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Why is it so hard for people to be alone?

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SoulcakeDuck
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30 Jun 2018, 7:30 am

hurtloam wrote:
SoulcakeDuck wrote:
That's why you need to find the person who is right for you. Happiness does not run on hope. get out there and communicate your wants and needs. And you'll be found by someone who feels the same.

Honesty goes a long way.


Hell yeah. I've been living years of feeling inadequate and not bring able to fill others needs and for some reason recently i had this conversation with this guy where i honestly told him i like my own space and he was like yeah me too and we just accepted that in each other. It was a relief. First man I've felt like I can be myself with and not be judged. My independence isn't scary, it's a bonus... for the first time ever.


Thats very nice to hear. Both NTs and autists need their space, we all need our space. Keep talking to the guy and get closer, who knows how it will turn out. Best kind of "flirting"/interaction seeking is by just taking and keep it light and soon things will take a playful turn and tone as you get more comfortable with each other.

Don't let misunderstandings deter you or make you anxious in the conversations if it ever happens. You can sometimes lose each other in an exchange but just reconnect with a neutral "hello"/"hi" and youll be back on track talking about other things and how their day was.
I personally hate small talk but if its tied to empathy and interest in their emotional state I dont see it as small talk its a focus on them.


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hurtloam
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30 Jun 2018, 9:36 am

SoulcakeDuck wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SoulcakeDuck wrote:
That's why you need to find the person who is right for you. Happiness does not run on hope. get out there and communicate your wants and needs. And you'll be found by someone who feels the same.

Honesty goes a long way.


Hell yeah. I've been living years of feeling inadequate and not bring able to fill others needs and for some reason recently i had this conversation with this guy where i honestly told him i like my own space and he was like yeah me too and we just accepted that in each other. It was a relief. First man I've felt like I can be myself with and not be judged. My independence isn't scary, it's a bonus... for the first time ever.


Thats very nice to hear. Both NTs and autists need their space, we all need our space. Keep talking to the guy and get closer, who knows how it will turn out. Best kind of "flirting"/interaction seeking is by just taking and keep it light and soon things will take a playful turn and tone as you get more comfortable with each other.

Don't let misunderstandings deter you or make you anxious in the conversations if it ever happens. You can sometimes lose each other in an exchange but just reconnect with a neutral "hello"/"hi" and youll be back on track talking about other things and how their day was.
I personally hate small talk but if its tied to empathy and interest in their emotional state I dont see it as small talk its a focus on them.


This is good advice. Thanks. We had a misunderstanding and my friend was like, "well you have to stick at it or walk away. Only you'll know what to do." This is a bit more detailed ha.