"But a woman's number of options doesn't matter!"

Page 3 of 9 [ 135 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 9 Next

Joined: 16 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 336
Location: Sydney

05 Sep 2019, 9:07 pm

Personality, intelligence and chemistry can not be found with chatting to random strangers online.
The best matches are found in real world interactions at school, work, church, through family/friends or hobbies/interests.
Dozens of online matches are to boost ego and attention seeking. Meeting up with random strangers is dangerous and should be avoided.

The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,765

05 Sep 2019, 9:23 pm

Rainbow_Belle wrote:

Unfortunately, not all of us have those avenues you mentioned to meet a significant other.

martianprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Jun 2019
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,048
Location: Kansas

05 Sep 2019, 10:09 pm

Rainbow_Belle wrote:

I've only ever met one person out of dozens offline. I really don't know what I would have done without the internet. I probably wouldn't be married right now.

_________________
The phone ping from a pillow fort in a corn maze
I don't have a horse in your war games
I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,769
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

06 Sep 2019, 8:31 pm

martianprincess wrote:

Rainbow_Belle wrote:

I've only ever met one person out of dozens offline. I really don't know what I would have done without the internet. I probably wouldn't be married right now.

I know what you mean. NO women offline were ever willing to give me half a chance for a romantic relationship. I've met my current girlfriend & both my exes online. I met the ladder two on this forum. We were able to get a feel for each other so to speak from reading the other's posts & we chatted online for months before meeting up. I was very willing to relocate to be with my current girlfriend which I did 6 & half years ago. I also would of been very willing to relocate to be with both my exes but things never got that far.

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,469
Location: New York City (Queens)

06 Sep 2019, 8:55 pm

nick007 wrote:

martianprincess wrote:

I've only ever met one person out of dozens offline. I really don't know what I would have done without the internet. I probably wouldn't be married right now.

Indeed, if one is going to meet people online, forums are probably much better than dating services. Besides this forum, there are probably forums devoted to just about any conceivable hobby one might have.

_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.

BDavro
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 May 2019
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,232

06 Sep 2019, 9:01 pm

domineekee wrote:

I no longer give a s**t.

It's a load of bollocks, I'm with you.

BDavro
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 May 2019
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,232

06 Sep 2019, 9:03 pm

MushroomPrincess wrote:

I get a lot of guys messaging me on Tinder (and Grindr, Fetlife etc.)

And 99% of them fall into the following categories:

-Lame middle-class straight guy with the personality of a glass of water
-Attractive and athletic "chad" types just looking for a booty call
-Chasers who don't see trans women as people, just accessories for their fetish

I get dozens of matches a day, talk to them for about five minutes each, and almost always I can clock them as one of those three types. And sometimes when I'm feeling daring, I'll tell a chaser "sure, you can f**k my tr***y ass but it's not going to be cheap, show me some benjamins", usually they unmatch me after that.

It's just basic sociology. Humans are a social animal, and to impress someone there's a personality filter you have to pass. And that goes for me too! I've had plenty of guys match with me because they liked my pics, and then not want to meet me because of my sh***y personality. It happens to women too.

Every day?

How much time are you wasting on dating rubbish?

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

06 Sep 2019, 9:17 pm

Rainbow_Belle wrote:

Dozens of online matches are to boost ego and attention seeking.

I guess some people might use it to get attention, but that's not how everyone uses online dating. People do meet partners through it.

[/quote]Meeting up with random strangers is dangerous and should be avoided.[/quote]

Millions do this everyday without getting attacked. You meet in a public place.

You sound like one of these people who can't see any good in technology and who doesn't get the point of things like Instagram.

It's not all shallowness in internet-land. Some shallow people give it a bad name, but thetes genuine folks put there too.

Sahn
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Jan 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,503
Location: UK

07 Sep 2019, 3:12 am

BDavro wrote:

domineekee wrote:

I no longer give a s**t.

It's a load of bollocks, I'm with you.

