“I’m looking for men who aren’t trash” what’s that mean?

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Key words in this post are "later" and "future".
Sly, don't worry about any of that. If the opportunity to get yourself a girlfriend arises, just take it. If it breaks down in a matter of weeks or even days then at least you've had the experience and you can learn something from it.

Most do, yes. But you have that problem anyway. Most seem to want something you're not.
I'm not saying you have to date ambitious women and I don't think they're the best option for you.
But I know a very ambitious woman who was looking for a man less ambitious than her because she wanted to have children and wanted to focus on her career but didn't want her future children to feel unloved.
I know another one who only ever got As at school and university and became a doctor. She is married to an unemployed man from abroad who may only stay in this country because they married and they have one child now(though she has very low self esteem because no matter how hard she tried her mother would always put her down and nothing was ever good enough for her and she may not feel good enough for her partner unless she is "better" in several ways than him).
All I'm saying is not all (albeit most) ambitious women are looking for someone similar to themselves. That said, someone similar to yourself would probably be better for you anyway.

You can't make sure a relationship won't fall apart and some people feel resentment for their ex-partners no matter what.
If they buy you a birthday gift and you say "No, I don't take gifts from you", they may feel disgruntled too. In that case it's better to talk about this before anyone's birthday and agree to not buy each other expensive gifts - like that you won't get anything more expensive than you can afford to give her.
You don't need to accept rides always but sometimes it could be in both of your best interest if you do accept. If you want to do something together and you can't get there by public transport or you visit her and stay till it's too late for public transport your alternatives are not going there, accepting a ride, or staying at her place over night (or borrowing your sister's car). Constantly "No I won't, no I can't" could just be more frustrating for your partner than if you accept a ride once in a while.
If you eat any of her food at her place and fear she may perceive this as an imbalance in your relationship maybe buy her her favorite chocolates or whatever she likes next time you see her (unless she more often eats your food than you eat hers anyway).

It's not all black and white. You can not only always accept rides or never and the ideal choice may not be to pick one extreme.

People are always saying guys who do what you say are parisites and losers.
No thanks I’m mooch.
I won’t mooch off anyone. I may need government benefits but I refuse to been seen as mooching off a gf. As stated I won’t go to her place. A long term relationship is not possible for me others ah e made that very clear. Marriage is never going happen

Most I can hope for is a month at most.

Just taking one ride is all it takes for a woman to feel like a taxi apparently. I’ve seen how women here have described such men. The resentutney habe the hatred they have for them.

Most women ecxpect gifts and for dinners to be paid by the guy.
I just have to live in their world. I was once naive but this site cleared that up

She hasn’t messaged me back so she clearly realized her mistake.

In that case anyone who wants a long term relationship would have a very real, non shallow reason to reject you (albeit I suspect it's a reason they don't know about). Late 20s or 30s woman who wants to eventually get married and have children would feel like they're wasting their time and loosing their chance to get what they want if they started relationships with men who exclude long term relationships as a possibility.
Also, if you refuse to go to her place and your family is at your place, how exactly would sex be possible? You said in another thread that you would not enter a sexless relationship. Does it really make sense then to make the logistics of having sex as complicated as possible?


If she has severe borderline personality disorder or something like that she may feel like you're taking advantage of her and hate you just because of that one ride she gave you. Otherwise she won't. This is not sane behavior and not how any sane minds work.
I'm also quite sure that most women who complain about having to give their boyfriends rides don't talk about literally once giving him one ride.
Many would get annoyed if he constantly demands her to give him rides. Some would already dislike it if it was occasionally. But getting furious and hateful over giving someone one ride just isn't sane and it's not how most people (including women) feel about it. Giving someone a ride once or on rare occasion can also be necessary if both have a car and a drivers license.

Again, not everything is always black or white and whether accepting rides would be a problem would need to be decide on an individual basis.

It really makes me wonder what you hope to gain by getting a girlfriend though. If they're all selfish, exploit you and never give anything back, how could getting one possibly improve your happiness?

Truth to be told though, I have never seen any men in my life complaining about giving rides to their women, and they are often the ones who do it.
This is something I have seen it only coming from women on the internet.

Long before the OP explained, why did everyone assume a woman said it?

Because we know Sly

No mental health issues, no disabilities, must have a good secure job, have a car and definitely no Aspergers or Autism.

Simply put, a man who is kind and decent, not someone who is mean or a betrayer.

True, it's more common for men to give rides to women than the other way round and they're less likely to complain if they have to do it frequently.
Even so what sly describes sounds more like sabotaging a potential relationship than like trying not to be a mooch. After all he extends not taking anything to birthday presents and to visiting her at her home and not just to accepting rides.

Those posters here said ever giving their man a ride was bad, same with hm eating their food.
And there’s tons of YouTube videos about how men who take gifts from their woman aren’t a real man’s and are a mooch.

That’s not real life.

Women like to cook for men.

Women like giving men gifts sometimes. Why would one refuse a gift?

Women might not like giving rides to men...but some don’t mint—especially if the man pays for gas.

My son is in his early forties and does not drive. He learned how, failed his practical test and never tried again. He lived in a large city and took the bus or subway. His long term girlfriend didn’t drive either. He’s married now and his wife has a car and drives them both when they go out. They have no issue with it.

I only remember one poster here complaining about having to give their boyfriend rides and she did not mean that she had to do it only once and that once was a huge issue. There may have been others whom I didn't see or don't remember who actually meant once already is a huge problem for them. But that's not normal. (Maybe if it's on the first date it'd be a problem for many sane ones too but not once they're actually in a relationship)
It also doesn't matter if there's tons of YouTube videos that say accepting gifts is bad. That only means that people who think it is exist, not that every woman thinks like that and not that it is the majority.
Typically rejecting a birthday present is seen as rude and accepting it is not. If you do not want the hypothetical girlfriend to buy you any birthday present you should at least tell her beforehand but don't expect her to be delighted if she's trying to give it to you and you reject it.
Should you ever get a girlfriend of course it'd be a good idea to apply some common sense to the situation and not expect things from her that are unreasonable or she's likely to mind, but if you judge her by a worst case scenario rather than by her own personality you'd not do your relationship and its duration any favor either.

Kraftie and Anne bring up some good points.

Some women maybe. Most I’ve talked to on dating sites don’t like cooking.

But if man accepts he’s seen as mooching or taking advantage of her , of being a parisite