Describe Your Ideal Partner

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I have to say that some of the most attractive women I have ever met whose characters are soo sweet and interesting are likely to be on the fringes of being on the spectrum even though they may not know it. They are independent thinkers and see things in an attractive way. They are the few who don't think I'm strange... They see me as being normal somehow...
I watched a talk on Youtube done by a man who was a leader in his field before I came on this site to ask questions and he said that right around the world, if they take 100 random people and assess them, it averages out that 15% will be on the autistic spectrum and only somewhere like 7% (In the developed world. Less in other parts of the world) will have been diagnosed as having it. So out of every 100 people, 15 will be on the spectrum... So about 8 women may have it (As population of women is higher then men) out of every 100. Now it is likely 4 of them will already be married. 2 of the ones left will be either too old or young. 1 may prefer other women... So one in 100 are left.
Now if I date a lady I don't mind if she is on the spectrum or not... But the character of those who may be on the fringes who maybe ideal as they will have a unique and independent personality which is what I find so attractive... Well. I may actually be looking at 1 in 300. That is going to be difficult... Now find a 1 in 300 living locally and it maybe down to 1 in 500. Then find one who may like me and it may be 1 in 10,000.. So I do have a chance of finding the right person for me after all! As I only need to date one person... So if I start asking 10,000 ladies out...and I don't get myself arrested... (As here in the UK according to a BBC program, it is now illegal for a man to ask a woman out for a date as it is classed as sexual harrassment... They indicate that it must be the lady asking the man out... So maybe it would end up as 1 in 40,000. But at least I have a chance...

There's no use trying to figure out "odds" when it comes to finding your soulmate.

I think this "figuring out of odds" can be problematic. Because the "odds" always work out to the disadvantage of the person determining the "odds."

Yes. I have just found that out... Mind you. I only want to end up with one wife... I don't want lots of wives like the oil shreeks.

My idea partner is a very shy girl, nice, and kind. She has social anxiety and has trouble speaking out cause of many fears like bothering others and afraid of saying the wrong things. She is very quiet and she is introverted. Despite being quiet she is always thinking, analyzing, and processing the world around her and if she ever has something to say it's usually important and meaningful. She has issues with finding good coping skills with the world cause of how stressful it can be. She has an inner child that is afraid to come out and the only ones to see her childish side is someone she trusts a great deal. She isn't about money or material gain, her family and her friends is what she cares about the most and would do anything to keep them healthy and safe.

She has trouble expressing herself in words but, you can trust that she loves you anyway. She is like a hidden gem, waiting to be discovered and seeing the potential that she has because she struggles with realizing her strengths. With all of that we would explore the world together and learn many things as we go through life. Whatever happens she and I would know that we love each other, we are each others best friend, and will always be there for one another.

Physical features:
Height 5'5 - 5'7 But, I settled for 5'5
Her size is average to a little below average(Have to have a little meat on her.)
Medium-length hair
Race: Black(probably because my race is black might be why that is but, race really doesn't matter).
I always pictured her wearing a blouse and skirt or maybe a T-shirt and shorts, I'm leaning more on T-shirt and shorts cause she wasn't a fan of a lot of clothes (too restricting and felt suffocating) and a skirt made her feel too vulnerable(She might wear one if asked or trusted the person enough if they liked her in one.) colors were usually blue, pink, or white.

P.S. On a side note, whenever I think about my ideal partner she was always bad at math, good at writing, and liked to read.


...Sorry for over doing it with the descriptions...

Is interesting. You have me thinking. The main quality for me... Well... I was thinking along rhe lines that if I was dating a NT and she became my wife and I am definately found to be on thw spectrum, then the big concern for me is that she would have the sticking power to stay with me through thick and thin... If that makes sense. But if she was such a person she maybe able to make up for the areas that I find I lack.
Or I could find a lady like myself and we could both be very close to each other but both of us may struggle in the same areas... Not easy is it?

Twilight:

Thanks for much for starting this thread! This is basically dream/fantasy land so this should be fun!

Let me get the superficial, petty stuff out of the way first: Yes I would very much like someone pretty, no doubt. Since giving my partner lots of orgasms is a goal of mine, well I don't think I need to say any more than that... I don't really care in the end what race or culture she's from, though I confess to having a major weakness for Latin girls, blondes and some brunettes. I don't care too much how fancy she'd look, but yes I have a weakness for that in women too. I'd just like someone I'm physically attracted to.

Politics is super important to me so I'd want someone leftist (like Marxist, Communist or Anarchist) or at least very progressive.

She'd need to be intelligent and cosmopolitan culturally, like really into foreign cultures. I don't care that much about how educated she is, as long as she's intellectually and culturally curious/interested.

Some sense of humor would be nice, but I think that's fairly common anyway.

I'd like her to be affectionate and touchy feely, b/c I long for alot of physical contact w/my partner. And I guess w/that goes being sensitive, maybe that's an obvious one.

