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Does Anyone Else Just NOT Do Online Dating?

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Sweetleaf
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30 Aug 2021, 1:51 am

I mean not anymore, since I am in a long term relationship....but I met my boyfriend on Okcupid, so during the time I was dating I was using online dating.

But that was like 6 years ago, that we met on there.


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31 Aug 2021, 7:27 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
I’m on two dating sites, Badoo & OkCupid, I’m thinking of getting off OkCupid. I met someone on Badoo, he said he is a doctor, we met a week ago. I’m talking to another guy on there.


I never heard of Badoo but maybe it's great.

I was on OKCupid. I bought a membership, it wasn't worth it at all. I am glad I only paid for 6 months. I quit the site before membership expired, it just seemed a waste of time. I did go on one date that was not so great. Otherwise wasted a lot of time texting back and forth to women that never wanted to meet. they just want to text lots of guys and feel better about themselves.


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01 Sep 2021, 2:19 am

Gentleman Argentum wrote:
I never heard of Badoo but maybe it's great.

I was on OKCupid. I bought a membership, it wasn't worth it at all. I am glad I only paid for 6 months. I quit the site before membership expired, it just seemed a waste of time. I did go on one date that was not so great. Otherwise wasted a lot of time texting back and forth to women that never wanted to meet. they just want to text lots of guys and feel better about themselves.
I never heard of it either but it's been like 10 years since I used any dating sites. I think OKC was completely free when I used it. I paid for lots of other dating sites thou & I never met anybody offline & even didn't really chat with anyone unless the site had a forum. The people I chatted with on forums on dating sites were wanting friends, wanting to express support, or they wanted info about things that was unrelated to considering me for a potential relationship. There tends to be a much higher ratio of guys on dating sites than woman which creates a system where the women are like employers & the guys are like job seekers.


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01 Sep 2021, 10:56 am

nick007 wrote:
Gentleman Argentum wrote:
I never heard of Badoo but maybe it's great.

I was on OKCupid. I bought a membership, it wasn't worth it at all. I am glad I only paid for 6 months. I quit the site before membership expired, it just seemed a waste of time. I did go on one date that was not so great. Otherwise wasted a lot of time texting back and forth to women that never wanted to meet. they just want to text lots of guys and feel better about themselves.
I never heard of it either but it's been like 10 years since I used any dating sites. I think OKC was completely free when I used it. I paid for lots of other dating sites thou & I never met anybody offline & even didn't really chat with anyone unless the site had a forum. The people I chatted with on forums on dating sites were wanting friends, wanting to express support, or they wanted info about things that was unrelated to considering me for a potential relationship. There tends to be a much higher ratio of guys on dating sites than woman which creates a system where the women are like employers & the guys are like job seekers.


^this is all true

I especially like your analogy in the last sentence, women are the employers, and guys are the job seekers.

I don't put up with nonsense from women online. If they give me static about things I can't change, like my bi past, my location, or that I occasionally go to a massage therapist, or my age (*I only date women close to my age however), then I'm out. I will unMatch them so fast. I try to forget them as well, with mixed success, but I think as time goes on, the forgetting part gets easier.

Sorry that you haven't had much luck. I have had more luck in terms of going on first dates, but other than that we are about equal.


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nick007
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01 Sep 2021, 11:27 am

Gentleman Argentum wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I never heard of it either but it's been like 10 years since I used any dating sites. I think OKC was completely free when I used it. I paid for lots of other dating sites thou & I never met anybody offline & even didn't really chat with anyone unless the site had a forum. The people I chatted with on forums on dating sites were wanting friends, wanting to express support, or they wanted info about things that was unrelated to considering me for a potential relationship. There tends to be a much higher ratio of guys on dating sites than woman which creates a system where the women are like employers & the guys are like job seekers.


^this is all true

I especially like your analogy in the last sentence, women are the employers, and guys are the job seekers.

I don't put up with nonsense from women online. If they give me static about things I can't change, like my bi past, my location, or that I occasionally go to a massage therapist, or my age (*I only date women close to my age however), then I'm out. I will unMatch them so fast. I try to forget them as well, with mixed success, but I think as time goes on, the forgetting part gets easier.

