Approaching a girl with Aspergers
Update:
So...thanks to everyone for the sound advice. Sorry I didn’t let you all know sooner but, after reading her presentation again I noticed she left the name of her Youtube channel so I checked it out and found out that she is in fact a lesbian... at first, I was heartbroken and honestly, I felt awful for a couple days... i felt too embarrassed to confront anyone, even on the internet about it.. i know it might seem silly but this is the first experience i’ve had where I felt like things could actually go somewhere with a girl, turns out I was wrong... honestly, I’m going through way more stuff that I’ve briefly mentioned in my life that It feels stupid to let it get me down. I’m not gonna lie though, it has... i’m going through a wave of depression at the moment as a result of missing my Mother who passed away a couple months ago (as the holidays are coming up) and it no doubt helped with it. I thought maybe one positive thing could happen before the year ended, I thought it was meant to be, apparently not. I don’t want to get too down in the dumps so i’ll share a bit of positive news - on the other hand it looks as though i’m being accepted into the organisation and they’re hopefully going to help me with my future potential career in animation/ music production as well as help get me into college! (Some applications still need to be made but the interview went incredibly well and they seemed delighted to have me onboard!) i haven’t seen anyone there as it was just an interview but if I get in i’ll likely bump into her, in which case I would still like to try be friends, due to our common interests and all.. i also think it could be helpful and beneficial to make friends with a girl who is similar to myself to learn how to talk and be confident around them, even just as friends. Regardless of gender, I’ve honestly been hoping to one day meet someone around my age I could talk about my passion with. Any advice on becoming friends? Also - to those of you who urged me to make a move - i’m soooo glad i decided to wait it out and take it slow, oh god, it would have been incredibly awkward if i had made a move in the group itself.
I’m sorry man. I feel sad as I’m typing this. I was pulling for ya.
I think the best thing that can help you take your mind off the disappointment is thinking about other girls that you know and are interested in and wonder if they’d be someone for you. And as far as being friends with her, if it’s too difficult for you because you know she’ll never be your gf, you don’t have to be friends with her. Do what makes you comfortable.
Hang in there, pal!
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Early 20s male with Asperger’s and what feels like a mood disorder
You should realize that many ND women identify as lesbian and asexual because they cannot identify with typical gender identities and because they dislike the typical sexual behavior. So, if your primary goal is not a typical sexual relationship, you can probably ignore this and continue to pursue her as a friend and potentially more too.
Thanks a lot CubsBullsBears. I appreciate it. I think i’m gonna focus on improving myself for a while and just forget about girls until another one hopefully comes along. Rdos i’m kind of confused as to what you’re saying, what do you mean by ND? Also, what do you mean I can still pursue her? I know i’m probably being a stalker here but I can’t get this girl out of my head... i realise nothing can happen romantically but I want to try be her friend. I saw she uploaded a video on youtube about coping with autism and I could relate to her on everything she was saying. I don’t know..i’m probably better off letting go and just going on about my life which is a mess at the moment..
Thanks Kraftiekortie for the clarification and yeah I agree, I don’t think it’s wise not to gi after someone who is attracted to the same sex, not worth it. Many potential risks with little reward, i’m a but conflicted in one way I still have a major crush and think it might be hard getting over her but in another i’m still fascinated by her and share so many similarities that I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be her friend...