The super confusing “date”...

Post Reply New Topic

It's pouring for me, can't I have a break...? Can I? Jeez...but the opportunities are popping up.

There are two very plausible prospects: JN and SN, I prefer JN over SN

JN:
Pros:
- She's 31 years
- She's very humorous.
- Into me physically
- A gamer, and little geeky
- Into animes
- She hates loud and crowded places
- She loves indoor activities.
- Totally nonreligious
- She hates fancy dates, and prefers "TV dates and cuddling" as she described it.
- She's little immature for her age, but mature in conversations.
- She looks like a next door girl, totally makeup-less.
- I knew her 3 weeks and so.

Cons:
- She's a single mom, with 2 kids (my cheating ex was a single mom too).
- Little addict to online gaming.

Red flags:
- She's also seeing a guy, another "prospect" , in a phase of "getting-to-him", and she's still undecided whether to go for me or him, but she saw him for more times than me
- That other "prospect" she is seeing is a very devout Muslim, almost fanatic, he believes in BS stuff like "It's ok to have a premarital sex with a non-Muslim woman while it's haram with a Muslim one"; I told her this is an ISIS-like BS mentality as he sees her as inferior (since she's Christian), yet she's still communicating with him.

------------------------------------
SN:
Pros:
- Humorous
- Very into me physically
- Very gorgeous and hot
- Childless
- Has less emotional baggage.
- Into nature, sea and hiking

Cons:
- I still know very little about her.
- She's 25. age gap.
- Very gorgeous and hot (yes, this is a con too, in my experience such model-lookalikes are too non-humble)
- I feel her attraction to me is bit shallow.

Red flag:
- She's more into dinner type of dates.


Decisions.....Decisions..... none is a 3rd option too.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 07 Feb 2019, 3:38 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Wow, Boo, where do you meet all these women?

Why are you putting yourself up for a rebound relationship?

Which do you see it as a reboud relationship? are you talking about my last post or the thread?

The thread, it seems so recent that you and your ex split.

They both don't sound very appealing.

First one, in my opinion important red flag is: she is a mom of 2 and at the same time online gaming addict and immature.
Personally I have a bad feeling with single mothers because it can hint to problems like impulse control, emotional problems, attachment issues. It doesn't have to be that way but it makes me feel suspicious when someone has 2 kids and ended up alone with them.
I would also not want to partake in raising children that are not my own but that's up to you.
For me the biggest problem is all this together sounds like she might be an irresponsible person who does not have her life together.
It's possible that none of this applies, and I don't want to give you advice that would lead to you missing a good opportunity, but I would look more into how responsible she is and if you like the family dynamic.

The second one sounds like a player. Hot girls always have a long list of suitors. It's normal to be hopeful, but I expect not much beyond free meals for her. Maybe sex, but even then I doubt she is in the mood to commit long term.

I want to ask, how do you know that they are into you physically? Did they just tell you or how do you know?

I also agree with Amity. It seems like you're looking for a quick replacement. The problem is that you didn't really have the time to work through the issues you've had with your ex and it really is a problem.

Frankly, my ex replaced me as if I am some dirty underwear - she doesn’t deserve that I dedicate a grief period for her.

Yeah but taking it too fast now makes the scheme more likely to repeat.
Give your brain time to process the red flags that may have always been there. Knowledge is power.

You got it backwards. It's a time for yourself to sort yourself out.

Just came back from a date with SN (double date, with her sister and sister’s bf), I dunno.... I did most of the talk, she was too shy and talked very little.
She also turned out taller than me with her super high heels, I could see on her face the disappointment.
Also hinted I look a playboy, Meh.
Overall, it was boring; no chemistry.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 09 Feb 2019, 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That happens sometimes...and it’s nobody’s fault.

Yeah, that’s the point of date after all.

This SN woman is super weird, she texted me “Call me”, I did so and she declined the call, without an apology or explanation text afterward.

/facepalm.

To be fair, she doesn't sound the case at all, she is way more shy than the disco girl in the OP.

She even said she hates dancing and despises alcohol.

But the date with her was super weird and dry:
- Like when I was sitting next to her on the dinner table, with her sister and the sister's bf, she tilted her head in a way that her hair covers almost the entire side of her face closer to me, so when I was talking to her, I was talking to....hair, she replies in the same way without changing a motion, as if she doesn't want to show her eyes at all. She stayed like that all during dinner.

- Her sister, who's older, very extrovert and totally opposite to her, was encouraging me to hold her hand while walking, but her body language was totally non-receptive and uncomfortable, so I didn't even attempt to do so. Actually, she was keeping a certain distance all the time.

- The only moments she sounded more at ease is when she showed me some funny videos on her phone, this is the only instance when she talked in ease and got close (distance wise) to me but it lasted very short.

- She refused to eat anything bit 'unusual' on the dinner table, which had a variety of mini dishes. She only ate a half grilled fish and tabbouleh, and she didn't even like the latter because it doesn't taste like an exact homemade.

- She is very expressionless overall, her sister mentioned that even if when she(SN) is sad, jealous, or happy, she barely shows any facial expression. And she was like 'why stressing myself with emotions?' , she said it in a very robotic way.

- Her sister mentioned she dragged her two weekends ago to same disco I went with that girl mentioned in the OP (the first date)! and they did remember me because they saw me and my "date" helping a drunk friend who was vomiting. And I did remember seeing SN (before I know her) sitting in the middle there, not engaging with anyone, no drink was in her hand, she was remarkably the most person who seemed not fit in the whole ambiance, when I asked if she was the one who was sitting in the middle table just sitting and doing nothing, she confirmed.
She said she finds the place boring but her sister always drags her to it. This is when she commented I am a "Playboy" because she remembered seeing me with that girl, who was was acting so affectionate back then, but then I explained to her what really happened on the 2nd date and she was like 'O really'.



Yes, they told me so, SN told me I am too handsome.

SN sounds like a good girl for me. But I'm weird. And married.

On paper she is, but she didn't sound to like me much. Actually, not at all.

Also the fact that she texted me 'Call me' then declined the call tells me that this is a very difficult person to deal with.