CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,350
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
20 Dec 2020, 11:22 pm
21 Dec 2020, 4:15 am
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The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,113
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
21 Dec 2020, 5:04 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,113
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
21 Dec 2020, 12:06 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You've mentioned you speak Arabic and that you're an ex-muslim Atheist, your situation is very similar to mine.
Let me guess....you're probably from a war-torn country, Iraq? Syria? Yemen? No legal residence, so you're probably a feeling political refugee. You don't have to say which, just nod.
Not quite. I was born in the US and I'm white. My mother converted to Islam and married a man from Libya when I was a kid. We moved to Libya when I was 7 and I lived there until I was 20. That's why I never had Libyan citizenship or legal residence.
I actually consider myself to be very lucky in that regard.
That explains your career.
Merry Christmas
23 Dec 2020, 7:09 am
23 Dec 2020, 7:44 am
23 Dec 2020, 8:10 pm
23 Dec 2020, 8:43 pm
25 Dec 2020, 6:13 pm
26 Dec 2020, 12:53 am
26 Dec 2020, 1:36 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Merry Christmas
Seems a religious thing. How to teach them all a bit of 'flower power' spirit?
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Life has to be an adventure!Rexi
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Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
26 Dec 2020, 6:28 am
27 Dec 2020, 8:27 pm
Tross wrote:
I guess I'm not a late bloomer afterall. I'm 32, still a virgin, but I'm with my second girlfriend, and feel like it's actually going to work out this time.
I approach relationships differently from most people though. I've known far too many people who only seem to be happy if they're in a relationship and who define themselves by who they're with. I instead see myself as being metaphorically like an instrument, where the tune that is my life will carry on regardless of whether I'm with someone or not. The way I see it, if I meet another instrument and the tune we produce together is worse than what I produced alone, then I'm best off being a solo act. However, if we're able to produce a tune together that's better than what I can produce alone...then that's a relationship worth pursuing. It's all about harmony, really.
I'm not interested in being tied down or held back, and never was. I don't need someone else to "complete me". I don't need to fulfil some society expectation or biological push to help reproduce the human race. Companionship is something I'm definitely interested in, although I can get some of that with my network of friends, as well as my church family. No, I need to feel as though my life is objectively better when I'm with someone, and I think my current gf checks that box.
Also, relationships are one area where it's very easy to fall into the trap of playing the game of life by neurotypical rules and expectations. So what if your NT friends and family have settled down before you? Maybe you're simply holding yourself to a standard that you really don't need to. What's important is whether or not you're happy, and while I think a relationship with the right person is great, being in one for the sake of being in one is way overrated. There has to be so much more to you than whether or not you're with someone.
I approach relationships differently from most people though. I've known far too many people who only seem to be happy if they're in a relationship and who define themselves by who they're with. I instead see myself as being metaphorically like an instrument, where the tune that is my life will carry on regardless of whether I'm with someone or not. The way I see it, if I meet another instrument and the tune we produce together is worse than what I produced alone, then I'm best off being a solo act. However, if we're able to produce a tune together that's better than what I can produce alone...then that's a relationship worth pursuing. It's all about harmony, really.
I'm not interested in being tied down or held back, and never was. I don't need someone else to "complete me". I don't need to fulfil some society expectation or biological push to help reproduce the human race. Companionship is something I'm definitely interested in, although I can get some of that with my network of friends, as well as my church family. No, I need to feel as though my life is objectively better when I'm with someone, and I think my current gf checks that box.
Also, relationships are one area where it's very easy to fall into the trap of playing the game of life by neurotypical rules and expectations. So what if your NT friends and family have settled down before you? Maybe you're simply holding yourself to a standard that you really don't need to. What's important is whether or not you're happy, and while I think a relationship with the right person is great, being in one for the sake of being in one is way overrated. There has to be so much more to you than whether or not you're with someone.
... ... ...
I totally get you...You are describing ME, really enjoying being SINGLE...Enjoying the company of wonderful people and wonderful activities...Like you, I never wanted to marry for the sake of marriage...I believe in love; I just thought it happens to other people NOT me
...I honestly did not believe the man for me existed...But i did not become bitter...I did the best i could with my circumstances...In fact, i accomplished great things... 
I could have married an NT like me in my younger years when i got at least three marriage proposals...They were all attractive suitors, but i simply could not see myself in the future with any of them...Still a true virgin at age 47, i finally met he who inspired marriage, he who became my beloved (Aspie) husband...We are soon approaching our second wedding anniversary...And we are still struggling in our neuro-diverse marriage due to his autistic traits...But i cannot imagine myself with anyone else...I KNOW THAT I AM BLESSED TO HAVE HIM
I always say that i am HAPPILY MARRIED not because my marriage is free of tribulation but because HAPPY single people make HAPPY married people...During our courtship, i remember one day, telling my then fiancé, at a time when he was depressed, "If you cannot join me in my happiness, then i will be happy for both of us"...I think that was a defining moment for our relationship...To date, my beloved (Aspie) husband struggles with depression, and i struggle with anxiety...And to date, regardless of circumstances, i try to be HAPPY for both of us...As a result, he is much happier now, I think
Anyway, best wishes to you and your girlfriend...Say hello to her from my behalf...And share your story with as many single people as possible...Because your ATTITUDE is the right attitude, and it is what attracts others to you...I know, because this has been my experience...
