Very few women want Aspie men

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I am not like this at all.
My partner/s needs have always been my focus of attention.
It is a spectrum, after all.

Ill keep trying, though i wont give up, my best bet is another aspie but many female aspies are hard to find or are misdiagnosed, maybe a feminist that gets paid the same as me i might get luck, im a feminist myself a sex positive rational feminist. Ill keep looking im not good at making moves and very shy though im sorry.

You shouldn't look for diagnosed partners, especially not if you are diagnosed yourself. Learn how to identify neurodiverse people, and then you will have a "pool" of potential ND partners. Just don't date them in the NT way. Meet them in activities so you can observe them at a distance and then your brains will more or less automatically form a connection if there is "chemistry".

Sounds like good advice.

Vegeta - this is very true. It can be very demoralizing and demeaning and frustrating. But I am trying to look at it this way.....I was alone for 12 years (with just my children). At least now I am not. There are worse men in the world and at least we like the same things even if we are just room mates because believe me....that's what we are. I had a boyfriend who adored me in the past and put me on a pedestal....I had an ex husband and we had amazing sex.....so I don't have any of that now (but I did). No touching, no verbal communication of affection.....no affection what-so-ever. Like I said, I can't even tell if he likes me and when I bring it up to him....he calls me dramatic. The Neurotyp website says it's Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome....I can understand how and why. I am not even a year in......

But there are worse things in life. And he has children at home and they are also challenging. I moved in with him but most of my stuff is in storage so I can always leave. Once I realized that.....I was ok. I'm not "stuck" here forever if I don't want to be here and trust me, every day I question that. But he can learn and make changes. My ASD therapist taught me that. : )

Vegeta you can "learn" how to be affectionate and enjoy it if you are not. You can learn how to have a loving and caring relationship and be honest and true to you, if you want. Find an ASD/ADD or whatever it is you are, therapist and get appropriate therapy. It helps. There is no reason why you can't have a great relationship with someone who loves and adores you back.

Right now I am going inwards and shutting down ALL MY FEELINGS because of him. It's awful. Dating was supposed t be fun. I have lost so much weight my doc sends me for tests constantly. : ( My ass still looks great though so that's still a plus. So if you don't want to do this to a woman....go find a therapist that specializes in ASD and learn and be true to you at the same time and be open and honest with your girl. My guy is not open and honest with me because if he was.....we would be happy because I like him. Good luck Vegeta.

You know what?

So do I.

Aspies are subjected to significantly more stress than the average NTs. Stress unless it is adequately vented will build up and accumulate in the body and lead to distress. This can be seen in his meltdowns. If he can learn effective tools for venting the stress, his body will return to a state called homostasis. His more normal state.

Perhaps the following books may be of help.

"In an Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine
The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process" by David Berceli

Could you post a picture?

My ass-essment of you is that you can take this joke.

Never a truer word has been said.

They are wonderful. <sigh>

Ohhhhh Pepe.....you have no idea.....I have a great Ass-ssessment. It's my best feature : ) Tonight when I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, he looked at me in fear that I was going to want to have s*x with him. (He has children). I tried to initiate the discussion that everyone is telling me to have with him about s*x. He said, like he always does....he doesn't want to discuss it. He can no longer use the excuses that he's stressed, tired, stomach hurts, etc....He said the conversation wasn't normal. I said, Oh yes it was. I am screaming in my Head. Oh that's what I do. I scream in my head and I count things. LOL I don't scream for real.....it's sort of a euphemism. I am sort of a word nerd too and like to "play" with words. Did I scare you away from my, ass-ets? I said you never show me that you like me. You don't touch me. You don't say you love me. We are 9 months into this relationship. He said he hugs me. I'm like, no, I'm pretty sure it's me who hugs you. I can't take this rejection anymore. It HURTS. I am losing MYSELF. Where did I go? I want me back. But I'm scared Pepe that there is nothing better out there. : ( I hate this f*c*ed up world. : (

So Vegeta......this is why women don't want Aspie men.....they hurt you. Badly.

Thanks for generalizing about the way we were all born. Much appreciated. Keeping it classy.

I can't believe I'm bumping this topic we see every other week just to say how f****d up & sad it is that people are failing to fully see each other's humanity in favor of petty tirades about us not being good enough.

This is 2020 folks, we're supposed to be past this BS.

People are super positive about others lives, in general, unless those others are too different. Then they can't even accept our sexuality being different despite the fact that it's been a societal discussion for decades.

Are any of you seriously surprised that people are giving up? That's all you ever say we on the spectrum can or should do. I don't really want a love life anymore if it's only about testing me.

I assume the OP is talking primarily about NT women as Aspie women are rather rare to find in public spaces....

When I was your age the tendency was to think with my dick and not with my head. Hormones make us irrational.

As Kraftie said you need to improve your odds with NT females by doing your own investigation about "what they want"

There are more terrifying things than walking up to an NT girl including public speaking or job interviews.

You should not have to stay in a relationship because you fear no one else wants you. (This is a toxic thought and it can actually lead to putting yourself in dangerous situations. I'm not saying you are currently in such a situation, but it is wise to change this mentality so that it cannot sabotage you later).

You should stay in a relationship because you want to, because you enjoy being with your partner.

I hope that you two can work out how to make each other happy, or that you can peaceably part ways and find your own happiness