Good, failure is an option. Can't be bothered.
Big up all the rotten apples who never even tried.

MushroomPrincess
Deinonychus

Joined: 26 Feb 2017
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 335
Location: Turtle Island

07 Sep 2019, 3:05 pm

BDavro wrote:

Every day?

How much time are you wasting on dating rubbish?

Maybe like half an hour to an hour whenever I ride the bus? And it's not a total waste, but I've honestly gotten more sex the old-fashioned way (going to bars) then through dating apps. Internet boys have a tendency to chicken out before getting a chance to meet, bunch of chickens...

DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,689
Location: Northern California

07 Sep 2019, 4:10 pm

She knows her, you know you. When it comes to all other women, you are BOTH guessing.

So I fall back to doing what feels right to you. You can't be anything but yourself pursuing relationships, realistically, so why bother? Don't overthink it, just do what you feel inspired to do.

I realize I know NOTHING about modern dating with apps and what not, but some things don't change. Unless you enjoy playing games and have mastered them, don't even try. Just be you.

_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 07 Sep 2019, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,689
Location: Northern California

07 Sep 2019, 4:15 pm

sly279 wrote:

martianprincess wrote:

When I was dating I had a profile on OkCupid. I received tons of messages in a day, and my philosophy is that it's quality over quantity. I responded to as many as I could, even if it was to say I wasn't interested or to just see where the conversation went even if their profile didn't strike me right away. The people who always kept my attention were interesting to talk to, I didn't feel like I had to "prop up" the conversation, they clearly read my profile and were interested in me as a person, and we have things to talk about beyond "I like to breathe air too, cool."

The number of options didn't matter to me as much as the quality of the options. If I had received 500 messages and I didn't connect with anyone, I wouldn't have gone on any dates.

Your post proves boos point. You pick the quality men not the losers.
Most aspie men aren’t quality men, we the quantity that gets thrown away.

Most women look at my picture and swipe me away, the few who read my profile see I’m worthless and swipe me away. Very few read my profile, non message me or match with me.

I'm a little biased, but I think my ASD son is a quality man. He found a girlfriend the old fashioned way: real life. They started as friends and eventually realized they really wanted to date. They are actually both ASD; they bonded over that fact. It's why they became friends to start with.

When it comes to dating, the biggest barrier for most people lives in their heads.

_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

07 Sep 2019, 4:38 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:

When it comes to dating, the biggest barrier for most people lives in their heads.

That's such an ignorant thing to say to people who have been rejected over and over again.

It's not us stopping ourselves, it's other people saying no to us!

We try and people always say no.

THEY SAY NO. not us.

smudge
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,716
Location: Moved on

07 Sep 2019, 4:50 pm

Hurtloam when you say things like you're too good for autism groups and online dating, I find it hard to take you seriously.

_________________
I've left WP.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

07 Sep 2019, 4:51 pm

smudge wrote:

Hurtloam when you say things like you're too good for autism groups and online dating, I find it hard to take you seriously.

I don't care what you think. :p

I'll live my life how I want.

They all said no. They all said no. They all said no.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

07 Sep 2019, 4:58 pm

I'm not too good. I'm too tired. I just can't do this anymore.

Page 3 of 9 [ 135 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 9 Next

Jump to:

Similar Topics
Looking For Affordable Housing Options (Canada) in Random Discussion	12 Jan 2025, 9:46 pm Canadian Freedom Lover
Does it matter I don't use Instagram or tiktok? in Social Skills and Making Friends	13 Feb 2025, 7:16 pm funeralxempire
Time-Lapse of 1st Black Hole Reveals How Matter Swirls Aroun in News and Current Events	25 Jan 2025, 7:13 pm AnonymousAnonymous
Tea Bags Release Shocking Number Of Plastic Particles Into in News and Current Events	16 Jan 2025, 5:05 pm cyberdora

"But a woman's number of options doesn't matter!" Post Reply New Topic

"But a woman's number of options doesn't matter!"