Dr. Romie: more than half of married women have a backup man

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Spiderpig
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01 Aug 2018, 6:50 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

You cannot oblige your backup not to date, but if you choose someone chronically single and lonely (It's so easy to find a male in that category nowadays), you can string him along with some communication every where, keeping his hopes up -he may be useful one day in case you lose your current partner.

In fact, he can be useful meanwhile in other ways. Don't let him take his continued backup-man status for granted.

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01 Aug 2018, 6:54 am

BobaTea wrote:

There are women always around you (and all the other men in the world), are they purely a matter of a personal choice you make? A stranger(s)? No.

edit: I'm tired and skimmed over your post. Yes, men are always around. As are women. I'm just saying that a backup man isn't necessary for a woman to have, as she can wait and be single for a while and maybe end up with someone she likes way into the future.

Women are sometimes around, but we know better than to approach them.

Closet Genious
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01 Aug 2018, 3:01 pm

Another reason to not commit.

XFilesGeek
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01 Aug 2018, 3:51 pm

RainbowUnion wrote:

Monogamy is unnatural for primates, humans included. Unfortunately it is the ideal of an ancient tribal philosophy from the Middle Eastern bronze age. A tribal philosophy that also viewed slavery as perfectly OK, women as property, and pronounced the punishment of death for blasphemy (a victimless crime if ever there was one) and "witchcraft."

Unfortunately the repulsive book on which this philosophy was based is viewed as Gods word by many.

^ This.

At best, humans practice "serial monogamy." The only primate that I know of that is "monogamous" are gibbons, but researches have observed them sneaking off to have flings.

And, as I've repeated stated, women, by virtue of both biology and culture, are more likely than men to take a practical approach to love/dating.

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Peacesells
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01 Aug 2018, 4:16 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

At best, humans practice "serial monogamy."

At best? Seriously?

Anyway I am convinced that in the next 50-70 years people will start advocating for poligamy (but I don't mean just with multiple wives) and in the end it will eventually spread. Mark my words.

The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Aug 2018, 4:28 pm

Peacesells wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

At best, humans practice "serial monogamy."

I believe you; humans will go back to their natural state in mating.

Monogamy in humans was mostly a Christian concept.

Chronos
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01 Aug 2018, 4:39 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ Yeah, hence why I am advising sweetleaf to get one.

You cannot oblige your backup not to date, but if you choose someone chronically single and lonely (It's so easy to find a male in that category nowadays), you can string him along with some communication every where, keeping his hopes up -he may be useful one day in case you lose your current partner.

Don't many men themselves tether themselves to a woman in the hopes of obe day dating her? Isn't this what men who choose to remain in the "friend zone" do? And if he knows she is married isn't this what he is doing? It seems like this may be a very mutual phenomena.

As for impact on her husband, if it's just a thought it's not much different from him thinking of women he would like to have sex with...unless he is religious in which case his thought is a sin and hers isn't.

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01 Aug 2018, 8:44 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

SilverStar wrote:

This is probably accurate. I have noticed that some women have a pool of potential romantic partners hanging around, and many tend to start "window shopping", once they start having problems in their relationship. Do you ever wonder how they get into new relationships so fast? This is also the case for guys, as well, although I don't think it happens as often.

Honestly, I noticed that a lot of times among the people I know....typically when a guy I know loses a relationship he usually remain single for long time before entering a new one, but when a woman loses a relationship she gets a new one in mere weeks or months.

There is this girl I went to school with. She has been married up until a few weeks ago, when her divorce was finalized. It hasn't been a full two weeks, and she is already in a new relationship (with an old "guy friend", nonetheless). I'm pretty sure he was a backup plan.

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01 Aug 2018, 8:47 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:

That's right, women are eeevil and insane and must be stripped of their rights. :roll:

Evil and insane...maybe. Manipulative and cunning...absolutely.

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01 Aug 2018, 9:02 pm

How selfish can people be? Window shopping when you are married? If you're doing that that s**t, you got already one foot out the door of your marriage.

Peacesells
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02 Aug 2018, 6:56 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

At best, humans practice "serial monogamy."

I believe you; humans will go back to their natural state in mating.

Monogamy in humans was mostly a Christian concept.

Hope I die before y'all manage to get back to your beloved monkey sh*t.

The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Aug 2018, 7:00 am

Peacesells wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

At best, humans practice "serial monogamy."

I believe you; humans will go back to their natural state in mating.

Monogamy in humans was mostly a Christian concept.

Hope I die before y'all manage to get back to your beloved monkey sh*t.

I am not advocating it; I was also raised in a monogamous culture (yes, polygyny is extremely rare among Muslim cultures and frowned upon by women).

SilverStar
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02 Aug 2018, 7:40 pm

HistoryGal wrote:

How selfish can people be? Window shopping when you are married? If you're doing that that s**t, you got already one foot out the door of your marriage.

I see this all the time. I personally believe you should at least try to fix things in your relationship first. If it can't be fixed, then you should end it. Only then start looking for someone else.

XFilesGeek
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03 Aug 2018, 9:37 am

Peacesells wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

At best, humans practice "serial monogamy."

I believe you; humans will go back to their natural state in mating.

Monogamy in humans was mostly a Christian concept.

Hope I die before y'all manage to get back to your beloved monkey sh*t.

I believe individual humans can be monogamous, but, as a species, we're more prone towards playing the field.

kraftiekortie
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03 Aug 2018, 9:39 am

I feel like it's "natural" for most people to "play the field."

But many people feel a sense of security in monogamy. Many times, it stabilizes people in a psychological sense.

It seems as if woman, on average, find more security and delight in monogamous relationships than men. But this is only an "average." It does not apply to individual people.

Some women like to play around with the whole bar; some men have found their love of their lives in childhood--and are still married to that person.

green0star
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03 Aug 2018, 5:03 pm

If you gotta do all that, then you should just stay single ...

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