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Is there hope for me or should I give up? (2nd time I ask)

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Summer_Twilight
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29 Dec 2020, 1:55 pm

Marnkis,
I recently decided that it's time for me to meet some men, but I am using meet up.com where I can find people who have a shared interest. There is an excellent website to consider, "The Asperger Experts" and "Improve your social skills.com" with Daniel Wendler.



madbutnotmad
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29 Dec 2020, 2:05 pm

I recommend...

get a hobby so you have something else to focus your mind on

learn to meditate so that when your mind starts to dwell on destructive thoughts and emotions, you can distract your self back to your meditation / breath

join a club that has people who share the same interests

join a religious group that share the same religion

meet people, support each other, perhaps find someone who is good for you

if not, try different groups... search for someone who you love and who loves you



that1weirdgrrrl
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29 Dec 2020, 2:50 pm

I'm going on hiatus for a while. I just wanted to wish you well and happy 2021!

May it be a year of progress and happiness in your life :D


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Clueless2017
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29 Dec 2020, 7:24 pm

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
I'm going on hiatus for a while. I just wanted to wish you well and happy 2021!

May it be a year of progress and happiness in your life :D

... ... ...
Thank you...Best wishes to you, too...And come back soon... :heart: :heart: :heart:



sorrowfairiewhisper
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12 Jan 2021, 11:31 am

Marknis wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Honestly I think you should give up, and focus on other areas in life.


But what if focusing on those areas leads to a relationship? What would you tell me then?


Sometimes love comes to you when you're not looking.
As for those that say they don't want you to have a relationship, they have no right! love is something that is sacred, precious, deep and meaningful and everyone is worthy of love and deserves love or companionship, even if it's not a marriage, physical relationships or having a family in those cases. Even those that are mentally or physically handicap deserve love. Anyone that tells you otherwise, is messed up in the head! if family tell you to not have a relationship or don't want you to have basic rights as a human being, they're not meant to be in your life long term. Theirs someone for everyone, someones always out there that can connect with you, relate, have the same level of intellect or similar. Have the same goals, wants and needs or want the same things as you.Those that don't want to see you happy or with someone you love, is messed up in the head and have alot of personal issues. It's your life, your choice, your right!



sorrowfairiewhisper
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12 Jan 2021, 5:59 pm

Marknis wrote:
The first topic I made under my current name was in this sub-forum. It seems only fitting my final one should really be here and not in Haven. I asked the same thing when I first posted as well.

I really hoped one day I would post about finding love after going through constant trials of trying to break the vicious cycle of hopelessness that developed in me when I was 17 and every time I saw what looked like hope, it would just vanish like a vapor once I got close enough. One member who no longer posts, Alliekit, said she would post a celebratory thread for me if that day I found love ever came but she’s gone now and my life just never changes so that day feels unobtainable.

Undergoing TMS didn’t help my depression, going back to college was a nightmare, trying dating apps again was unproductive since I got constantly ghosted and the only person who actually said she wanted to meet disappeared without a trace, and even though people are still socializing even with COVID going on, I just don’t fit in anywhere.

I have so many ghosts of my failures here. They still laugh at me and won’t leave me alone. I wanted to defeat them but they are still winning.

But is there truly still any hope for me or should I really just give up?



Never give up!
If family don't want you to be happy due to there selfish needs then it's on them. Alot of people that hate others being happy, often have relationships problems themselves or underlying relationships issues with there own parents that they need to address and heal. They project it out onto others. However, if you're in danger or someone isn't treating you well then that's different, that means they don't want you to be at risk with this particular person.



sorrowfairiewhisper
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14 Jan 2021, 11:02 am

Never give up!
If family don't want you to be happy due to there selfish needs then it's on them. Alot of people that hate others being happy, often have relationships problems themselves or underlying relationships issues with there own parents that they need to address and heal. They project it out onto others. However, if you're in danger or someone isn't treating you well then that's different, that means they don't want you to be at risk with this particular person.No one should tell you whom you should or shouldn't love or tell you whether you should or shouldn't pro create! it's a fundamental human right.



Marknis
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14 Jan 2021, 3:02 pm

sorrowfairiewhisper wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Honestly I think you should give up, and focus on other areas in life.


But what if focusing on those areas leads to a relationship? What would you tell me then?


