Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Rant about being single

Page 3 of 5 [ 74 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

12 Aug 2018, 12:40 am

We're in an odd place right now to be honest. We have this idea about the man chasing, yet, everyone knows that the female is actually the selector. Women are also way more selective than men(this is incredibly well documented).

I think for some men this can feel like being a sales assistant in a clothing store, and in walks this incredibly picky customer, but he won't tell you what he wants or likes. And now you have to run around the store for clothes, to ask him if he like them or not, but he likes none of them.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

12 Aug 2018, 8:47 am

Closet Genious wrote:
We're in an odd place right now to be honest. We have this idea about the man chasing, yet, everyone knows that the female is actually the selector. Women are also way more selective than men(this is incredibly well documented).

I think for some men this can feel like being a sales assistant in a clothing store, and in walks this incredibly picky customer, but he won't tell you what he wants or likes. And now you have to run around the store for clothes, to ask him if he like them or not, but he likes none of them.


How hard is it to figure out that women want the same thing they always have: the best possible mate.

They’re typically going to choose the healthiest/fittest/strongest highest social/economic status mate who’s a provider & protector etc etc. This is not rocket surgery stuff here...


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Babi dwr
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

Joined: 23 Jun 2016
Age: 1945
Gender: Female
Posts: 95
Location: UK

12 Aug 2018, 9:18 am

Well I must be doing it all wrong then as Ive never thought about that 'typical' list you have posted. Its always been about a connection thats difficult to describe, but it never mattered to me about any of those things.



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

12 Aug 2018, 9:18 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
We're in an odd place right now to be honest. We have this idea about the man chasing, yet, everyone knows that the female is actually the selector. Women are also way more selective than men(this is incredibly well documented).

I think for some men this can feel like being a sales assistant in a clothing store, and in walks this incredibly picky customer, but he won't tell you what he wants or likes. And now you have to run around the store for clothes, to ask him if he like them or not, but he likes none of them.


How hard is it to figure out that women want the same thing they always have: the best possible mate.

They’re typically going to choose the healthiest/fittest/strongest highest social/economic status mate who’s a provider & protector etc etc. This is not rocket surgery stuff here...

Well, I'm a woman and I did not marry the healthiest/fittest/strongest/highest SES mate. I didn't even try to date those types. Because, what would we talk about? I looked for guys who shared interests with me and seemed likely to be loyal and loving. The second marriage I picked better than the first, but with both marriages I'm an exception to the "rule" (which I don't see as true) that goldfish stated.


_________________
A finger in every pie.


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

12 Aug 2018, 11:11 am

^^ & ^, Uuh, you're both autistic. Typical NT social rules don’t exactly apply. But in general, the list I posted is a fair representation of what typical women want, and the phrase “best possible mate,” kind of applies to everyone - only your criteria are atypical because you are.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

12 Aug 2018, 12:22 pm

In that case, maybe all the lonely single Aspie guys should make a bigger effort to meet ladies on the spectrum. Just a thought.


_________________
A finger in every pie.


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,031
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

12 Aug 2018, 12:34 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
In that case, maybe all the lonely single Aspie guys should make a bigger effort to meet ladies on the spectrum. Just a thought.


That's ridiculous, the probability of meeting one in any given geographical area is very low.



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

12 Aug 2018, 3:29 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
In that case, maybe all the lonely single Aspie guys should make a bigger effort to meet ladies on the spectrum. Just a thought.


That's ridiculous, the probability of meeting one in any given geographical area is very low.

No, THAT's ridiculous. With technology we have much better chances now to zone in on a person with particular characteristics.


_________________
A finger in every pie.


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,042
Location: Adelaide, Australia

13 Aug 2018, 12:43 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
In that case, maybe all the lonely single Aspie guys should make a bigger effort to meet ladies on the spectrum. Just a thought.


That's ridiculous, the probability of meeting one in any given geographical area is very low.

I've met lots of young women on the spectrum in my area!


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,042
Location: Adelaide, Australia

13 Aug 2018, 12:45 am

BeaArthur wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
We're in an odd place right now to be honest. We have this idea about the man chasing, yet, everyone knows that the female is actually the selector. Women are also way more selective than men(this is incredibly well documented).

I think for some men this can feel like being a sales assistant in a clothing store, and in walks this incredibly picky customer, but he won't tell you what he wants or likes. And now you have to run around the store for clothes, to ask him if he like them or not, but he likes none of them.


