Forever being alone as a Aspie

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Perhaps the direct approach wold work. Ask the guy out directly or specially tell him your interested in him. Some NT guys complain about women not being direct enough with them. It's pretty common for shows & male standup comics to make jokes about how they misunderstand women.

Unless your the guy in a porno movie

I dont see why they would improve any. The odds are stacked against us, heavily. Thats not likely to ever change.

That being said, there are worse things than never dating. My life is a trail of failed relationships that in hindsight now at the age of 35 have not benefited me in any way. They have benefited the women, but never me. Infact I can say with near 100% certainty I'm in a worse position now than i would have been if i hadn't had those relationships.

Dating isnt lucky, finding the right person is lucky.

Would i do it again if I could go back in time? No. I'd like to see how I'd have turned out without all the mental scarring I've accumulated over the years.

So it's basically hopeless and pointless for us as Aspie men to even try to date(or even talk to women who aren't family members for that matter) and we should get out of the way and allow everyone else,including Aspie Women,people with Down Syndrome,and people with Intellectual disabilities to date? You believe that people with intellectual disabilities or people with other severe developmental disabilities have a better of dating than us? I think it's only like 5-10% of Aspie men who date(tho I could be wrong on that).Of course there's worse things besides never getting to date(like being in a warzone,being in severe poverty,etc)With that said,going through a entire life time alone(no romantic partner or friends) could be a struggle.I have always knew that odds were stacked against us,however I never knew it was completely hopeless,tho it could actually be. If so,I think Aspie men (including myself)are simply wasting our time trying to reach out/talking to females,tho to be fair,I haven't initiated a conversation with women within the last couple of years.

I will note that as a female autistic, things really don't look any more promising for me than for you. The fact that I don't want the attention doesn't change the fact that I don't get the attention. I don't have "asexual" tattooed on my forehead or anything - men don't know unless I tell them. And there is just as much chance that someone(s) have been interested in you but not shown it as there is for me. It's easier to get sex if you're female because there are plenty of men who will f*** anything with a vagina, but a relationship that goes beyond "regular source of sex" (and/or "domestic slave" and/or "emotional punching bag")? I think that's just as hard to get for us. Admittedly my autism presents itself in a more masculine way, but at least some of us have the exact same social struggles as you do, and while some men may find it cute or something, there are also women who will find it cute or something in a man - I've seen it happen numerous times.

I think the truth is that every society has an ideal of what's considered attractive, whether that's physical or non-physical attributes. In the case for men in western society, the physical ideal is being tall, being fit, being good looking, etc... And the further you are away from this physical ideal, the harder it's going to be to date. A 6 ft 2, tall, good looking and charismatic guy is going to have a way different experience than a 5 ft tall, fat, balding indian male. But looks arne't all of the picture since there are plenty of men who arne't conventionally attractive who find someone. That's why there are other attributes as well that can make dating easier or harder.

And then there are some people who are so far from society's ideal, that dating is almost next to impossible for these people. Sometimes it's attributes that somebody can control, and other times, it's not.

And I feel like people with autism, particularly men with autism, are more likely than the neurotypical population to find dating hard and even in some cases, next to impossible for several reasons. For one thing, a high percentage of people with autism are unemployed, and the ones that do work often work jobs they're overqualified for; for instance a college graduate in IT working a minimum wage job. Other times it's poor hygiene issues, being socially awkward, not to mention people with autism are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. Now you can understand why for many people with autism, dating is much harder.

You're right in principle. However, for me this is a while in the past and I'm no longer looking for a relationship. The first case of this also happened while I still had some form of selective mutism and you can't talk while you can't talk. The guys' decision to give up on interacting with me and try with other, hopefully psychologically more healthy, girls was the right decision. I really wasn't the right person to try to date. However, in some cases there seemed to be the assumption that I rejected them, which was not my intention. Wrong assumption, right decision. This social anxiety/selective mutism thing used to be a much bigger problem for me than autism.

I just commented to say that in that regard my experience matches that of DaniDiNardo. Conversation skills matter for dating success, also if you're female, and the reason why guys quickly quit trying is sometimes that they assume the girl with bad conversation skills is not interested (in other cases they may not be interested in dating a girl with bad social skills, which is fine, but sometimes it seems to be an assumption that she is not interested).

My boyfriend is a fellow aspie, I had to choose between 3 guys and my heart couldn’t say no to him. I would suggest you go for timid women, exotic ones and popular- very lusted ones usually may not even look for something serious and you will also have lots of competition. Unless you are fine with that. Also use social media to your advantage and dating apps. I’d suggest finding someone who’s accepting, calm and intellectual.

Shoot! There goes that plan!

What is a "timid" woman?