If she could be somewhat aesthetically/artistically inclined/creative that would also be really cool, whatever the art form is (in the broadest sense of the word art, so like photography, film, visual art, dance, literature/poetry, film, wtf ever). I really wanna learn samba and maybe some other dance forms so having someone to share that with or music particularly, would be really great.

Maybe I'll think of more later, but that's all I guess for now.

Of course it is variable. People like different things. I've seen a guy on YouTube say he prefers fat women because he thinks non-fat woman are "gross".

So what do you find physically attractive then?

Such threads are useless.

Because autistic people vary widely as to their exact strengths and weaknesses, you and an autistic girlfriend wouldn't necessarily be struggling in exactly the same areas.

My boyfriend (who is also my business partner) and I complement each other in various ways. He has wider-ranging technical knowledge but struggles with details. I am very detail-oriented, but I have great difficulty with attention-shifting and multi-tasking; hence, to limit distractions, I don't usually check email nearly as often throughout the day as he does. Socially, he is more conversationally fluid (I have more difficulty with casual conversation), whereas I am better at identifying and resolving misunderstandings.

That can't be right. These days, here in the U.S.A. at least, pediatricians routinely screen children for autism. According to the most recent CDC estimate, 1 in 59 children are now diagnosed with ASD. That's less than 2%. It's possible that girls and poor kids are still being under-diagnosed, but that is unlikely to bring the total all the way up to 7%, let alone 15%. Perhaps the 7% figure might refer to the "broad autistic phenotype" (BAP), but certainly not to ASD.

This thread is not useless, because it shows how people vary in what they want. Too many people these days, especially those who have not been very successful in dating, seem to believe that both men and women exist on a single absolute linear scale of desirability. It would be much better for everyone's sanity if we could all put that notion to rest.

First off, it's good that you are seeking women with common interests!

Are there any particular subgenres of science fiction (and/or other "alternative interests" of yours) that tend to be more interesting to women than most other subgenres?

don't care what gender. not obese. somewhat interested in fitness within the limits of their genes/age/history of injury. interested in sex. interested in music, esp. acoustic music. interested in high-quality audio reproduction. preferably with a bit of musical ability. left-wing [conservatives are a BIG turn-off]. working-class. somebody who "gets" me and wants me despite my many faults. somebody less addled than me [two equally addled in a relationship not only doesn't work but is outright dangerous]. black is beautiful but otherwise "it's all good." bubble booty. small bosum. if male, somebody twink-ish [boyishly slender] no matter their age. above-average intelligence. high EQ. most importantly, within +/- 10 years of my age and no further than the other side of town.

First and foremost, I think I'd prefer to be with a woman the spectrum than with an NT. I just feel that it would be easier for both of us if that were the case.

She would be in her early 20s like me, and won't mind taking things slowly at first. She would be friendly, creative, kind, and adventurous. She would be able to tolerate the fact that I process the outside world a bit slower than average and sometimes just need time to myself.

Ideologically, she would be intelligent, not extremely religious, and lean to the left on the political spectrum.

We would share some common interests, preferably music-related (I am a singer and songwriter, and can play a little piano and drums, but not guitar). She would not be addicted to social media.

I could care less about height or race, but would prefer her to be of healthy or near-healthy weight. What's on the inside is much more important than what's on the outside.

A Christian in religion (ideally RC or Orthodox, but other Churches are fine as long as seriously devout).

A traditionalist, Burkean conservative in politics, though not overly vociferous one way or the other. Identitarian/far-left types are a no-no. I'd be happy for her to have no political interests whatever.

A musician of some sort (a decent, wholesome instrument like the piano or clarinet - not a guitar or anything like that).

Modestly but well dressed (no trousers or trainers really unless for a specific purpose, like gardening or exercise). I love tasteful hats.

A fellow bibliophile. In particular, a lover of the classics.

Deeply reticent and thoughtful; not a talker at all.

A lover of dogs, wildlife and the countryside.

Depth of character rather than loud, attention-seeking show.

Meek, humble and kindhearted.

Not ashamed to work as a housewife, though still deeply ambitious.

Not overly anxious to have children.

Educated, intelligent and cultured.

A drinker, possibly a smoker but under no circumstances a drug taker or anybody who fraternises with them.

Good taste in food and wine.

A decent upbringing and background with a family sharing the values listed.

Only listens to good, wholesome music and ditto for films.

A traditional name like Catherine, Mary, Sarah, Rebecca, Elizabeth, Jane, etc. - not fad names like Tracey, Ashley and Shazney.

Willing to retain virginity until marriage, and reserved and private about sexual matters.

Ideally around my age, but as old as thirty or so is acceptable.


As for appearance, I really don't care, but I like women who are taller than me (at 5'6, not hard), rather plump and with rosy facial complexions and reddish hair. Can't stand tattoos, self-neglect or anything the least bit trendy.