Possible ways to help many autistic people find love?

Post Reply New Topic

To your question Mona the specific thing is called "Coffee House". It's a place where people on the spectrum go to learn how to interact with others and help with integrating us into society. You actually aren't forced to hug people, your opinions and issues aren't judged and most of all you get to meet more people on the spectrum.

Eventually though some things NTs do you will have to get comfortable with and cope with it and they help you with it as well. I have only been a client there for a year so I can't say much but some others in the program says it helps them(which is why I said one experience might be different from mine). Though to be fair I have been talking and communicating more than I normally did before I started.

They do help to try and help with you communicating with others but as far as the topic goes, finding love hasn't been really all that successful(though I did meet a girl there that I did like)... Okay maybe if I attend more often I might actually find help in finding love. I just contradicted my entire last post!

In mainland China, everything is the State's responsibility.

In response to some feedback I received via PM, I've made the following changes to the web page:

In part 1, I added the following new paragraph:

In part 2, I changed "earn a good living" to "support themselves financially," although it's my impression that cultural expectations in this regard have ratcheted up in recent years (due to rising economic inequality, and due to mass market dating app culture), at least here in the U.S.A. Perhaps things are better in some other countries?

All I can tell you as a NT guy I had strick guide lines I followed when dating if a women was the controling type I did not pursue a relationship with her found a way to break it off. I never dated a divorce women. I never dated a single mom nothing wrong with any of them it is just not for me. I prefer the loyal to a fault sweet AS girl over most NT girls any day of the week.

To be honest,I'm not very sure this stuff that the OP suggested will help.First of all,how many NT's are willing to create a Autistic friendly workplace being most don't know what Asperger/Autism is or simply don't care .Secondly,even if Sadle Hawkins Club was created or if Social expectations changed to where women were expected to approach men instead of men approaching women,this would mainly benefit men with Social Anxiety or men who have a shy personality. However, I really don't see how this would help men with Aspergers/Autism being that a lot of us have social difficulties,and women can tell a difference between having Social Anxiety/shyness, and actually having social difficulties.I would say the best solution is the first option,where AS/ASD people meet with other AS/ASD people far as dating goes,but even then that comes with it's own problems being that men outnumber women 4:1 along the Autism spectrum(atleast those who are diagnosed anyway).

Sure, have a "Sadie Hawkins" club; but how will that help those men whose every sentence seems to involve tales of past insults, stories about how Group X has it better, and how they will never find a girlfriend anyway?

It seems to me that while the concept of such a club might be a good thing, its implementation can go only so far toward helping those men who seem weirdly determined to be lonely and miserable forever.

There already exist some autistic-friendly workplaces (and/or attempts at creating them, at least), including efforts both by major corporations and by small businesses, the latter usually owned by relatively well-to-do NT parents of autistic people. See the separate thread Autistic-friendly workplaces. There probably are quite a few other well-to-do parents of autistic people who might be inspired to create autistic-friendly businesses if there were more highly visible sources of free advice on how to do so.


Indeed the Sadie Hawkins clubs wouldn't solve the entire problem for heterosexual autistic men, but they would help to solve one aspect of the problem. Hopefully the Sadie Hawkins clubs would attract women who also are generally open-minded and forward-thinking. Whether they would be open to dating autistic men would probably depend, in part, on the success of item 2 in my article (an annual media blitz around the proposed "Neurodiverse Couples Week" or something similar).

To me the big question about the Sadie Hawkins clubs is how many women would be interested in them at all, in the first place. Personally I've always hated the idea of being confined to a passive role, but I don't yet have any idea what percentage of women feel similarly (but are currently afraid to say so).


Exactly, which is why more options than just that are needed.

It’s ok for my detractors to have preferences but they give me flack for having my own. They just don’t want me to have a girlfriend.

It's fine for you to have preferences. But, it seems to me, you need to do whatever you can to arrange your life (e.g. by moving to Austin) so you can meet more of the kind of women you like.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 04 Mar 2020, 12:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've added the following to the bottom of the web page, as a footnote on part 1, about finding partners within the autistic community:

If anyone wants to help out with researching various possible online platforms for the above-mentioned purpose, please PM me.

I just don’t know how much longer I can wait. I sometimes fear that I am doomed and I should kill myself so I will no longer suffer.

I'm very sorry to hear that you feel this way, but could we please talk about it in one of your threads? Feel free to post a link here to whichever thread of yours you deem appropriate to move this to. Thanks.

viewtopic.php?t=385378

I know this is lousy feedback, but I like everything I see in this project/premise so far.

Will peruse this when I get an hour or so and see if there's anything else I can suggest. Right now just offering encouragement. You're on precisely the right track.

@Mona Pareth: I've re-read both this thread and the webpage to which you referred. Your concept seems to be evolving nicely. You have addressed most of my concerns in a clear and concise manner.

However, there still seems to be a gap into which people who have practically given up on themselves fall -- what about those people whose outlook has gone beyond pessimism to utter defeatism? Many of them seem to still desire a personal connection, but express dismay at the possibility of ever attaining one.

Also, how would you differentiate between those "pests" whom you mention in the footnote and the genuine seekers who are socially awkward to an extreme degree? They may be indistinguishable from each other.

If this were successful then maybe those who have given up might have a glimmer of hope to reach for and it may motivate them.