23 Jul 2020, 6:10 am
blooiejagwa wrote:
a lot of concepts NTs don't grasp autistics can, instinctively, and NTs write 'soul searching' type books about it like eat pray love and we already knew those things because our brains work on several levels not like theirs which focuses from point A to point B quickly and without the extra nuances (which are relevant) that our minds take in. their filters are too strong, they have to weaken their filters (selectively) as they mature in order to be ACTUALLY mature (in a spiritual sense)
at least we have that
at least we have that
We aspies tend to go into more detail, yes.
NTs tend to be more superficial, based on my experiences.
23 Jul 2020, 6:13 am
blooiejagwa wrote:
Dr Tony Attwood wrote about it in this way (sorry for barrage of posts- relevant thoughts keep occurring to me when i thought i was done)
-
he said in many respects even very seemingly high functioning people who fit in better,
still have levels of 12-year old maturity, even as middle aged people and up... and so can have outbursts or reactions which, after the fact, embarrass them (but he basically said shouldn't be embarrassed and just pick yourself up etc)
i read it in his book 'complete guide to aspergers syndrome' i believe
-
he said in many respects even very seemingly high functioning people who fit in better,
still have levels of 12-year old maturity, even as middle aged people and up... and so can have outbursts or reactions which, after the fact, embarrass them (but he basically said shouldn't be embarrassed and just pick yourself up etc)
i read it in his book 'complete guide to aspergers syndrome' i believe
I got a lot of information about autism by reading what Tony Attwood had to say, about 20 years ago.
23 Jul 2020, 6:15 am
kraftiekortie wrote:
I’m very close to being 60 (in a little more than 5 months).
I honestly feel like I only attained adulthood over the last five years or so.....and not quite completely.
I honestly feel like I only attained adulthood over the last five years or so.....and not quite completely.
NTs, look at you funny if you don't act your age.
It doesn't bother me.
I find it amusing.
23 Jul 2020, 6:39 am
usagibryan wrote:
I still feel like a teenager, I honestly still wish I was back in school.
Same here! I still group people into what would've been their respective cliques in high school (jock, prep, goth, etc.). Also explains why I prefer 18-23 y.o. women partially in order to make of for no GF back then
23 Jul 2020, 6:49 am
23 Jul 2020, 7:58 am
23 Jul 2020, 8:48 am
Pepe wrote:
I think this is relatively common for those on the spectrum.
Some have had their social development severely ret*d, through no fault of their own.
I know it is true in my case.
Part of the problem we auties have to endure is being a minority in the NT dominated social structure.
We have to adapt to a toxic social mindset that is dominated by lies, deception and a predatory hierarchical social system that often "Takes No Prisoners".
While I have resolved this phenomenon, of having a young mind in a mature body myself, I still feel cheated by life's circumstances.
Some have had their social development severely ret*d, through no fault of their own.
I know it is true in my case.
Part of the problem we auties have to endure is being a minority in the NT dominated social structure.
We have to adapt to a toxic social mindset that is dominated by lies, deception and a predatory hierarchical social system that often "Takes No Prisoners".
While I have resolved this phenomenon, of having a young mind in a mature body myself, I still feel cheated by life's circumstances.
My disdain for hierarchical social systems is why I'm a lefty. This is an interesting topic btw. How else would you define having a childlike nature and it's relation to being on the spectrum?
I...
- Wear my heart on my sleeve, show my emotions on my face with no filter.
- Get really excited/giddy when I'm in a good mood and make observations about everything.
- Preoccupied with learning "school subjects" (History, Science, etc). If I could go back in time and be a kid it'd be to experience school again, I'm almost considering giving myself homework.
- I like games and toys, and bright colors and cool fun things. I like my Nintendo Switch, I like my Rubik's cube, I like my Luigi doll, I like comic books, I like corny jokes, I like wearing colorful clothing. I'm looking into adult coloring books. If I were brave enough I'd wear a wacky bow tie. Some of this is probably associated with nerdiness or being a "man-child". The trick is to try and make it look cool or functional, or subtle.