Sometimes love comes to you when you're not looking.
As for those that say they don't want you to have a relationship, they have no right! love is something that is sacred, precious, deep and meaningful and everyone is worthy of love and deserves love or companionship, even if it's not a marriage, physical relationships or having a family in those cases. Even those that are mentally or physically handicap deserve love. Anyone that tells you otherwise, is messed up in the head! if family tell you to not have a relationship or don't want you to have basic rights as a human being, they're not meant to be in your life long term. Theirs someone for everyone, someones always out there that can connect with you, relate, have the same level of intellect or similar. Have the same goals, wants and needs or want the same things as you.Those that don't want to see you happy or with someone you love, is messed up in the head and have alot of personal issues. It's your life, your choice, your right!


Thank you. I wish more people, especially in my area, thought like you.



Marknis
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16 Jan 2021, 4:53 am

Some have this false idea I only go after women of my ethnicity (Anglo-American) and not women of other ethnicities. In my experience in the Central Texas region, women from all backgrounds here tend to want the same things in men: someone who dresses snazzy, talks loud, likes to party, considers himself a Christian, doesn’t live with his mother, and has an aggressive edge to him. It doesn’t matter if he makes a six figure income or lives by paycheck to paycheck and lives in an expensive house or a low rent dumpy apartment. White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, and Arabic women in Central Texas don’t really differ in what they want from a man. It’s not a case of not fishing in multiple ponds, it’s more that I don’t meet any of the expectations men in my cultural region get.



auntblabby
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16 Jan 2021, 5:34 am

^^^you just got to move away from there! even if it is with just the shirt on your back.



Marknis
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16 Jan 2021, 5:06 pm

I often wonder if my life would’ve been different if I had went to a city public school instead of a Christian private city school and then a countryside public school. Even though women of all ethnic backgrounds in my culture pretty much want the same kind of men, maybe the larger number of people at the city school would’ve at least led to more meaningful social interactions?



dorkseid
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16 Jan 2021, 8:04 pm

auntblabby wrote:
this little bit has long given me a sort of cold comfort-

To the Loneliest One

There is in certain living souls
A quality of loneliness unspeakable
So great it must be shared
As company is shared by lesser beings.
Such a loneliness is mine; so know by this
That in immensity
There is one lonelier than you."

[Theodore Sturgeon- 1918-1985]

"Perhaps in the end, all that matters is this: that even for those who are lonely enough, long enough, to loneliness, there is an end."


Yes. Its called death.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jan 2021, 11:15 pm

Marknis wrote:
Some have this false idea I only go after women of my ethnicity (Anglo-American) and not women of other ethnicities. In my experience in the Central Texas region, women from all backgrounds here tend to want the same things in men: someone who dresses snazzy, talks loud, likes to party, considers himself a Christian, doesn’t live with his mother, and has an aggressive edge to him. It doesn’t matter if he makes a six figure income or lives by paycheck to paycheck and lives in an expensive house or a low rent dumpy apartment. White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, and Arabic women in Central Texas don’t really differ in what they want from a man. It’s not a case of not fishing in multiple ponds, it’s more that I don’t meet any of the expectations men in my cultural region get.



You’re starting to realize that it is not a regional matter.
Humans are genetically predetermined to a great extent.



dorkseid
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17 Jan 2021, 6:24 am

I actually generally find women of other races or ethnicities more attractive than my own. Its not a deal breaker, but its what I find myself gravitating to more often.



idntonkw
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19 Jan 2021, 12:11 am

Marknis wrote:
Some have this false idea I only go after women of my ethnicity (Anglo-American) and not women of other ethnicities. In my experience in the Central Texas region, women from all backgrounds here tend to want the same things in men: someone who dresses snazzy, talks loud, likes to party, considers himself a Christian, doesn’t live with his mother, and has an aggressive edge to him. It doesn’t matter if he makes a six figure income or lives by paycheck to paycheck and lives in an expensive house or a low rent dumpy apartment. White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, and Arabic women in Central Texas don’t really differ in what they want from a man. It’s not a case of not fishing in multiple ponds, it’s more that I don’t meet any of the expectations men in my cultural region get.


Try going to a Karoke meet up when COVID winds down. These people tend to be older, but also more mellow. Personally, I think the dating question distracts a portion of the men on the spectrum from achieving their potential in career, health, family, hobbies and housework. You end up unmotivated and giving up on yourself because you have like no potential to be a good date for a woman or experience the fun everyone else is having.



cyberdad
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19 Jan 2021, 1:48 am

I dunno but girls love pets. I also find cats are a lot like a girl, if you own a cat it and stroke it in public I have this strange intuition that you'll attract girls in your area