More Thought on Incels.

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Stop it with the "incel" crap. It's not welcome on WP.

Whenever I hear somebody complain that men want to dominate or be in charge of women, or that they see women as sex objects, I stop reading. Clearly, none of that junk is relevant to autistics. I doubt it is relevant for any considerable number of men in general either. Let's face it. If you are a dominant male, you fit perfectly into today's dating culture and thus have no problem finding women. Which means it is all junk when applied to NDs.

When I think of incels, I think of men that are misogynistic, horny and super perverted freaks that like raping any woman who doesn't sleep with them and treating women like property and sex objects. Hate inches. They're the worst.

Incels don't necessary have to be people who are sexist/misogynistic against women.When I think of incels,I think of people who are involuntary single because no woman likes them. You could say incel means a similar definition as involuntary celibate,but the only difference is that involuntary celibate involves just the lack of sex,while incel includes being considered undateable and disliked by women,which is the case with me. Everyone pretty much believes that I'm undateable and worthless to women,so I would qualify as a incel.

Last edited by rick42 on 28 Mar 2020, 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

But why would you say that? What makes you “undatable”?

Well most if not all people think I'm not good enough be with any woman due my social awareness alone and usually social awareness is seen as major red flag for men.I also have other negative qualities that would would me undateable such as I not charismatic,my personally is seen as boring, not athletic/very good looking,rarely make people laugh with me,don't have a car,don't have any experience dating(starts to matter a lot after a certain age,),seen as shy,etc .Overall I have too much going against me and will have even more things going against me with the cornavirus situation. Even my family thinks I'm undateable which is why I don't make much of a effort to date anymore.

I don’t have many of the qualities you mentioned—yet I’ve been with quite a few women.

That picture is of me. I’m short, chubby, uncharismatic, owned no car until age 51, couldn’t drive until age 37. Not witty. Not funny. Dull. Into my own thing.

I disagree. You can have the desire to do something even if you don't possess the skills to do it.

I was getting to know a very shy aspie guy in a dating sense, but he turned out to be someone who really wanted to be in control. I don't like being controlled. You would never have guessed that's how he was from his outward appearance. He seemed shy, awkward and unassuming, but he is really cold, haughty and arrogant. Especially when he can't be bothered putting on a nice act anymore.

I’m 5’10”, skinny, my nose veers off to one side, my teeth are crooked and all mismatched sizes, my chins small and weak, I both stammer and stutter when anxious: and even when not anxious my voice is so quiet and deep most folks don’t notice I’m talking at all. I also can talk for hours when I’m on a roll... people have literally fallen asleep whilst I’m talking!
If I’m not overwhelmed by an emotion I’m “unreadable”: which is apparently quite disturbing.
Never learnt to drive, never held down a full time job, never successfully approached a woman in my life.
Several women have taken me home however, and I’m married.
(And yes, she proposed)

Good point hurtloam.
Wholeheartedly agree.

Unfortunately, all other topics get ignored on here.

Stop right there. You do not know what all people think. You do not even know what most people think. And unless someone actually tells they think you are boring, shy, or undateable, you will never know that as a fact, either.

Stop worrying about what other people think -- or what you only imagine they think -- because that's just an excuse.

You're actually married despite not holding a full time job? Wow,you are one lucky dude.I actually had a full time job once and I still couldn't even get women to like me as a friend,let alone be a relationship with them. From from my previous experiences,a man being social awkward is huge turn off to women.Do women in your area accept your social awkwardness? Would women see a you as moocher since you accept women to drive you home?

So I'm "just imaging" that people see me as undateable,despite of my experiences that proved otherwise. I have asked many women out for dates over the years and not a single one wanted to date me due to for various of reasons. Women have told me that I was boring,creepy,rude,unworthy,etc .Women have told me that they won't date a man who isn't charismatic and doesn't have a car.Women also called me broke and a moocher for not owning a car. I have asked family members for dating advice and they said"you're not good enough to be with a woman or why would women date someone like you ".

Last edited by rick42 on 28 Mar 2020, 3:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

They’re talking garbage to you.

I’m a self-employed gardener, so full time in summer, part time in spring & autumn and no time in winter: and I keep the house, so it’s not like I don’t earn, and I fill my days off with useful things of value to at least one other person.
Oh, my wife’s a painter & decorator: I help out with the things like wallpaper stripping and other prep work if I’ve got nothing else on or it’s a big job.
I had a full time job in a building design office after uni... I couldn’t cope with it, and that was one the factors that drove me to the lowest point in my life.
I was full of self-pity and self-hatred when I was younger (not that I was aware of that at the time), after my lowest point, and my mental/psychological recovery that disappeared: a lot of people helped me unexpectedly, I learnt that just because I can’t always see someone’s care and affection for me doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
Why bring that up? Because both of those are deeply unattractive attitudes that the incel subculture encourages, it’s actively toxic and psychologically damaging for every poor fool caught up in it.
I walk mostly, or take the bus if I’m going over a mile (or a train for one customer): with my big 50 litre rucksack full of tools, waterproofs, tea & sandwiches.
Only times I’ve had lifts is when I’ve needed to bring building supplies on site.

Actual grown-ups care more about whether you’re making an honest effort than if you are a “success”.

Yep. Both men and women.