- I like "cute" things and respond with enthusiasm to cute things (clothes, pets, stuffed animals, etc). My voice gets higher. I think this is more associated with femininity though. I feel I have to suppress this reaction in male company.
Pepe wrote:
usagibryan wrote:
I still feel like a teenager, I honestly still wish I was back in school.
I think there is a lot of that sort of feeling, with those on the spectrum.
Also, consider:
One of the characteristics, which is common with those who are autistic, is having a *child-like* attitude, as opposed to a *childish* one.
I read somewhere that this is because part of our brain doesn't develop, the way NT brains do.
While NTs are often charmed by our child-like nature, it does interfere with our pursuit of finding a partner for reproduction purposes.
I.E. NTs are designed better for the mating game than we are.
Yes, I seem to have no instinct when it comes to the dating game. It does help dating nerds though. I'm also considering seeking out other people to date who are also on the spectrum. I'm not asexual but I wish I was so I wouldn't have to think about or navigate sex, just find a partner who I can cuddle with and play Mario Maker. I'm bisexual which comes with it's own set of problems but one advantage is I find it much easier to interact with men, there is much less "game" involved. You go on Grindr and say "hey", the other guy says "hey" and it's pretty much assumed you are both interested. I don't need a pickup line and I don't have to take the lead, or worry about when to make a move, because men will do that half the time. If I was straight I would have no sex life.
23 Jul 2020, 10:53 am
Temeraire wrote:
Quote:
We all live by “social clocks” — we gauge our lives by all sorts of beliefs that there is a “right age” for this of that attitude, this or that behavior. We often adjust our own clock — social and biological — to sync with those around us, becoming older in the process. But mindsets are not fate. Langer’s mind-body hypothesis predicts that just as social cues can make us feel old, other social cues can make us feel and act young. These could include everything from Botox to aerobics class to being around children, including grandchildren.
So it's true:
"You are only as old as the woman/man you feel."
23 Jul 2020, 11:26 am
usagibryan wrote:
My disdain for hierarchical social systems is why I'm a lefty. This is an interesting topic btw. How else would you define having a childlike nature and it's relation to being on the spectrum?
I'm assuming you mean lefty as in politics, and not that you use your left hand for writing.
The left side of politics does tend to attract those with a more youthful mindset.
usagibryan wrote:
I...
- Wear my heart on my sleeve, show my emotions on my face with no filter.
- Get really excited/giddy when I'm in a good mood and make observations about everything.
- Preoccupied with learning "school subjects" (History, Science, etc). If I could go back in time and be a kid it'd be to experience school again, I'm almost considering giving myself homework.
- I like games and toys, and bright colors and cool fun things. I like my Nintendo Switch, I like my Rubik's cube, I like my Luigi doll, I like comic books, I like corny jokes, I like wearing colorful clothing. I'm looking into adult coloring books. If I were brave enough I'd wear a wacky bow tie. Some of this is probably associated with nerdiness or being a "man-child". The trick is to try and make it look cool or functional, or subtle.
- I like "cute" things and respond with enthusiasm to cute things (clothes, pets, stuffed animals, etc). My voice gets higher. I think this is more associated with femininity though. I feel I have to suppress this reaction in male company.
- Wear my heart on my sleeve, show my emotions on my face with no filter.
- Get really excited/giddy when I'm in a good mood and make observations about everything.
- Preoccupied with learning "school subjects" (History, Science, etc). If I could go back in time and be a kid it'd be to experience school again, I'm almost considering giving myself homework.
- I like games and toys, and bright colors and cool fun things. I like my Nintendo Switch, I like my Rubik's cube, I like my Luigi doll, I like comic books, I like corny jokes, I like wearing colorful clothing. I'm looking into adult coloring books. If I were brave enough I'd wear a wacky bow tie. Some of this is probably associated with nerdiness or being a "man-child". The trick is to try and make it look cool or functional, or subtle.
