I'm 21. Feel like I'm never going to get a girlfriend.
AnonymousAnonymous
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Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,762
Location: Portland, Oregon
Northeastern292
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Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,159
Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills
In all due time. My recommendation is get involved in social activities. Visit local museums, delve into online dating. Even if you don't take it seriously enjoy meeting people. I met my better half on OkCupid by accident. Didn't think I would meet another Aspie on there.
If it makes you feel any better, me and Tina Fey both lost our virginities at the age of 24.
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
First off, life is a very long time. At 21 you're just getting started. It's normal to feel frustrated, but don't let your thoughts turn into "never ever," or "now or never," or any other all or nothing type thinking. You might meet someone soon, or maybe not for quite some time, but filling your own head with negative thoughts about never having a girlfriend is a sure fire way to help fulfil that prophecy.
Second, as has been pointed out to others.. you don't "look for," or "find," a girlfriend as if she's a lost puppy to be found. You attract one. It sounds like you're already on a good roll with physical exercise to keep in shape. Back it up with a healthy diet. If your mental health is a constraint (depression, anxiety etc) do what works for you to work on those things. If you find yourself isolating playing video games or indulging in a special interest far too much, force yourself to get out of your comfort zone and out into the world. Do you, though. Just be happy doing the things you enjoy and someday someone will take notice of you in your smiley good vibe glory - far more effective than hanging out in a public place looking mopey because you're single.. that's how you'll stay that way. The old saying rings true.. you'll find what you're looking for when you stop looking. Focus on yourself & making yourself ever more attractive. Physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, skills wise, aesthetically with the little things like hygiene, grooming, clothing etc.
If you're at a bit of a loss of what things to focus on in terms of being perceived as a "real man," worthy of others' attention, I recommend reading a simple book I read once (that was an amazon recommendation when I was buying a different book entirely) called "The Way of Men," by Jack Donovan. It's pretty simple stuff, however, Some people on the spectrum truly do need the contents of this book spelled out for them clearly in black & white in order to "get," these things. The book isn't much about attracting women so much as it is about "how to be a man," and fit into society, be chosen & respected by others/peers, and to get along well with other men or groups of men and people. In turn, the things that make a man respectable & desirable as a coworker, teammate, or friend by other men, are also mostly things that women are attracted to in a man. The book is Not about appearance whatsoever. It's about actions and behaviours, things you learn and do, what makes you a valuable member of society or any group. Plenty of good advice about personal responsibility, growth & development. http://www.jack-donovan.com/axis/books/the-way-of-men
Also, as a gay man who's seen plenty of male genitals both in private and public (nude beach) I can tell you with certainty that penis size is not nearly as important a factor as you likely think it is. Sure, it's true that in general for initial sexual attraction a larger size is typically preferred, but it's nowhere near as important as guys with smaller dicks think it is in their own minds. There's a very wide range of sizes and shapes, and I can think of tons of attractive guys (physically and otherwise, i.e. personality) who have below average sized penises. Also, it's fact that most women don't orgasm from penile sex, so oral/digital stimulation is usually better for them anyways. Annnnnd women are far more emotionally attracted to males than males are attracted to others - so appearance, including that of dick size, is less important to many women than who a guy is, what he's like, how he behaves and communicates etc. It's far more about the "whole package," than just your package.
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