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Can't stop thinking about an Asperger's girl at work...

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cyberdad
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26 May 2019, 6:18 am

SnPx wrote:
I do agree though. It's a lot to throw away for both me and R for what may end up being a short relationship.
My impression is that ASD/ASD relationships are usually unstable. Both R and I are impulsive and unstable and I'm sure our relationship would be explosive


I think you have kind of answered your own question. I can tell you that a long term relationship with somebody who understands, loves and accepts you (i.e. your current GF) is better than a short term roller coaster ride with somebody you perceive as more exciting and in tune with your feelings (R).

Do you mind sharing what about R you find you are infatuated about? what is it about her that makes her worth obsessing about? Is R more attractive than your GF? more vivacious? do you find life with your current GF boring?



SnPx
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26 May 2019, 6:23 am

MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
Can’t you just hang out with her? Is it that hard to not touch her?


That's exactly what we do and that's all it will ever be. It's easy to accept now, I know there will never be anything more.

I still want to hold her hand, except for that it's not really a physical thing anyway.


Does ur GF care that u hang out with her? This is super fascinating to me sorry for all the questions.


The questions are fine. It's nice to be able to talk about it.

I don't think my GF likes it. She doesn't say anything.



MeganMaxwell
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26 May 2019, 6:29 am

SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
Can’t you just hang out with her? Is it that hard to not touch her?


That's exactly what we do and that's all it will ever be. It's easy to accept now, I know there will never be anything more.

I still want to hold her hand, except for that it's not really a physical thing anyway.


Does ur GF care that u hang out with her? This is super fascinating to me sorry for all the questions.


The questions are fine. It's nice to be able to talk about it.

I don't think my GF likes it. She doesn't say anything.


Does R find u attractive? Physically? It’s important does she make you feel attractive? Do you believe her if she does?



SnPx
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26 May 2019, 6:33 am

cyberdad wrote:
SnPx wrote:
I do agree though. It's a lot to throw away for both me and R for what may end up being a short relationship.
My impression is that ASD/ASD relationships are usually unstable. Both R and I are impulsive and unstable and I'm sure our relationship would be explosive


I think you have kind of answered your own question. I can tell you that a long term relationship with somebody who understands, loves and accepts you (i.e. your current GF) is better than a short term roller coaster ride with somebody you perceive as more exciting and in tune with your feelings (R).

Do you mind sharing what about R you find you are infatuated about? what is it about her that makes her worth obsessing about? Is R more attractive than your GF? more vivacious? do you find life with your current GF boring?


I have. This is where I am. Me and R can be friends, it doesn't have to be any more than that.

Yes I am bored of my life right now.
It's the Asperger's and ASD and our very similar backgrounds. It's not as bad as it was anyway.



SnPx
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26 May 2019, 6:36 am

MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
Can’t you just hang out with her? Is it that hard to not touch her?


That's exactly what we do and that's all it will ever be. It's easy to accept now, I know there will never be anything more.

I still want to hold her hand, except for that it's not really a physical thing anyway.


Does ur GF care that u hang out with her? This is super fascinating to me sorry for all the questions.


The questions are fine. It's nice to be able to talk about it.

I don't think my GF likes it. She doesn't say anything.


Does R find u attractive? Physically? It’s important does she make you feel attractive? Do you believe her if she does?


I don't know. It's not something we've spoken about.



MeganMaxwell
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26 May 2019, 6:43 am

SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
Can’t you just hang out with her? Is it that hard to not touch her?


That's exactly what we do and that's all it will ever be. It's easy to accept now, I know there will never be anything more.

I still want to hold her hand, except for that it's not really a physical thing anyway.


Does ur GF care that u hang out with her? This is super fascinating to me sorry for all the questions.


The questions are fine. It's nice to be able to talk about it.

I don't think my GF likes it. She doesn't say anything.


Does R find u attractive? Physically? It’s important does she make you feel attractive? Do you believe her if she does?


I don't know. It's not something we've spoken about.



Lol I’m sure you would know if she liked you. Although I didn’t have a clue. Anyway I gotta go to sleep. And not to worry you but you’re already alone you probably just haven’t realised it yet.



SnPx
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26 May 2019, 7:00 am

MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
SnPx wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
Can’t you just hang out with her? Is it that hard to not touch her?


That's exactly what we do and that's all it will ever be. It's easy to accept now, I know there will never be anything more.

I still want to hold her hand, except for that it's not really a physical thing anyway.


Does ur GF care that u hang out with her? This is super fascinating to me sorry for all the questions.


The questions are fine. It's nice to be able to talk about it.

I don't think my GF likes it. She doesn't say anything.


Does R find u attractive? Physically? It’s important does she make you feel attractive? Do you believe her if she does?


