I'm 18 And I've Never Been On A Date

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Caesar
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20 Dec 2019, 10:07 pm

It's not weird at all, I did not either at the age of 18.

AprilR
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22 Dec 2019, 12:16 pm

Me neither and i'm almost 30. I don't think i am the sort of person tht can go on dates anyway.

nick007
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22 Dec 2019, 11:05 pm

AprilR wrote:

Me neither and i'm almost 30. I don't think i am the sort of person tht can go on dates anyway.

I never really went on a date persay & I think I would be way to ret*d to come off well on a date. I NEVER manged to get a single date anyways despite my best efforts. I think I come off much better on forums to the rite people than I do offline & on dating sites.

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funeralxempire
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24 Dec 2019, 4:53 pm

I'm 35 and haven't been on a date, but have still managed to not do too badly romantically.

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24 Dec 2019, 4:59 pm

How can you not have dates and still eventually have romance?

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funeralxempire
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24 Dec 2019, 5:10 pm

smudge wrote:

How can you not have dates and still eventually have romance?

Coworkers, people you meet online, fwb, etc.

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24 Dec 2019, 5:18 pm

Ohh.

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funeralxempire
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24 Dec 2019, 5:21 pm

smudge wrote:

Ohh.

Yeah, 'Wanna smoke a bowl after work' isn't a date.

This is might be a generational thing as much as an ASD thing, our generational cohort never really learned how to date the way our parents cohort did, and that's made a lot of our relationships much less formal.

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24 Dec 2019, 5:26 pm

I haven't been in the right mindset for years in order to date, or have romance. I've been too trapped in my own situation.

I guess there's good and bad sides to modern dating. I think meeting people IRL is the way to go, not dating websites.

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funeralxempire
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24 Dec 2019, 5:31 pm

smudge wrote:

Personally, I've got zero experience with dating websites or apps. People I've met online and gotten involved with have all been from forums or chat sites.

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24 Dec 2019, 5:59 pm

I'm 26, female, and have never been on a date - or ever had a guy in person even look at me twice. Apparently I photograph well, though, people who only see my picture online or who see me exclusively through a video camera actually say I'm pretty - something I can't remember even my mom telling me in person.

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WantToHaveALife
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24 Dec 2019, 6:27 pm

AprilR wrote:

Me neither and i'm almost 30. I don't think i am the sort of person tht can go on dates anyway.

a woman who is almost 30 and never had a boyfriend? the last thing you would expect to happen to a woman, since women aren't expected to do the pursuing.

kraftiekortie
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24 Dec 2019, 6:29 pm

April is a very smart gal. I can't see why a man wouldn't like her.

dragonsanddemons
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24 Dec 2019, 6:36 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:

AprilR wrote:

Me neither and i'm almost 30. I don't think i am the sort of person tht can go on dates anyway.

a woman who is almost 30 and never had a boyfriend? the last thing you would expect to happen to a woman, since women aren't expected to do the pursuing.

We don't all have it easy in the dating department simply because of that. Guys have to actually want to approach us, and sometimes simply being female isn't enough.

Borromeo
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24 Dec 2019, 6:44 pm

Why does everybody say that the men do the pursuing?

The girl I like only just hung around and everyone else said she appeared to be fond of me...but I didn't notice. I'm also autistic so there is that; I don't "do" social cues. But anyway, she asked me to see her--and that kind of started a long happy friendship.

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funeralxempire
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24 Dec 2019, 7:31 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:

AprilR wrote:

Me neither and i'm almost 30. I don't think i am the sort of person tht can go on dates anyway.

a woman who is almost 30 and never had a boyfriend? the last thing you would expect to happen to a woman, since women aren't expected to do the pursuing.

There's a woman at work who might have ASD, her social interactions tend to be very awkward, terse and mechanical. She's absolutely gorgeous, easily one of the most attractive women in the building for the duration of her shift.

I hear loads of guys gossip about her, mostly just out of curiosity (usually a mix of oh she's pretty and i don't think she talks to anyone). I've asked a few of them if they've ever attempted to interact with her, not one has out of the 40 or so people in the sample group.

I talk to her on a daily basis, usually just brief 'small talk', she's from Brazil and married. Her husband is someone she's known since she was a little kid. I only see a few women and myself talk to her at work. None of those women have any interaction with her outside of work (nor do I).

I'd be willing to bet if she didn't have a husband she'd be in her twenties without any sexual or romantic experience because of how people read her as aloof and unapproachable even though she's mostly just quiet, timid and awkward.

If one can't form social connections one is likely to struggle to form romantic connections as well as struggle to find hook-ups and other non-romantic sexual encounters. This can happen to both men and women and will happen regardless of norms regarding pursuit.

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