressive males they can be in order to get female attention as well as sex.

All humans are animals and as a result darwinistic. It would not be different in other places. The only difference is how that maleness comes out.

Thinking about it is what’s wrecking his life, though. I agree with Boo on lots of things, but Hale’s got it this time. His gottagettagf obsession is creeping girls out.

Better to focus on things within his control and start making life really happen, like hale said basically. That puts you in a position in which the extra benefits such as relationships “just happen.”

I think Mark might find a place to fit in better if he moved elsewhere, but that won’t really fix the problem. Part of it is Mark views people around him as sub-human. Relationships happen faster the less you hate other people. My advice in the past has been if you are stuck somewhere with only one type of girl, pursue who you have available to you. Make her interests your interests. Learn to communicate and share. Make those people and their interests more important to you than your own. And then ACT to show people you love them by doing little things to make them feel important.

Moving away won’t fix the underlying unattractive attitude. Those problems follow you no matter where you go. SOME things will be easier when you escape local culture, but not that one. It will catch up with you. You’ll end up either finding ways to hate people where you move or you’ll become so depressed you’ll give up and hate yourself and end up even more frustrated than you already are.

I’m not saying NOT move. I’m just saying don’t have unrealistic expectations. You do better to just stop hating people.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Feb 2018, 8:43 am

hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ but why you are assuming that he’s in his bedroom depressed and posting on wp all day? We don’t know.


Sometimes I wonder if you just argue on here for the sake of it.



Why else do you think I argue here? To mine bitcoins?



yellowtamarin
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09 Feb 2018, 6:47 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
I concur with hale_bopp.

Last year I took myself off the market. I guess you could call that a form of acceptance of being single, as I took the focus completely away from looking for a partner, and directed it elsewhere. I did a combination of doing stuff I enjoy, and working on improving myself (in this case it was my health/fitness but it could have been job hunting, learning a new skill, etc. etc.). Dating - or looking for dates - was just a thing I'd removed from my repertoire of activities.

No, not really, it's not the same thing for self-esteem: this was your choice - you know that you can get dates or sex again anytime you want.

Due to your gender's advantage (and your bi sexualtiy as well), you just simply need to re-activate your dating profile whether on okc or tinder or any other sh!t and voilà....tons of potential dates. It's like a switch that you turn it off or no depending on your mood. You know this is true no matter how much you and hale_bopp deny it.

The OP isn't off the market by choice, he's off because he's failing to attract women.

Big difference.

Totally different situation.

I didn't take myself off the market because I didn't feel like dating, I took myself off the market because I was getting into a slump. My health was deteriorating and my attitude was taking a hit. I was no longer in the right physical or mental state to put the best me out there and be fully open to accepting a partner into my life. I needed to work on getting myself into a better place rather than turning into some of the people I see on this site - depressed, overly negative, feeling undeserving of love, etc. I was indeed much less "dateable" than I am now that I've taken that time to focus on other things.



hale_bopp
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09 Feb 2018, 11:51 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ but why you are assuming that he’s in his bedroom depressed and posting on wp all day? We don’t know.


Sometimes I wonder if you just argue on here for the sake of it.



Why else do you think I argue here? To mine bitcoins?


Seems a bit sad that you come here to argue and play the whole women vs men game, as opposed to trying to help the op. Get a life.



SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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09 Feb 2018, 11:55 pm

I've found posts on WP to be helpful. I think I was buying into the men vs women thing but it's looking like just toxic nonsense when I take a second look.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Feb 2018, 8:37 am

hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ but why you are assuming that he’s in his bedroom depressed and posting on wp all day? We don’t know.


Sometimes I wonder if you just argue on here for the sake of it.



Why else do you think I argue here? To mine bitcoins?


Seems a bit sad that you come here to argue and play the whole women vs men game, as opposed to trying to help the op. Get a life.


Dramatic much?



SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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10 Feb 2018, 6:28 pm

I try to stay impartial in discussions and just see what they're saying, maybe ask them questions. I feel like there's the potential for learning from almost every person or at least a good majority. And it benefits them to discuss it too since questions/discussion about it could help them understand their experiences more deeply or from a new perspective.


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