Don't put women on a pedestal

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Joined: 11 Aug 2015
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16 Dec 2018, 11:25 pm

sly279 wrote:

Maybe I should try going to eat alone or to movies alone.
I don’t go cause I don’t want people saying I’m a loser since I’m alone on what is date activities
I could have gotten a $20 steak dinner at my favorite place for $7 but I’d didnt go

Take a book or newspaper to read while you are waiting for your food. People will think you are an intellectual!

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kraftiekortie
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16 Dec 2018, 11:36 pm

I used to eat out alone quite often when I was single.

I would bring a newspaper, and do the crossword puzzle.

hurtloam
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17 Dec 2018, 3:13 am

Look. My point was women don't want to be mooned at for months. Grow some balls and ask them out or move on.

Or follow rdos advice and have an imaginary relationship in your head. But watch her move on to someone who actually wants to spend time with her

rdos
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17 Dec 2018, 3:49 am

hurtloam wrote:

It shouldn't be completely imaginary, but a component of imagination is good. After all, it doesn't hurt anybody to use their fantasy. If she really enjoys it and reciprocates in some way, then she won't move on. If the guy misinterprets the situation and she really does move on, then so should he.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Dec 2018, 4:43 am

How one can grow some balls?

Planting tomatoes?

sly279
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17 Dec 2018, 5:10 am

hurtloam wrote:

Women don’t want me to approach them or ask them out.
I respect their wishes. I’ve never had a woman flirt with me or show interest in me.
It’s always been me misunderstanding and they tell me no they didn’t like me.
Would you want to be approached by a guy you find unattractive and have no interest in or would you consider it harassing?

I don’t want to harass women and since I’m worthless for dating and ugly that’s all me making a move is to women.

The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Dec 2018, 5:24 am

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

He has the right to reject, he has the right to not wanting to go with you tête-à-tête.

Yes of course. But I really thought this one liked me.

They don't call them crushes for nothing, I'll say that much. My recommendation for you would be to try being more emotionally reserved regarding crushes, keeping in mind that they may well not have the same feelings for you as you do for them. Only allow yourself to feel anything for them when you're sure beyond a reasonable doubt that they are into you. Doing so before then is only setting yourself up for disappointment.

rdos
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17 Dec 2018, 5:39 am

sly279 wrote:

It’s always been me misunderstanding and they tell me no they didn’t like me.

You cannot ask a woman if her flirting with you was real or not. You simply have to conclude it is real if she reciprocated in some way. If you take the next step and talk to her, then she might not like that you take that step, think it was "for fun" only, or actually like to advance things. None of those responses are relevant to if she enjoyed flirting with you or not.

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17 Dec 2018, 6:48 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

He has the right to reject, he has the right to not wanting to go with you tête-à-tête.

Yes of course. But I really thought this one liked me.

The weird thing is though that they seem to be into me. You can tell who has no interest at all and not to bother them, but when they start taking an interest in you it seems like things are going places.

Are you saying no one I've ever known has ever been interests in me apart from those 2 guys 10 years ago who actually made it clear.

Well that's depressing. That 2 in the space of 20 years.

rdos
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17 Dec 2018, 7:11 am

hurtloam wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

He has the right to reject, he has the right to not wanting to go with you tête-à-tête.

Yes of course. But I really thought this one liked me.

I think what applies to women applies to men too, meaning that discussing with a man if he had an interest in you is not reliable.

The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Dec 2018, 7:18 am

hurtloam wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

He has the right to reject, he has the right to not wanting to go with you tête-à-tête.

Yes of course. But I really thought this one liked me.

No Hurtloam, that's not what I'm saying at all. Guys can still be interested in you without making it clear. My point is it's smarter to be emotionally reserved and assume the worst but hope for the best until such a time that you have evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that they are interested. For me, they "seem" interested isn't good enough. In my mind, you need to be very sure that they're interested and at least be able to point to something they've said or done that has no other explanation than it goes beyond the realm of friendship. Even if they tell you you're cute, pretty, etc I would still advise maintaining a healthy emotional detachment until you're so damn sure they like you that you're willing to risk getting emotionally invested. Ideally I'd say hold back on the emotional investment until they ask you out, and even then, proceed with caution. Maybe I've just been hurt by too much unrequited love, but I stopped myself having crushes when I was 16 and haven't had my heart broken anywhere near as badly since.

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17 Dec 2018, 7:30 am

Nah. I'm not that kind of a person.

It's the rejection that hurts not the unrequited love. It's the being deemed unworthy and not good enough that hurts.

Its the being 37 and still yet again mot being wanted tgat hurts.

It's the realising that it's never gonna happen for me tgat hurts.

Does my actually matter how much i like the guy. It will still hurt tgat I'm not deemed enough ... again.

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17 Dec 2018, 7:49 am

Maybe your darling is just shy

....or he really sees snakes in your hair.

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17 Dec 2018, 10:45 am

Shinku Tora wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

Maybe you would learn some sympathy if every single time you took a chance, you were abandoned without a word.

Yes, that has happened to me. Every chance I've taken I've been knocked back.

That's what's so frustrating. I feel like I'm always doing the legwork. And I get nothing back.

sly279
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17 Dec 2018, 2:17 pm

rdos wrote:

sly279 wrote:

It’s always been me misunderstanding and they tell me no they didn’t like me.

I saw flirting where there was non.
Just women being nice.

sly279
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17 Dec 2018, 2:20 pm

hurtloam wrote:

I feel the same way.
Hugs

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