Marriage and child is no longer feasible [ranty]

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Joined: 3 Oct 2017
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06 Apr 2019, 6:05 am

My uncles did not marry late and father children, thank God, cus there were seriously evil s**ts.

Do you want kids?

If you don't, don't have them, they're a lot of work.

If you do then there are a lot of things that go into being a parent and your age is only one of them. If people only

have kids under the best circumstances humans would die out. Early 40's isn't ideal from a health perspective but

there are also advantages to being older, more relaxed, less idealistic, more economically stable.

I too will also be an older parent (if I get to be a parent) and while I would have had more energy when younger, I

would be much better able to cope with the unpredictable of parenting now. And because I can see the potential

problems I can plan for them, such as life insurance and taking more care of my own health.

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Benjamin the Donkey
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06 Apr 2019, 6:54 am

When my sons were born, I was 44 and 46.
I'm now 55 and they're 11 and 10. I'm also a largely solo parent, as my wife is very frequently away in other countries for work. In addition, I have my own work. I don't think I have much less energy than I did 10 years ago, and any I've lost has been made up with an increase in patience. My biggest issue in dealing with two young sons isn't age, it's autism, especially sensory issues---and I deal with those better than I did 30 years ago.

Just my experience.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Apr 2019, 8:55 am

^ and dads over 40 are 5 times more likely to have autistic children!

magz
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06 Apr 2019, 9:10 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ and dads over 40 are 5 times more likely to have autistic children!

Maybe because autistic men have 5 times higher chance to have children late

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fluffysaurus
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06 Apr 2019, 9:14 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ and dads over 40 are 5 times more likely to have autistic children!

Where are you getting your statistics? I'm not saying they're wrong but I have had difficulty finding any actual proven statistics on autism.

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fluffysaurus
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06 Apr 2019, 9:22 am

Typical that I found this as soon as I said I can never find anything. It looks quite sensible though.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/link- ... explained/

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kraftiekortie
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06 Apr 2019, 9:37 am

But many dads and moms over 40 have “normal” children, too. And that can be proven easily.

Harpuia
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06 Apr 2019, 9:45 am

I really kinda don't want kids, and don't care if I have them either way. The girl I'm currently with and I have talked about it and have said we're taking a binary approach to it. We're having either 0 or 1. lol.

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hurtloam
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07 Apr 2019, 12:49 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

But many dads and moms over 40 have “normal” children, too. And that can be proven easily.

It's the fear of being in the tiny percentage. Yes it's a low percentage, but if it happens to you it's your whole life.

Benjamin the Donkey
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07 Apr 2019, 2:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ and dads over 40 are 5 times more likely to have autistic children!

I'm autistic. I expected there would be a good chance that at least one of my kids would be also, regardless of my age.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Apr 2019, 5:52 am

The full fledge autism is nothing like the AS “we have” here.

quite an extreme
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07 Apr 2019, 6:10 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

When they reach 18 I would be already around 58-59. How is that fair for the child? And even if my to-be wife is younger by a decade, how that would be fair to her as well?

Is there a problem between your ears? How much did you care the age of your parents once you became an adult?
But your philosophy is a nice way to remove yourself from gene pool. You should keep it! :mrgreen:

Here you'll find some other funny ways for faster reaching this target: https://darwinawards.com/ :twisted:

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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Apr 2019, 6:34 am

Yesterday my friend repeated 'you should get married' like 20 times during lunch; and he also mentioned the age and children issue (without me mentioning anything of this sort).

The guy is divorced 3 times, and never had a long happy marriage though so I don't get it.

magz
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07 Apr 2019, 6:44 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

This is exactly what "social pressure" means.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Apr 2019, 6:50 am

magz wrote:

More about social pressure:

I remember reading an interview with a truck driver who frequently drove to Turkey and back to Poland. He said, Turkish truck drivers socialize by showing each other photos of their children on their phones - and each of them has six children or so.

If Lebanon is even slightly like this, no wonder you feel an outcast for not being married at 37.

Six kids? What are they? Rabbits? Fertility is becoming low here tho:

Quote:

Turkey and Azerbaijan, for their part, are on par with Louisiana, while the tfr in Tunisia looks like that in Illinois. Lebanon’s fertility level is lower than New York State’s. As for Iran, its fertility level today is comparable with those of the New England states, the region in America with the lowest fertility. No state in the contemporary U.S., however, has a fertility level as low as Albania’s.

https://www.hoover.org/research/fertili ... slim-world

Truck drivers though usually come from ultra-conservative communities / backgrounds, and semi-arranged marriages and popping babies is like sport to them.

Sabreclaw
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08 Apr 2019, 1:39 am

quite an extreme wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

When they reach 18 I would be already around 58-59. How is that fair for the child? And even if my to-be wife is younger by a decade, how that would be fair to her as well?

Here you'll find some other funny ways for faster reaching this target: https://darwinawards.com/ :twisted:

I wasn't aware implying a guy should kill himself because he's worried he might be too old for kids was acceptable here. Nice to know.

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Marriage and child is no longer feasible [ranty]