What's the point of getting married?

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Update:

I asked my stepdad. Guy's blunt & it's not that he keeps secrets about what he sees it's just that he sees no reason to tell other people what people say (bit like me in that regard).

The specific question was: "[cousin] and [cousin's fiance] are atheists and he's a doctor. Why are they getting married now rather than later, after the virus is gone? Surely it's about celebration of love to them so a wedding later on would be better? It's a bit strange how they can't even invite cousins just immediate family when they're such people-people"

His answer was: "Because vanues take a lot of booking and a lot of people will be doing that. It's better not to waste the deposit"

So very practical minded reasons.

I still think it's a bit sad. I hope they renew their vows in the future and have a celebration.

Personally I hate all that party stuff. Social anxiety & sensory reasons. But I'd put up with it for her, to say I'm happy for her. I would go home early, like granddad plans on doing, but I'd attend if I'd been invited.

I imagine they're getting married cos 1 love and 2 that's how they've been brought up - by couples in their first marriages, unlike me who was brought up by people who lived together unmarried and who'd been divorced at least once.

Would there be any interest in using Zoom?

Yes, my sister attended a wedding via zoom recently.

Where i can see your point, in some people's cases, a good marriage can be good for both partners.
When a marriage goes wrong (or intentionally wrong due to malice),
then getting married can be the worst thing ever.

Marriage, when things go wrong, can be used by abusers to hurt their victims.
I was married once, only for 6 months really, with my ex-wife, who forced me to live her religious lifestyle
ended up cheating on me with someone who i went to school with who was known as a serial cheater (and who also had previously forced my ex-wife to have under aged sex with her), and then my only and older brother died.

My cheater of an ex-wife then violently assaulted me on a blood full moon, which i believe was because of some bizarre belief in black magic or something nuts.

So after all i had been through (as i had waited celibate for 3 years in a long distance and highly restrictive Jehovah Witness lifestyle, and had out up with crazy behaviour for years from ex-wife, her family, her religious friends and from other guys who were also trying it on).

I broke up with my ex-wife, and she moved her stuff out. I was grieving at the time.
Ex-wife found someone else to hook up with who she didn't make strict demands to as she had with me.

Then, in order to cover up her cheating and domestic violence, she then started to spread slander about me, which i think was initially designed to get a divorce on her terms, but also, cause i believe she felt that this is what people do when they split up, playing the abused partner even though she was the abuser and the one who had cheated.

However, due to her religious nature, she didn't want people to know that she was a cheater, as the JW's would scold her and think less of her. so she tried to frame me for several things, which thankfully i didn't take part in.

Nonetheless, the divorce did eventually go through
but it was all on her terms.

I was still grieving for my brothers death at the time.
And was left jobless and with most my friends shunning me due to the slander that she spread.

So. when looking back on it. Do I think Marriage is a good idea for people who aren't religious.
No way. But that's just my opinion based on my own experience.

I do not have a problem with anyone having a contrasting opinion and I will not attack anyone
because they have a different opinion that ins't fuelled by sadism, bigotry or prejudice.



Yep. In a mature democratic society people can debate topics and not agree, while at the same time not
wanting to kill each other.

Long live Democracy! Horray!

... ... ..

It is everyone's prerogative, Aspies or NTs alike, to decide whether they wish to be married or not...With my above post, I do not pretend to impose my moral values on anyone here...So, if others do decide to be married, or not, wonderful!...Best wishes to them either way ...If they choose to have a reception, or not, wonderful, too!...Best wishes to them either way

I whole-heartedly RESPECT everyone's free will to do as they please... However, if you carefully read this thread, you will understand why i felt compelled to remind you all that some NTs have noble reasons for choosing to marry...And some others may even choose to have a reception, similar to the one Jesus attended, wherein family and friends can share in the joy and happiness of the newlyweds...And not necessarily because they want an excuse to have a party and be the center of attention as it has been implied here in this thread...My intent here is only to clarify that not all NTs marry solely out of CONVENIENCE and/or solely for the protections granted to them by the law of their land as it has been implied in this thread also...

In fact, it is my duty and obligation to take a firm stand for those, like me, who married for LOVE, Aspies or NTs, but are not here to have their say...Remember, i opted out of my dream wedding, with the wellbeing of my beloved Aspie husband in mind...I did not want to force him into a social situation that would make him ill...So, to accuse me here of trying to guilt-trip you all for something that i fully understand is not an Aspie's fault, is totally out of line...You are out of line!! !...But, it is ok...You obviously misinterpreted my intent...I leave you in peace...Have a blessed evening...

Sorry, we are on completely different wavelengths. I keep misunderstanding you.

You remind me of someone I know who annoyed me, a lot. Actually, they really hurt me. I need to push that aside and realise you are an individual.

When you get married, you get tax breaks, you will also be allowed to see your partner in the hospital when they have restricted visitors. Also when your partner dies, you get everything that is theirs and decided what to do with all their stuff.

I am not sure how it is in the UK like if you also get tax benefits in marriage.

Yep been there, wouldn't do it again.

You don't need to have a party after the wedding. My brother just got married in Las Vegas and he had it filmed and he sent the link to everyone who was invited and I watched it on my computer. It lasted about 20 minutes and then it was over. Now they could enjoy their Honeymoon in Vegas.

Hmm I could suggest this to her.

That way we all get to celebrate

Every time I go to a wedding, the appetizers are always so much better than the main course!

It's annoying having to sit in a round table, and find something to talk about to people you don't know. Usually, the conversation revolves around mortgages, jobs, or whatever.

... ... ...
No need to apologize...I understand...Your explanation makes sense...In psychology, it is called projection...Stay safe...And greetings to you...

Nah. You all get to tease them about anything strange that happens. And to keep reminding the groom that he really did get married and you are a witness. (My wedding day was pretty much a blur. I'm wondering if my bride hired a photographer just so she could have evidence to show me. )

Agreed.

Married life doesn't suit me. My wife is a good person----but I just don't want to be married.

I like my freedom too much.

Sometimes, I wish I had a child----but sometimes, I'm glad I've never had kids.

If you marry the right person it could be heaven.

If you marry the wrong person it could be hell.