How hard is it to figure out that women want the same thing they always have: the best possible mate.

They’re typically going to choose the healthiest/fittest/strongest highest social/economic status mate who’s a provider & protector etc etc. This is not rocket surgery stuff here...

Well, I'm a woman and I did not marry the healthiest/fittest/strongest/highest SES mate. I didn't even try to date those types. Because, what would we talk about? I looked for guys who shared interests with me and seemed likely to be loyal and loving. The second marriage I picked better than the first, but with both marriages I'm an exception to the "rule" (which I don't see as true) that goldfish stated.


Wait so what it mean if I'm dating someone with whom I have almost no shared interest?


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

13 Aug 2018, 7:42 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Wait so what it mean if I'm dating someone with whom I have almost no shared interest?

I can't say, because you're not dating me. Lots of people date someone with whom they have no shared interest. I'm just saying, I'm not one of them.


_________________
A finger in every pie.


Tanker
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2018
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 125
Location: Holland

13 Aug 2018, 8:39 am

Whenever I see a couple walking by or sitting, being cute, I cant help but get a mix of feelings.
1: "aw, cute. i want that" (jealousy)
2:"f**k them and their happiness"(anger)
3: "goddamnit, i'll never have that"(sadness)

anybody else have that or am i just a special kind of crazy? xD



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

13 Aug 2018, 12:08 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
We're in an odd place right now to be honest. We have this idea about the man chasing, yet, everyone knows that the female is actually the selector. Women are also way more selective than men(this is incredibly well documented).

I think for some men this can feel like being a sales assistant in a clothing store, and in walks this incredibly picky customer, but he won't tell you what he wants or likes. And now you have to run around the store for clothes, to ask him if he like them or not, but he likes none of them.


How hard is it to figure out that women want the same thing they always have: the best possible mate.

They’re typically going to choose the healthiest/fittest/strongest highest social/economic status mate who’s a provider & protector etc etc. This is not rocket surgery stuff here...

Well, I'm a woman and I did not marry the healthiest/fittest/strongest/highest SES mate. I didn't even try to date those types. Because, what would we talk about? I looked for guys who shared interests with me and seemed likely to be loyal and loving. The second marriage I picked better than the first, but with both marriages I'm an exception to the "rule" (which I don't see as true) that goldfish stated.


Wait so what it mean if I'm dating someone with whom I have almost no shared interest?


Opposites attract.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Aug 2018, 12:21 pm

Many women are not into the "social-Darwinism" thing.

They don't necessarily seek out the physically "fittest" guy. I've actually known women who are turned off to that type of guy.

I'm not 6 foot 2, 205 lbs. of solid muscle, with only 13 percent body fat. Yet, I've done okay.

I will never reach even to 5 foot 5, no less 6 foot 2. I'll never go below 20% body fat.

The mentality of the beach does not extend to most other places.



AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

13 Aug 2018, 12:32 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
We're in an odd place right now to be honest. We have this idea about the man chasing, yet, everyone knows that the female is actually the selector. Women are also way more selective than men(this is incredibly well documented).

I think for some men this can feel like being a sales assistant in a clothing store, and in walks this incredibly picky customer, but he won't tell you what he wants or likes. And now you have to run around the store for clothes, to ask him if he like them or not, but he likes none of them.


How hard is it to figure out that women want the same thing they always have: the best possible mate.

They’re typically going to choose the healthiest/fittest/strongest highest social/economic status mate who’s a provider & protector etc etc. This is not rocket surgery stuff here...

Well, I'm a woman and I did not marry the healthiest/fittest/strongest/highest SES mate. I didn't even try to date those types. Because, what would we talk about? I looked for guys who shared interests with me and seemed likely to be loyal and loving. The second marriage I picked better than the first, but with both marriages I'm an exception to the "rule" (which I don't see as true) that goldfish stated.


Wait so what it mean if I'm dating someone with whom I have almost no shared interest?

It doesn’t mean anything.

Do you want this person in your life? Yes?

Does she want you in her life?
Yes?

If that is true...

...what other shared interest do you need?



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,042
Location: Adelaide, Australia

13 Aug 2018, 4:20 pm

Tanker wrote:
Whenever I see a couple walking by or sitting, being cute, I cant help but get a mix of feelings.
1: "aw, cute. i want that" (jealousy)
2:"f**k them and their happiness"(anger)
3: "goddamnit, i'll never have that"(sadness)

anybody else have that or am i just a special kind of crazy? xD

I've so been there!


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short