Sorry that you haven't had much luck. I have had more luck in terms of going on first dates, but other than that we are about equal.
I think part of the problem is that there are lots of horror stories & negative stigma about online dating that make lots of women wary of it including safety concerns which were mentioned in this thread. There tends to be a much higher ratio of men to women on dating sites & more than a few guys mass message lots of women. They send out generic messages to every woman with a profile pic they find moderately attractive without even reading the profiles & they see who actually responds. The women tend to get lots of messages & they usually don't read them all. When the women read a message they really like, they think they can afford to go through a vetting process since they have lots of other seemingly interested guys. There are plenty exceptions of corse


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01 Sep 2021, 1:19 pm

Lot of people seem to ghost each other on dating apps. It's confusing, hurtful and there's no feedback.
Seems scary to go out with someone from a dating app so soon, maybe people expect it to happen but for someone like me i prefered using the apps in covid times because i knew we would have more time and less chance of meeting too soon. I wanted to know them well and see if it works out online because im much more expressive, before going forward with such a big step. It's scary. Strangers. I suppose thats why women dont like dating apps and random dating, they want to get a spark when it's "right" not to actively seek for partners or get hit on for the purpose of dating and other unsettling unnatural things.

Anything can actually be thought of as "shopping," any competition, and like others mentioned, job interviews. The focus is on a common goal, not how much selection there is. The thing is peoples mentality becomes focused on shopping when on dating apps and they make big mistakes that affect their chances by thinking that way. They become lonely and depressed with usage of online dating apps.

Like I quoted the explanation from a website in this post:
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=399526


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01 Sep 2021, 3:29 pm

Rexi wrote:
Lot of people seem to ghost each other on dating apps. It's confusing, hurtful and there's no feedback.
Seems scary to go out with someone from a dating app so soon, maybe people expect it to happen but for someone like me i prefered using the apps in covid times because i knew we would have more time and less chance of meeting too soon. I wanted to know them well and see if it works out online because im much more expressive, before going forward with such a big step. It's scary. Strangers. I suppose thats why women dont like dating apps and random dating, they want to get a spark when it's "right" not to actively seek for partners or get hit on for the purpose of dating and other unsettling unnatural things.
Some people are in a rush to meet in person after chatting online because they want to see if there is any spark or chemistry in person before getting too invested. Also some people online can be catfish who would string them along for a long time & never meet.


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02 Sep 2021, 6:43 am

nick007 wrote:
Gentleman Argentum wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I never heard of it either but it's been like 10 years since I used any dating sites. I think OKC was completely free when I used it. I paid for lots of other dating sites thou & I never met anybody offline & even didn't really chat with anyone unless the site had a forum. The people I chatted with on forums on dating sites were wanting friends, wanting to express support, or they wanted info about things that was unrelated to considering me for a potential relationship. There tends to be a much higher ratio of guys on dating sites than woman which creates a system where the women are like employers & the guys are like job seekers.


^this is all true

I especially like your analogy in the last sentence, women are the employers, and guys are the job seekers.

I don't put up with nonsense from women online. If they give me static about things I can't change, like my bi past, my location, or that I occasionally go to a massage therapist, or my age (*I only date women close to my age however), then I'm out. I will unMatch them so fast. I try to forget them as well, with mixed success, but I think as time goes on, the forgetting part gets easier.

Sorry that you haven't had much luck. I have had more luck in terms of going on first dates, but other than that we are about equal.
I think part of the problem is that there are lots of horror stories & negative stigma about online dating that make lots of women wary of it including safety concerns which were mentioned in this thread. There tends to be a much higher ratio of men to women on dating sites & more than a few guys mass message lots of women. They send out generic messages to every woman with a profile pic they find moderately attractive without even reading the profiles & they see who actually responds. The women tend to get lots of messages & they usually don't read them all. When the women read a message they really like, they think they can afford to go through a vetting process since they have lots of other seemingly interested guys. There are plenty exceptions of corse


The way a lot of guys act, make me glad I am into women. They can be crude/vulgar especially when drinking, doing drugs. One guy on a singles forum told me he had messaged 934 women and was puzzled why none responded. I replied, how about picking women based on common interests, rather than mass-mailing spam? Women see a lot of copypasta and learn to ignore that crap.