Rexi
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Gender: Female
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Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
28 Dec 2020, 1:30 am
dorkseid wrote:
In regard to what Mona Pareth said about dating AS women: I found this video on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixgV5-OBQXg&t=183s
In the video, Adam talks about Tony Atwood's book and what men with AS look for in a woman. And one of those things is a woman is our exact opposite socially.
I want to know what some other people's thought on this our.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixgV5-OBQXg&t=183s
In the video, Adam talks about Tony Atwood's book and what men with AS look for in a woman. And one of those things is a woman is our exact opposite socially.
I want to know what some other people's thought on this our.
The only thing he seems to mention is a long term relationship. Many people want that but very few can do it.
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Rexi
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Joined: 3 Sep 2017
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Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
28 Dec 2020, 1:41 am
Clueless2017 wrote:
Tross wrote:
I guess I'm not a late bloomer afterall. I'm 32, still a virgin, but I'm with my second girlfriend, and feel like it's actually going to work out this time.
I approach relationships differently from most people though. I've known far too many people who only seem to be happy if they're in a relationship and who define themselves by who they're with. I instead see myself as being metaphorically like an instrument, where the tune that is my life will carry on regardless of whether I'm with someone or not. The way I see it, if I meet another instrument and the tune we produce together is worse than what I produced alone, then I'm best off being a solo act. However, if we're able to produce a tune together that's better than what I can produce alone...then that's a relationship worth pursuing. It's all about harmony, really.
I'm not interested in being tied down or held back, and never was. I don't need someone else to "complete me". I don't need to fulfil some society expectation or biological push to help reproduce the human race. Companionship is something I'm definitely interested in, although I can get some of that with my network of friends, as well as my church family. No, I need to feel as though my life is objectively better when I'm with someone, and I think my current gf checks that box.
Also, relationships are one area where it's very easy to fall into the trap of playing the game of life by neurotypical rules and expectations. So what if your NT friends and family have settled down before you? Maybe you're simply holding yourself to a standard that you really don't need to. What's important is whether or not you're happy, and while I think a relationship with the right person is great, being in one for the sake of being in one is way overrated. There has to be so much more to you than whether or not you're with someone.
I approach relationships differently from most people though. I've known far too many people who only seem to be happy if they're in a relationship and who define themselves by who they're with. I instead see myself as being metaphorically like an instrument, where the tune that is my life will carry on regardless of whether I'm with someone or not. The way I see it, if I meet another instrument and the tune we produce together is worse than what I produced alone, then I'm best off being a solo act. However, if we're able to produce a tune together that's better than what I can produce alone...then that's a relationship worth pursuing. It's all about harmony, really.
I'm not interested in being tied down or held back, and never was. I don't need someone else to "complete me". I don't need to fulfil some society expectation or biological push to help reproduce the human race. Companionship is something I'm definitely interested in, although I can get some of that with my network of friends, as well as my church family. No, I need to feel as though my life is objectively better when I'm with someone, and I think my current gf checks that box.
Also, relationships are one area where it's very easy to fall into the trap of playing the game of life by neurotypical rules and expectations. So what if your NT friends and family have settled down before you? Maybe you're simply holding yourself to a standard that you really don't need to. What's important is whether or not you're happy, and while I think a relationship with the right person is great, being in one for the sake of being in one is way overrated. There has to be so much more to you than whether or not you're with someone.
... ... ...
I totally get you...You are describing ME, really enjoying being SINGLE...Enjoying the company of wonderful people and wonderful activities...Like you, I never wanted to marry for the sake of marriage...I believe in love; I just thought it happens to other people NOT me
...I honestly did not believe the man for me existed...But i did not become bitter...I did the best i could with my circumstances...In fact, i accomplished great things... I could have married an NT like me in my younger years when i got at least three marriage proposals...They were all attractive suitors, but i simply could not see myself in the future with any of them...Still a true virgin at age 47, i finally met he who inspired marriage, he who became my beloved (Aspie) husband...We are soon approaching our second wedding anniversary...And we are still struggling in our neuro-diverse marriage due to his autistic traits...But i cannot imagine myself with anyone else...I KNOW THAT I AM BLESSED TO HAVE HIM
I always say that i am HAPPILY MARRIED not because my marriage is free of tribulation but because HAPPY single people make HAPPY married people...During our courtship, i remember one day, telling my then fiancé, at a time when he was depressed, "If you cannot join me in my happiness, then i will be happy for both of us"...I think that was a defining moment for our relationship...To date, my beloved (Aspie) husband struggles with depression, and i struggle with anxiety...And to date, regardless of circumstances, i try to be HAPPY for both of us...As a result, he is much happier now, I think
Anyway, best wishes to you and your girlfriend...Say hello to her from my behalf...And share your story with as many single people as possible...Because your ATTITUDE is the right attitude, and it is what attracts others to you...I know, because this has been my experience...
That's wonderful, Im sure you helped him. Nice work to take the pressure off of him. That's one of the most important things in a relationship.
_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner.
x Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.
