Mona Pereth wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Every time I hear someone giving advice to women about how to date an aspie, I can't help thinking why wouldn't she just date an NT instead?
Most likely, because she just happens to be attracted to the specific person, for whatever reason or combination of reasons.
I've heard a lot about women being turned off by traits that are commonly associated with ASD. Like shyness/awkwardness, not knowing how talk to a woman, obsessing too much over a certain interest or hobby, struggling to find career success, struggling with communication, etc. Given all that, I just don't see what an aspie guy could have to offer when women access do a large number of NT men who don't have those issues.
Mona Pereth wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
My ex-fiancé refused to have intercourse with me. She would have me perform oral on her but never reciprocated. According to my therapist, that was a way to hold power over me.
Or perhaps she had a physical problem with PIV? In any case, it appears that you and she were not compatible.
There was a lot more going on in that relationship. My ex gaslighted. She told me that other women think I'm ugly and gross. She regularly made demeaning comments disguised as jokes about me being a well trained dog. She isolated me socially until my entire social circle was only her and her friends. She kept making up stories about my friends so to get me to disassociate myself from them. She used the threat of leaving to control me. I eventually got to where I was afraid to go anywhere or do anything without her approval. Her manipulations were subtle, and didn't recognize any of it at the time. But when it all hit later on, the more I studied about psychological abuse the more everything fit together and made sense.
Mona Pereth wrote:
MaxE wrote:
She refused to perform any sort of sex act on him.
Or, at least, nothing that he was into. We don't know the full story.
I'm turned off by anything that involves bondage, violence, or inflicting pain; and I'm outright disgusted by any act that involves the anus. I assure you I'm very vanilla. Even BJs aren't a big deal for me; it's the refusal to reciprocate rather than the actual act itself that bothered me. Like everything else in our relationship, all she did was take and never give.