Do you base relationships on sex?

Page 3 of 3 [ 46 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Sahh
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2018
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 23

28 Jun 2018, 2:29 pm

I could never base a relationship on sex. It's a small component of something greater. That said, if I ever did get married, I would never wait, because you can learn a lot about someone through sex. Also, if there is a distinct difference in drive, or interest, it will be a point of contention later on.

On a separate note, who cares who hooks up with whom? There is absolutely nothing wrong with any number of partners or experiences someone chooses to have as long as it's always consensual. I for one, think people are waaaaay too hung up on sex in every conceivable way. Have it, don't have it, who cares? No matter what you choose, have fun, be safe, and find other points of focus in your life! :D



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

28 Jun 2018, 6:22 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
Fwb right is not automatically FB....but if you're compatible than why not be a relationship?

Compatible in what way? I don't base my relationship on sex, so sexual compatibility is not enough. And just being able to be friends with someone is not enough either - oh that it were! It would make finding a partner sooo much easier.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

29 Jun 2018, 3:14 am

Not at all.

If it’s a good match, the sex will come with it.

My priorities are someone aligned with my political stance, religious stance, intelligence and moralistic stance.

If those four things match + physical attraction then we’re good to go. You have to be attracted to them. But it’s not all about looks or sex.



Sabreclaw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Dec 2015
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,971

29 Jun 2018, 4:47 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And historyGal, if men over 20 don’t acquire real sexual experience enough and stay dry for long years (porn and masturbation do not count at all), they WILL develop ED and they WILL have low T.


Well I'm basically f****d then. Yay.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,085
Location: Adelaide, Australia

29 Jun 2018, 4:57 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And historyGal, if men over 20 don’t acquire real sexual experience enough and stay dry for long years (porn and masturbation do not count at all), they WILL develop ED and they WILL have low T.


Well I'm basically f****d then. Yay.


No you're not f****d. I didn't acquire sexual experience until my late 20s and I didn't have ED.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

29 Jun 2018, 2:46 pm

100%. That's the whole point of short term relationships.. aka hookups. The only depth I'm interested in in a relationship is a little over 7".


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

30 Jun 2018, 8:12 am

FWB is a nice polite term for a relationship based on sex. You guys are right that it doesn't have enough going for it to be a real relationship. You just use each other until something better comes along.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

30 Jun 2018, 8:16 am

HistoryGal wrote:
FWB is a nice polite term for a relationship based on sex. You guys are right that it doesn't have enough going for it to be a real relationship. You just use each other until something better comes along.


Well, this is all kinds of judgey.

Relationships don't even have to be good. For example, the USA has a rocky relationship with Canada and the rest of it's allies and trade partners right now. It's/they are still relationship(s). Just because it's not a traditional LTR doesn't mean it isn't a type of relationship. It's appropriately labeled as FWB. "Using each other," may be how YOU perceive it, but that isn't necessarily the case. FWB works very well for some people & no one gets "used," or hurt. For others, maybe things are dicey. Regardless, it's pretty judgemental of you to say the generalized negative things about FWB relationships that you just did.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,096
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

30 Jun 2018, 9:50 am

goldfish21 wrote:
100%. That's the whole point of short term relationships.. aka hookups. The only depth I'm interested in in a relationship is a little over 7".



That’s pretty deep.



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

30 Jun 2018, 11:25 am

It's not budget....it's true. Both are using one another consentually. Not breaking any laws. If both parties are ok with having sex without the trappings of a relationship than so be it.

Is it a relationship? On a very shallow sense yes. However there is NO commitment or requirements to be exclusive in most FWB.



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

30 Jun 2018, 11:26 am

Oops, autocorrect. Judgey not budget



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

30 Jun 2018, 11:29 am

However there is another take on fwb. We have friends for sports activities, movie and opera, gourmet food and wine, camping etc.....so sex is another activity in which we can have a friend for as well if we are so inclined.



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

30 Jun 2018, 6:28 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
However there is another take on fwb. We have friends for sports activities, movie and opera, gourmet food and wine, camping etc.....so sex is another activity in which we can have a friend for as well if we are so inclined.

True, also these things don't have to be mutually exclusive. You can have a friend you like to go camping with and sleep with. Or have philosophical chats with and sleep with. Or play tennis with, support through the hard times, talk s**t with and sleep with. It can be any type of friendship that includes having sex together but isn't a relationship.

I've never based a FWB friendship on sex. I've based it on friendship. Otherwise I'd term it SWF - 'sex, with friendship', rather than 'friends, with benefits'. I don't even really like the "benefits" term cos playing tennis together is a benefit the same as having sex is!



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

30 Jun 2018, 8:20 pm

Either way sex is just a recreational activity that you get a partner for without a commitment even if you combine it with another activity. You just don't want that person as a romantic partner.