07 Jun 2019, 5:13 am
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,686
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
07 Jun 2019, 5:49 am
07 Jun 2019, 6:40 am
Frankly women aren't worth the effort some men put in but then I'm out of the game so I guess that doesn't count.
One useful tip is to lose the desperation, girls smell that from a mile away. After going through so many crappy dates I eventually met my wife when I had the philosophy of "I don't give a toss" "If it happens it happens" otherwise Mr Wanky (my right hand) would just keep my company.
It just so happened she liked my Jim Carey personality 
07 Jun 2019, 7:07 am
SilentJessica
Velociraptor
Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: Melbourne, Australia
07 Jun 2019, 7:16 am
I blocked him on Snapchat and he had already blocked me on OkCupid. Thanks, everyone. 
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
07 Jun 2019, 7:28 am
SilentJessica wrote:
I blocked him on Snapchat and he had already blocked me on OkCupid. Thanks, everyone.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
Good! Boy be crazy.
08 Jun 2019, 8:16 am
SilentJessica wrote:
I blocked him on Snapchat and he had already blocked me on OkCupid. Thanks, everyone.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
This was the right thing to do. Don’t be too hard on yourself, it is a learning process and now you will be more familiar with the red flags and more cautious about pushy guys going forward.
08 Jun 2019, 8:27 am
SilentJessica
Velociraptor
Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: Melbourne, Australia
08 Jun 2019, 9:55 am
fez wrote:
SilentJessica wrote:
I blocked him on Snapchat and he had already blocked me on OkCupid. Thanks, everyone.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
This was the right thing to do. Don’t be too hard on yourself, it is a learning process and now you will be more familiar with the red flags and more cautious about pushy guys going forward.
Thanks.
As well as being pushy with meeting me, he was being pushy with asking for photos, saying “You will send them.” That tells me he probably didn’t want a proper relationship, even though it was hard for me to see it at the time.BlossX wrote:
like in every relationship, being it of love or without love, you have to be yourself. If you try to be someone else in order to get that person closer, eventually your mask will drop and you will lose him.
You have to be yourself, that is the biggest tip I can give you. and that way, whether you are bad or good you will keep the people that REALLY want to stay with you, without any trick.
You have to be yourself, that is the biggest tip I can give you. and that way, whether you are bad or good you will keep the people that REALLY want to stay with you, without any trick.
I always try to be myself.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,686
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
08 Jun 2019, 11:47 am
SilentJessica wrote:
fez wrote:
SilentJessica wrote:
I blocked him on Snapchat and he had already blocked me on OkCupid. Thanks, everyone.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
This was the right thing to do. Don’t be too hard on yourself, it is a learning process and now you will be more familiar with the red flags and more cautious about pushy guys going forward.
Thanks.
As well as being pushy with meeting me, he was being pushy with asking for photos, saying “You will send them.” That tells me he probably didn’t want a proper relationship, even though it was hard for me to see it at the time.08 Jun 2019, 7:43 pm
09 Jun 2019, 9:55 am
SilentJessica
Velociraptor
Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: Melbourne, Australia
09 Jun 2019, 10:54 am
nick007 wrote:
SilentJessica wrote:
fez wrote:
SilentJessica wrote:
I blocked him on Snapchat and he had already blocked me on OkCupid. Thanks, everyone.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
I’m sorry for starting a thread. I haven’t been able to think about much else this week, and it was hard to decide what I should do, or to see much sense.
This was the right thing to do. Don’t be too hard on yourself, it is a learning process and now you will be more familiar with the red flags and more cautious about pushy guys going forward.
Thanks.
As well as being pushy with meeting me, he was being pushy with asking for photos, saying “You will send them.” That tells me he probably didn’t want a proper relationship, even though it was hard for me to see it at the time.There were photos of me on my profile and I sent more of my face (I don’t see anything wrong with it if it’s only normal photos, and I understand asking for those) but he wanted photos without my top.
I understand the rest of your post, too. That’s why I’m not going to try to find anyone again until I know I’ll be able to meet them in person, which I wouldn’t want to wait long for if it felt right. I know I would worry about them moving on, too. Right now, I have no way of going anywhere alone except for a short walk, which is one reason I wanted to wait long enough that I could change that before I met him.
MaxE wrote:
I entirely agree that the OP should discontinue contact with this guy (and has done if I understand correctly).
At the same time, we should consider the possibility that he isn't really an intentional creep. It's possible he is awkward and sincere about what he has said. Knowing the OP's issues, maybe he is saying things that he truly believes will cause her to like him. If somehow he actually found himself in a relationship with her, I suspect he might discover his empathy to be less powerful than it seems to him in his fantasy world.
We don't know if the photos he asked for were supposed to be nude. If so, then I would be more inclined to suspect he is a bona fide creep. I do believe there are a fair number of people who manipulate women to get nude photos.
I don't think we can assume that every guy on a dating site that comes across as creepy is a cynical manipulator of innocent women. Some are just desperate and have no experience whatsoever with women so they really don't know how NOT to seem creepy
At the same time, we should consider the possibility that he isn't really an intentional creep. It's possible he is awkward and sincere about what he has said. Knowing the OP's issues, maybe he is saying things that he truly believes will cause her to like him. If somehow he actually found himself in a relationship with her, I suspect he might discover his empathy to be less powerful than it seems to him in his fantasy world.
We don't know if the photos he asked for were supposed to be nude. If so, then I would be more inclined to suspect he is a bona fide creep. I do believe there are a fair number of people who manipulate women to get nude photos.
I don't think we can assume that every guy on a dating site that comes across as creepy is a cynical manipulator of innocent women. Some are just desperate and have no experience whatsoever with women so they really don't know how NOT to seem creepy
I haven’t contacted him again, and still have him blocked, which will stay that way.
One of the reasons I was confused about what to do was that I couldn’t tell if he was a creep or not, and I didn’t think he was. He seemed very nice and sweet, but the pushiness made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t think it was okay. When I was talking to him, I had feelings for him and wanted to meet him, but whenever he left to go to sleep, all I could see was the red flags and pushiness, which made me unsure. I always feel bad for thinking someone I like might be a manipulative person or for thinking I’m doing the wrong thing by someone.
I didn’t post these, but they might explain more:
https://imgur.com/a/7NYWQyu
09 Jun 2019, 12:18 pm
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,686
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
09 Jun 2019, 1:09 pm
09 Jun 2019, 5:57 pm
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