- I like "cute" things and respond with enthusiasm to cute things (clothes, pets, stuffed animals, etc). My voice gets higher. I think this is more associated with femininity though. I feel I have to suppress this reaction in male company.
I don't think I was ever really embarrassed by acting younger than my biological age.
I was never into poncing around, trying to impress women. I actually felt that doing so was embarrassing.
Can't most on the spectrum relate to this?
The trouble is, showing your "Peacock Feathers" is usually how you attract your opposite number in the dating game.
I find it rather absurd, myself.
So, once again, doesn't this show the superiority of NTs, generally speaking, when it comes to courtship rituals?
usagibryan wrote:
Pepe wrote:
usagibryan wrote:
I still feel like a teenager, I honestly still wish I was back in school.
I think there is a lot of that sort of feeling, with those on the spectrum.
Also, consider:
One of the characteristics, which is common with those who are autistic, is having a *child-like* attitude, as opposed to a *childish* one.
I read somewhere that this is because part of our brain doesn't develop, the way NT brains do.
While NTs are often charmed by our child-like nature, it does interfere with our pursuit of finding a partner for reproduction purposes.
I.E. NTs are designed better for the mating game than we are.
Yes, I seem to have no instinct when it comes to the dating game. It does help dating nerds though. I'm also considering seeking out other people to date who are also on the spectrum.
I find women on the spectrum more attractive.
usagibryan wrote:
I'm not asexual but I wish I was so I wouldn't have to think about or navigate sex, just find a partner who I can cuddle with and play Mario Maker.
The male aspie's dream partner.
23 Jul 2020, 11:28 am
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I'm 19 but so far don't feel like I've really matured much past 11-13. I kind of hit that age and then have felt pretty much the same in most aspects since then.
We are known for our delayed social development.
that1weirdgrrrl
Veteran
Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,090
Location: Between my dreams and your fantasies
23 Jul 2020, 5:50 pm
Almost 40.... I am secretly 16
I was a little confused by cyber dad post..... is he black? (To be clear, if he is black, I dont mind. I like black people. I just didn't understand why he brought it up)
23 Jul 2020, 6:12 pm
that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
Almost 40.... I am secretly 16
I was a little confused by cyber dad post..... is he black? (To be clear, if he is black, I dont mind. I like black people. I just didn't understand why he brought it up)
I was a little confused by cyber dad post..... is he black? (To be clear, if he is black, I dont mind. I like black people. I just didn't understand why he brought it up)
Well, at least you are at "The the age of consent", in some parts of the world.
24 Jul 2020, 12:33 am
that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
Almost 40.... I am secretly 16
I was a little confused by cyber dad post..... is he black? (To be clear, if he is black, I dont mind. I like black people. I just didn't understand why he brought it up)
I was a little confused by cyber dad post..... is he black? (To be clear, if he is black, I dont mind. I like black people. I just didn't understand why he brought it up)
Wait.,..what? I never said that??
24 Jul 2020, 1:47 am
24 Jul 2020, 1:57 am
Pepe wrote:
I.E. NTs are designed better for the mating game than we are.
Not quite. NTs have their own dating game that we often don't understand (or even appreciate), but many NDs try to use the NT mating game anyway because they don't have any alternatives to try. A few of us (potentially mostly older) NDs might have stumbled upon the ND mating game in high school because we acted naturally back then and didn't receive any sex or relationship information from anybody.
24 Jul 2020, 7:36 am
rdos wrote:
Pepe wrote:
So, anyone interested in posting their real age and the age they feel?
I am over 60,
But I feel more like I'm in my 30's.
I am over 60,
But I feel more like I'm in my 30's.
I'm a bit under 60, and I also feel like 30 or something. I find the mindset of those my own age as boring. It's a bit like they are just waiting to become buried, sometimes after having traveled around the globe. So, it's not just that I feel younger, I also think I have many of the preferences of those in their 30s.
As I mentioned earlier, apparently we auties have an undeveloped part of the brain that keeps us more child-like (please note the difference between being child-like and child-ish).
I don't have a problem with that, and I don't give a damn what NTs think.
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