A one-liner is O.K., if it is specific and relevant, and if your profile is up to par. A lot of people, I only know about the women, have junk profiles. Just a pic and a little else. I don't care how good they look, I swipe left.


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02 Sep 2021, 6:48 am

Rexi wrote:
Lot of people seem to ghost each other on dating apps. It's confusing, hurtful and there's no feedback.
Seems scary to go out with someone from a dating app so soon, maybe people expect it to happen but for someone like me i prefered using the apps in covid times because i knew we would have more time and less chance of meeting too soon. I wanted to know them well and see if it works out online because im much more expressive, before going forward with such a big step. It's scary. Strangers. I suppose thats why women dont like dating apps and random dating, they want to get a spark when it's "right" not to actively seek for partners or get hit on for the purpose of dating and other unsettling unnatural things.

Anything can actually be thought of as "shopping," any competition, and like others mentioned, job interviews. The focus is on a common goal, not how much selection there is. The thing is peoples mentality becomes focused on shopping when on dating apps and they make big mistakes that affect their chances by thinking that way. They become lonely and depressed with usage of online dating apps.

Like I quoted the explanation from a website in this post:
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=399526


Yes definitely a lot of women I contacted have a shopping mentality. They play with me, act like I'm just another option and put me on the shelf. My reaction is unMatch and delete their phone number.

I was talking to a lady this week, and she said she was thinking about calling up one of her exes and apologizing and getting back with him, and made excuses for why we couldn't see each other. She texted me the next morning, and I just reminded her that she didn't want to see me, that she was getting back with her ex, and blocked her. She had apparently forgotten what she said or wanted to keep me on the shelf as a back-up option. I am not the safe choice. I am either the choice, or I bow out. I don't have time for nonsense, I'm getting up there in years.


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02 Sep 2021, 7:41 am

Online dating is wayyyyyyyy easier if you're a woman, and that's a 100% fact.

And if you don't believe me, watch this video. Basically a man has his woman friend make a Tinder account as a man, just to see what it's like using Tinder as a guy. Every woman who wants to know what it's like being a man should watch this video.




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02 Sep 2021, 8:04 am

The reason why online dating is easier for women is for a number of factors. Men tend to be less picky when it comes to swiping so what's happening is that any decently attractive woman is easily getting 100+ matches. Even a 6/10 woman can easily get so many matches, despite only being in the average range.

And what's happening is that because women have so many options, they start becoming and picky and selective simply because they can, also because it's not realistic to have 100+ men swiping right on you and communicating with all of them, that would be exhausting. Most people can only handle consistently talking to 4-5 people at a time.


This is also a reason why dating has become harder for men in the past 10 years. The rates of male virginity are rising, and the rise of online dating has something to do with it. Online dating has allowed any decently attractive woman access to hundreds of available options that she wouldn't have previously had prior to online dating, and women are becoming pickier and pickier because of it.



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02 Sep 2021, 5:16 pm

nick007 wrote:
Chummy wrote:
Btw as you were talking about risk factor for girls, I can't imagine how it is to be a girl because I'm a dude but I think you're right to be better safe than sorry. In that regard I think you should watch the Netflix show "clickbait" (if you like crime drama of course) because it has something to do with dating apps - not gonna do anymore spoilers.
There is still a risk factor for guys meeting people online thou in general there is still probably less risk for guys than woman. The Investigation Discovery channel had a real life crime show called Web Of Lies about people who ended up having serious problems from meeting people online. Some of the times the victims were just looking for friends instead of a romantic relationship. They were not all used for sex either & some of the victims were guys. Some of the perps are extremely sick in the head.