I don't know. It's not something we've spoken about.



Lol I’m sure you would know if she liked you. Although I didn’t have a clue. Anyway I gotta go to sleep. And not to worry you but you’re already alone you probably just haven’t realised it yet.


I don't want to think she does because that makes it harder to move on.

Yeah you're probably right. Thanks though.



Sandpiper
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26 May 2019, 7:18 am

I would suggest being a bit careful what else you write in this thread. You have said she knows about WP so she may be a member and you have already put quite a bit of detail about this "relationship" in the thread. Unless of course you are actually hoping she works out who you are.


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MeganMaxwell
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28 May 2019, 7:27 pm

SnPx wrote:
If I'm thinking logically I'm pretty sure I would be better off with my GF. She's very stable, very sensible, and doesn't have problems/incidents.
She looks after me, makes sure I eat properly, sleep properly and provides a strong moral compass.

With R it really is what I can only describe as having fallen in love. I wouldn't of ever said that but after googling how I feel I'm fairly sure that's what it is. Tbh until recently I would have said the phenomenon is something other people imagined they had. If I accept that I might have to accept the concept of 'the one'. And accepting that shouldn't I do everything I can to be with her?

I do agree though. It's a lot to throw away for both me and R for what may end up being a short relationship.
My impression is that ASD/ASD relationships are usually unstable. Both R and I are impulsive and unstable and I'm sure our relationship would be explosive.

R did say to me "the grass isn't always greener".

Sigh. Life's complicated.



Any updates on our mini series? I’m sure you can’t be that unstable if you’re been in a relationship for 10 years :D do you reckon R will cheat on you is that what “strong moral compass” means or do u just mean she’s “borrow” a designer dress and wear it to a ball and return it the next day..”that wine stain was already there” lol...



MeganMaxwell
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28 May 2019, 7:34 pm

If you think she’ll just cheat on you it’s kinda a no brainer isn’t it?.... just stay with your GF and use her for her stability lol sorry, sorry I find it so similar I found the most boring stable person I could find and married him because I hoped it would rub off!! !! (It didn’t).



cyberdad
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29 May 2019, 2:28 am

MeganMaxwell wrote:
just stay with your GF and use her...


Using people doesn't lead to happy long term or stable relationships



MeganMaxwell
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29 May 2019, 6:35 pm

cyberdad wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
just stay with your GF and use her...


Using people doesn't lead to happy long term or stable relationships


Oh come now this guy B is going to stay with his GF and she is going to feel his betrayal even if he hasn’t acted on it and essentially become a controlling jealous nut case which will make R look well mild.... we’ve all seen this a thousand times. But that’s the route and a person needs to experience it for themselves until u can see it in others it’s just a matter of how much of it B can handle or rather how much time he wastes. Argh love hey my poor characters.



SnPx
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30 May 2019, 1:10 am

No updates. Nothing is going to happen with R. Time and weed has reduced the intensity of my feelings for her and my sanity appears to be returning.
I'm trying to rediscover the things about my GF that I'd forgotten.
Maybe I can carry on with the life I have, maybe it's time for something else.
Whatever the future is it's not going to be with R.



cyberdad
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30 May 2019, 2:26 am

SnPx wrote:
No updates. Nothing is going to happen with R. Time and weed has reduced the intensity of my feelings for her and my sanity appears to be returning.
I'm trying to rediscover the things about my GF that I'd forgotten.
Maybe I can carry on with the life I have, maybe it's time for something else.
Whatever the future is it's not going to be with R.


Get a hobby mate



cyberdad
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30 May 2019, 2:28 am

MeganMaxwell wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
MeganMaxwell wrote:
just stay with your GF and use her...


Using people doesn't lead to happy long term or stable relationships


Oh come now this guy B is going to stay with his GF and she is going to feel his betrayal even if he hasn’t acted on it and essentially become a controlling jealous nut case which will make R look well mild.... we’ve all seen this a thousand times. But that’s the route and a person needs to experience it for themselves until u can see it in others it’s just a matter of how much of it B can handle or rather how much time he wastes. Argh love hey my poor characters.


This strategic stuff is counterintuitive if B loves his current GF. If he doesn't lover her then he is just stringing her along because he's scared of being alone. So that is "using".



MeganMaxwell
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30 May 2019, 4:07 am

SnPx wrote:
No updates. Nothing is going to happen with R. Time and weed has reduced the intensity of my feelings for her and my sanity appears to be returning.
I'm trying to rediscover the things about my GF that I'd forgotten.
Maybe I can carry on with the life I have, maybe it's time for something else.
Whatever the future is it's not going to be with R.



That’s great! Much more convenient you won’t have to move ... at all ...