What type of woman do you think would be a good match for me

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Teach51
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18 Sep 2019, 7:27 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
What I am going to say may sound harsh but I really think that working on communication skills is a priority for aspie men. I know many NT men who are either short, not handsome, obese or poor who have happy marriages. One thing they have in common is having a positive outlook, taking interest in other people and are good conversationalists. Only one of my 5 aspie friends ever asks me how I am and what I am doing. The others really care but they just tell me about themselves and then I tell them what I am doing etc.
That works in friendship but in an intimate relationship much more focus on the other person by an aspie guy would work wonders. Women don't know you like them unless you say so. Don't talk about yourself so much. One of my aspie friends has just completed a workshop in soft skills and communication because he is having difficulty dating. It can't hurt anyway.

I don't even encounter any prospective partners. No one seems to be interested in even entertaining the idea of having a romantic relationship with me. I've only ever been on one date and the rest of my extremely limited "dating" experience has been confined to online. Over the years I've had three women I met online flake on meeting me and then there was the one date I did have and that's the entirety of my "dating" experience. I put dating in quotations because I'd hardly even call it that with the three women who flaked on me that I never got to meet in person.



I know some aspie guys who only started dating in their late 20's. You need to make a woman feel some sort of connection.. If she's aspie then it could be a special interest I suppose. NT women like attention and compliments. It takes longer for aspies to get the hang of it but it can happen. Aspies are more self-focused and seem aloof and self-centred but with time a woman will see the real you and feel the depth of your caring that is difficult for you to verbalise. That's a big obstacle but can be worked on.

But I'm not even meeting any women. It would be rare for me to even meet one new woman every three months.




Be patient and keep trying. Put yourself out there. :heart:


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The Grand Inquisitor
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18 Sep 2019, 7:38 am

Teach51 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
What I am going to say may sound harsh but I really think that working on communication skills is a priority for aspie men. I know many NT men who are either short, not handsome, obese or poor who have happy marriages. One thing they have in common is having a positive outlook, taking interest in other people and are good conversationalists. Only one of my 5 aspie friends ever asks me how I am and what I am doing. The others really care but they just tell me about themselves and then I tell them what I am doing etc.
That works in friendship but in an intimate relationship much more focus on the other person by an aspie guy would work wonders. Women don't know you like them unless you say so. Don't talk about yourself so much. One of my aspie friends has just completed a workshop in soft skills and communication because he is having difficulty dating. It can't hurt anyway.

I don't even encounter any prospective partners. No one seems to be interested in even entertaining the idea of having a romantic relationship with me. I've only ever been on one date and the rest of my extremely limited "dating" experience has been confined to online. Over the years I've had three women I met online flake on meeting me and then there was the one date I did have and that's the entirety of my "dating" experience. I put dating in quotations because I'd hardly even call it that with the three women who flaked on me that I never got to meet in person.



I know some aspie guys who only started dating in their late 20's. You need to make a woman feel some sort of connection.. If she's aspie then it could be a special interest I suppose. NT women like attention and compliments. It takes longer for aspies to get the hang of it but it can happen. Aspies are more self-focused and seem aloof and self-centred but with time a woman will see the real you and feel the depth of your caring that is difficult for you to verbalise. That's a big obstacle but can be worked on.

But I'm not even meeting any women. It would be rare for me to even meet one new woman every three months.




Be patient and keep trying. Put yourself out there. :heart:

I wouldn't know where to put myself out there where I might have a chance of meeting somebody who would be compatible with me. Hobby and interest groups aren't really applicable as I'm not very invested in my hobbies and interests, and they're all male-dominated anyway.



Teach51
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18 Sep 2019, 8:56 am

RetroGamer posted a link to a dating site. He's also an Aussi. Open an account in a few sites and try your luck. Find out how to keep yourself safe online. If you let your past defeats determine your future you will not progress sweety.


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GiantHockeyFan
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24 Sep 2019, 6:32 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I wouldn't know where to put myself out there where I might have a chance of meeting somebody who would be compatible with me. Hobby and interest groups aren't really applicable as I'm not very invested in my hobbies and interests, and they're all male-dominated anyway.


One area where I likely would have found success was volunteering to help with the local College's Medical Laboratory Program (being a guinea pig for them to draw blood). I'm married now so I obviously wasn't looking for love just to help out someone I knew but I couldn't believe how the women there treated me like a celebrity: they actually loved my personality and they were all set to have very secure employment too. Running was another activity I did that was female dominated and I probably would have found someone there if I hadn't already met my now wife.