Don't get it if teenager girls start to flirt with me.

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Two years ago a girl of about 19 did fell really in love to me. Once I realized her being as young I rejected her in a quite hard way hoping that it makes her hating me. I broke her totally. I would never do something stupid like this again.

Even assuming this is universal, power doesn't have to be abused. Sex or romance isn't inherently exploitative or harmful.

One word: Jailbait.

I find it unlikely that a minor would flirt with a 51 year old.

Women my age are incredibly boring, so why would I ever want to flirt with them?



Not quite. As I concluded in another post, women will only consider minimal attractivity in guys to create a manageable dating pool. Older men typically have several of the things that women desire, and so it's natural that there is age difference in relationships.



Flirting has nothing to do with seeing people as sex objects.

Nothing wrong at all. I'd be flattered if it had happened to me. We should encourage this kind of thing and not be so negative. Ageism is rampant in our culture, and we need less of that not more. Every positive contact that spans generations is good.

If a girl attempts to flirt with me I know she is "of age". As I've already pointed out, flirting is not about sex, not about a relationship and certainly not a power game. It's a fun and natural activity that there is no need to put moral concerns about. After all, a girl don't have to flirt with me or anybody else.



That only might happen when it is done many times, and I will avoid that when I already have a loved one.

Not wasting my time on here, you come across as a creep and a misogynist. Women your age are only boring if you're into women exclusively for sex. You don't have things in common with teenage girls. Find a hobby group, find someone your age and date her. Better yet, quit flirting with people until you learn to respect women as equals.

No, women my age are boring because of their limited interests. I feel like I was around 30, and I'm certainly not just waiting for my pension & getting buried. When I retire I plan to increase my focus on neurodiversity research, and I have no intention of settling down. I would be fine with getting more children too, and I would enjoy playing with them on playgrounds and things.

I'd like to add that men my age are equally boring, which is why I enjoy setting myself apart from them.

And flirting is not a power game, and thus the talk about "equals" and "respect" is completely misplaced.

We don't really know how the OP looks. He says he's good looking for 51 yrs old and the girl might just be having some harmless fun and probably gauged the situation as safe to tease/flirt for the fun of it. That's what teenage NT girls do sometimes. They also like the attention.

Anyway it's unlikely the OP will ever cross paths again and the girl likely forgot what she did the moment she checked her phone (unlike the OP who obviously has good memories).

Dude, you have experience with this type of thing but you are posting here like you don't know what to do about the current
situation?

Yeah well I prefer aesthetically 18-21 yo men. I like doing things that kids like to do. I don't even drink. I live at home and am certainly not your average 31 yo woman. I still don't hit on teenagers. I look about 15. I'm only 31 and boys flirt with me, I just don't respond because if they knew I was 31 they wouldn't or it would be a milf/cougar type situation, not what they're thinking it is which is just 'boy meets girl'.

Flirting is a power game when it gets into relationship territory. And you should respect everyone you have relationships with. Even platonic ones. Whenever things get sexual, it matters that the two people are equally experienced in life, social connections, finances, sexual experiences and intelligence. Otherwise someone could take advantage.

I actually find many women my age to be enchanting and desirable....

I'm not surprised. You seem like a safe guy to have around young women without creepy stuff going on, almost like a father.

Do you have kids? It makes quite a difference. When people have kids, they start to be more aware of ages and creeps etc.

Even for me, I don't have kids but I was with my 17 yo nephew at the weekend and it struck me how young he is. (16 is the UK legal age so I could have sex with a 17 yo boy and not get in trouble, and I've had plenty of offers in that direction). It might only seem like yesterday that I was checking out universities but it was actually over a decade ago. Teenagers nowadays weren't even born in the 20th century!

My little cousin used to tease me about being 'old' but that's different, a five year gap isn't anything really, we have some of the same overlapping TV shows and experiences of life. I might have been born in the 80s but we're both 90s kids.

Once someone is over 20, I'm fine with age gaps. But I'm not for power imbalances - which do exist otherwise it would be ok for a sixth form teacher to date his student or a therapist to date her client etc. I'd actually advise aspies to date slightly younger because of our probable lack of experience in social and sexual things, it balances out the power dynamic. Power imbalances exist in unhealthy relationships and are unhealthy for the weaker partner and for a more powerful partner who actually cares and isn't just thinking about sex.

My parents (mum and stepdad) have a big age gap but it's ok because my mum is so much more socially competent than my stepdad (he's practically undiagnosed autistic), they met when she was 26 with a mortgage and a kid and she's the main breadwinner nowadays (he was when she was establishing her career, now he's retired). The difference is, he couldn't take advantage of her and vice versa any more than your average same age couple could and they have genuine things to talk about together, in fact (I know this might be for my benefit) they're not very sexual together, like most couples hold hands and hug a lot and they don't, they just have fun.

Nope. No kids.

I don’t believe in power imbalances, either. There is so much potential for heartache (and much more) in these sorts of situations.

Probably the ideal solution to this is aspie men quit subscribing to the alpha male beta male thing and get aspie girlfriends their own age. That way, the partners are likely to be socially (lower than average) and intellectually (higher than average) matched.

I don't think people who are old are always wise. I've spent enough time with old people to know there are some real idiots out there collecting pensions. But I do think they are necessarily more competent than they were in their own youth. Only exception is if someone has Alzheimer's - and people without Alzheimer's shouldn't be starting relationships with them, it's different to stay in the relationship but even then you become a kind of carer to them rather than a regular spouse or partner.