Basically shy, introverted, homebody type. Unfortunately I wouldn't be a good match for one due to my love of being out and about

I haven't met a single woman who has been accepting towards my Aspie traits. Doesn't matter if she's extreme extrovert or a extreme introvert or in between. Doesn't matter if she's intellectual or not. Doesn't if she's more"understanding" and "accepting" of people differences or not. Doesn't matter if she's popular or not. Doesn't matter if she's shy or not. Doesn't matter if she's nerdy or not. One thing that all these woman have in common is the fact they ether dislike me or even hate me,no matter how much I try to improve on my personality. Men are just so much more accepting of a woman's Aspie traits than vice versa,which is probably the main reason why it's so much easier for Aspie women to date than it is Aspie men to date.Women just don't like me and my Aspie traits and have always treated me poorly and/or rejected me for it.A lot them even seem have a b*tchy attitude towards me as well.So far I haven't met a female who ever liked me at all, even on a friendship level,let alone on a romantic level.If there's a single woman at all that accept a man with Asperger Syndrome,they must not exist in my area.

So what are your "Aspie traits?"

I do have social Awkwardness,which is something that has effected me the most in my daily life.I always been shy and awkward. There's times I struggle with body language and understand if people like me or not. I often don't express myself clearly. I also often speak in monotone as well,however not all the time. I also a bit sensitive when it comes to certain things.I don't necessarily hate change,but same time,there are times I feel a bit uncomfortable with it.I also look at the world a different way from others. Overall however,I'm pretty mild on the AS/ASD Spectrum. It doesn't seem to matter tho since women have treated me poorly throughout my life and not a single female have ever showed interest in me at all.Not a romantic relationship way or even in a friendship way.

What does your life look like? (Do you live alone? Do you drive? Do you have a car? Do you have a job?)
Do you have many friends? Do you have any friends who are women?
Do you have any hobbies? Do you get out and go places, see things, do things?

When you say women have treated you poorly - how do you mean? How have they treated you poorly?

I used to have a job(not that it made any real difference far as if women like me or not),but I was laid off.I do live alone in my apartment,however I don't have a car at the moment. My hobbies includes bowling,Writing,gaming(tho been less interested with gaming lately),Writing,reading,photography,sports(mainly basketball and Motorsports),and history.


Well,females have always disliked or even hate me since my childhood. During Elementary school,a girl got me in trouble because she claimed I said a curse word,which caused problems. Back in my teenage years,I tried to asked this one girl out,but instead she said she already had a boyfriend only to find at the time I was asking her out she was single,so she lied to me.Others who I asked during High School simply wanted nothing to do with me. In College,there was this one girl from College I asked after talk with her for a couple in School Campus, I asked can have her phone number and her Email.Well she did gave me her email and phone number,but we mostly used email. After a several massages(specifically about once per week),and about 2 months later,I asked if do she want to hang out with me and she said she busy.I asked her again a week she said the same thing.I asked again a few weeks later, she said the same thing again.After a while,it was clear she wasn't interested in me in romantic or friendship way so,I decided to drop all contact with her.Other females I tried to converse with,they rejected before I even had a chance to get know them at all.Overall it just seem Women feel awkward and maybe even embarrassed to be around me and talk with me.

During out my adulthood/post College,women been b*tchy towards me. Just like my High School and College years, rejection was my only reality and many even stood up against me.Even who didn't they were neutral towards me and had zero interested in me whatsoever.For more than a year to almost two years now,I have pretty much stop trying. So one of the questions was if I have females friends .Of course not.Women don't even like me enough to have just a simple friendship.Don't even seem like women enjoy my conversations and find them to be ether awkward or boring.

Last edited by rick42 on 19 Apr 2020, 9:45 pm, edited 4 times in total.

I frequent another forum called Makeupalley (the cafe one) and I place much of the onus squarely on the NT women.. the way on those forums they speak about any man (or woman sometimes) who is awkward socially. i mean.. innocuous stuff... i always try to speak up and voice why they might be doing that and if the person is good otherwise how can you allow your friends/family to look down on them, or you yourself be mean to them (i dont say it that bluntly but i think it ) ...

they say stuff like dump XYZ becuase he doesnt give eye contact when shaking your sister's hand!!?!

so yeah. lots of cruel, judgemental with no basis, psychopath-esque NT people in this world.


and NT women are especially cruel overall, to anyone that doesn't pass their filters regardless of gender or situation . they are the type of people who would in days past, be part of the crowd with torches to burn the 'witch' or 'warlock' among them.

probably incite the crowd, bloodthirsty lot they are even being educated and experienced-- any time they get a whiff of a chance to rag on someone and place blame on the person, not ever accepting that another view or scenario can exist. all the intentions they ascribe to innocuous awkwardness or misunderstandings (on THEIR part) to the other person, are truly insane.