What is the reasoning for people to catfish guys in dating sites? other than money scammers etc. even if they just want "friends" instead of a romantic relationship getting a friend by lying to him isn't a good start. I just don't understand perp type of thinking yes they're "sick in the head" as you said but I often hear this description like "crazy" just to refer to people doing stuff with motives you can't explain by common sense or science... as long as you're not psychotic no mental illness can be an excuse if you're in touch with reality IMO



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02 Sep 2021, 5:25 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
The reason why online dating is easier for women is for a number of factors. Men tend to be less picky when it comes to swiping so what's happening is that any decently attractive woman is easily getting 100+ matches. Even a 6/10 woman can easily get so many matches, despite only being in the average range.

And what's happening is that because women have so many options, they start becoming and picky and selective simply because they can, also because it's not realistic to have 100+ men swiping right on you and communicating with all of them, that would be exhausting. Most people can only handle consistently talking to 4-5 people at a time.


This is also a reason why dating has become harder for men in the past 10 years. The rates of male virginity are rising, and the rise of online dating has something to do with it. Online dating has allowed any decently attractive woman access to hundreds of available options that she wouldn't have previously had prior to online dating, and women are becoming pickier and pickier because of it.


I think this mentality plagues people in general even outside online dating as I have noticed it myself girls think I can always do better and eventually they stay alone old with 5 cats, or marry late having to compromise a lot meaning they skip on the quality guys when they're younger only to settle for a below average bloke in later age.

If I was dating a girl, and even after 1,2,3 etc. dates we would see we're not a match I'd still have mad respect for this kind of girl. But girls (obviously not 100% of them) again have this crap mentality of only dating a prince charming that ticks the perfect boxes and he just doesn't exist because of the endless choice as you said .

Dating sites are cancer. They do not care for finding you a match, they are a company so they care only about making the most $ out of it, gotta feed them kids morals come second. and this is how vast majority of companies work imagine Apple are gonna release a new iPhone that's gonna last 20 years well goodbye sales haha



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03 Sep 2021, 4:03 am

Chummy wrote:
What is the reasoning for people to catfish guys in dating sites? other than money scammers etc. even if they just want "friends" instead of a romantic relationship getting a friend by lying to him isn't a good start. I just don't understand perp type of thinking yes they're "sick in the head" as you said but I often hear this description like "crazy" just to refer to people doing stuff with motives you can't explain by common sense or science... as long as you're not psychotic no mental illness can be an excuse if you're in touch with reality IMO
Some of the guys & women were being catfished by their exes who were looking for revenge. Some of the women were single moms or were pregnant & they were being catfished by women pretending to be single moms wanting friends or women pretending to be guys wanting a romantic relationship who were really wanting their kids. There were also a couple cases of guys being killed by guys they never met who were seemingly just wanting an opportunity to commit a random murder.


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Abigailc1997
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03 Sep 2021, 4:11 am

I don’t. It’s so risky, and people are sneaky sons of b*****s. You can start talking to them online or whatever but if you can’t even see each other in person, don’t do it. Also, don’t decide you’re dating over the internet alone, again that is very dangerous. I know what it’s like to be desperate for a relationship. Overtime, I learned it is NOT safe. So unless you wanna settle for some internet creep, don’t do it.



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03 Sep 2021, 4:28 am

nick007 wrote:
Chummy wrote:
What is the reasoning for people to catfish guys in dating sites? other than money scammers etc. even if they just want "friends" instead of a romantic relationship getting a friend by lying to him isn't a good start. I just don't understand perp type of thinking yes they're "sick in the head" as you said but I often hear this description like "crazy" just to refer to people doing stuff with motives you can't explain by common sense or science... as long as you're not psychotic no mental illness can be an excuse if you're in touch with reality IMO
Some of the guys & women were being catfished by their exes who were looking for revenge. Some of the women were single moms or were pregnant & they were being catfished by women pretending to be single moms wanting friends or women pretending to be guys wanting a romantic relationship who were really wanting their kids. There were also a couple cases of guys being killed by guys they never met who were seemingly just wanting an opportunity to commit a random murder.


Is catfishing people just to "be friends" a capital offense?