The worst rejection you got from a woman?

Page 3 of 4 [ 49 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

15 Feb 2022, 9:13 pm

auntblabby wrote:
1986 wrote:
For me it's just been silence. Lots of it. And the occasional "You're nice, but ..."

I guess the conversation that hurt the most was when I (believed I) was dating a woman in my early 20s, and I was frustrated we weren't progressing. We went into her apartment after a party, I sat down on the sofa and said "So what's the deal? How can we move forward from here?" and she replied "What do you mean, 'we'?" :skull:

i think you dodged a bullet with that one.

How so?



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas

15 Feb 2022, 9:20 pm

^^
somebody that cold-blooded would likely have done you wrong somewhere along the line. she likely was the "what's love got to do with it" type.



Jayo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,224

16 Feb 2022, 10:15 am

1986 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
1986 wrote:
For me it's just been silence. Lots of it. And the occasional "You're nice, but ..."

I guess the conversation that hurt the most was when I (believed I) was dating a woman in my early 20s, and I was frustrated we weren't progressing. We went into her apartment after a party, I sat down on the sofa and said "So what's the deal? How can we move forward from here?" and she replied "What do you mean, 'we'?" :skull:

i think you dodged a bullet with that one.

How so?


While you may or may not have "dodged a bullet" on that one, what I can tell you is that she very likely found your query too formal, like you're a lawyer or real estate agent trying to close a deal. NT minds don't operate that way, she would have preferred more playful teasing, being coy, relying on non-verbal signals to move in and cuddle and let things flow from there...otherwise, it feels too "transactional". Which for them is probably as big of a turn-off as halitosis, maybe worse 8O



rse92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2021
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,219
Location: Buffalo, NY

16 Feb 2022, 11:19 am

On the day after Thanksgiving 2003, my wife of 18 years and 23 years together total, the mother of my two children, my college sweetheart, the most beautiful girl I met in four years of college and three years of law school, told me she wanted to separate. We are now divorced.

I felt like I had been hit in the stomach with a baseball bat.

She said to me you must have seen it coming? NO, I DIDN'T. I didn't know then I was autistic.

Over the next ten years I went to hell and back. I suffered significant mental health issues and lost practically everything before I managed to get back on my feet.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas

16 Feb 2022, 11:40 am

^^^ :( i'm sorry man, you hadda go through that. seems women are just unknowable by many of us.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,576
Location: Portland, Oregon

16 Feb 2022, 7:38 pm

auntblabby wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
variations on "fkkk off creep/dweeb/spazz!"
variations on "you're weird!"
variations of "go away or i'll sick my BF on you!"
variations on a sneer and cold shoulder.


This happened to me a lot during when I was in HS, so like you (and many others), I still feel idiotic after all these years. I graduated HS in 2008 and sometimes to this day I unexpectedly cross paths with some I went to school with.

did these ones you met later ever grow up to become decent humans?


The majority, yes.

good, that gives me renewed hope for humankind :)


Good to know. :)


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

16 Feb 2022, 8:00 pm

Jayo wrote:
NT minds don't operate that way, she would have preferred more playful teasing, being coy, relying on non-verbal signals to move in and cuddle and let things flow from there...

All things I'm completely useless at. :lol: I mean, I can try, but like many others I come across as a stilted, slightly creepy guy if I do. Nowadays I've pretty much adopted the "hip to be square" attitude to courting and fortunately it doesn't drive my wife nuts.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas

17 Feb 2022, 1:16 pm

i wish i was high-functioning.



Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,385

17 Feb 2022, 1:59 pm

This was 17 or 18 years ago in Tokyo. I was much more unaware then....even though I was over 40.

I had a rather drunken overnight encounter with a young lady, who gave me her number and said we could meet again. A few days later, I called.
I: "Do you want to go out tomorrow?"
She: "It's rainy. I don't like to go outside when it's rainy."
A few days later, I called again.
I: "Do you want to go out tomorrow?"
She: "It's cold. I don't like to go out when it's cold."
A few days later, I called again.
I: "Do you want to go out tomorrow?"
She: "It's windy. I don't like to go out when it's windy."
I told a colleague about this puzzling situation, and he gently explained that I should give up.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,243

17 Feb 2022, 2:44 pm

Hi:
As an autistic woman, I would say not at all. Though my boyfriend and I are on the spectrum, it's important to find someone with maturity and things in common.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,243

17 Feb 2022, 2:44 pm

Hi:
As an autistic woman, I would say not at all. Though my boyfriend and I are on the spectrum, it's important to find someone with maturity and things in common.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas

17 Feb 2022, 3:11 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Hi:
As an autistic woman, I would say not at all. Though my boyfriend and I are on the spectrum, it's important to find someone with maturity and things in common.

that is a pretty rare thing.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,098
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Feb 2022, 3:13 pm

Referring to the other thread: « I froze my eggs because all men suck ».

That a one nuclear rejection. :lol:



Relax_on_Standby
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2015
Posts: 233

19 Feb 2022, 1:46 am

"that felt like I was kissing my brother!"


_________________
Think I'm bad? My friends are worse.


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,709
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

20 Feb 2022, 5:51 am

I had a couple in person rejections that were very awkward cuz the women thought I was gay :oops: but I do not consider them the worst. The most confusing rejection I had was online. I was using an asexual forum & chat site that was geared towards friendships as well as romantic relationships. Some of the people were seeking just friendships, just relationships, or relationships & friends like I was. I had some online friends that I met there that I liked chatting with. I would of been very interested in having a romantic relationship with some of the women on that site if they woulda been interested in one with me & our life circumstances & living situations woulda made moving in together & possibly getting marred a viable option. I did try to get in a romantic relationship with some of the women but I was very willing to just be online friends with em instead if they were only interested in friendship with me


Anyways... One women from there that I had been chatting with for a brief period said she wanted to just be friends when I tried making a move. Due to me being an Aspie who's kinda a literal thinker, I of corse naively assumed that she was only interested in friendship with me & nothing more. About a week later I mentioned how I just joined another dating site & then she got upset with me because she thought me & her were getting into a romantic relationship & we quit being friends. How the f#ck is anybody supposed to know that "lets just be friends" really means "we should be friends while starting or at least considering the possibility of getting into a romantic relationship" :scratch: Perhaps she was playing that hard-to-get cr@p that us guys find extremely confusing & frustrating or she just wanted me to show interest in her because of some ego trip while not being into me :shrug:


After that I started thinking that I was NOT compatible for a romantic relationship with NT women because our extremely different communication styles would cause major confusion, frustration, & give me migraine headaches :wall: I've had LOTS & LOTS of misunderstandings with others throughout my life & that very confusing rejection was my wake-up call that I should give up trying with NTs & I hoped that I might be more understood & accepted by other Aspies & I decided to join this forum. Overall I've been aLOT more accepted & understood here. I learned a lot over my many years here & I matured, & grew a lot, & my mental health improved a lot since I joined. I also met my 2nd girlfriend on this forum & then met my current on here very shortly after my 2nd had broke up with me.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas

20 Feb 2022, 12:32 pm

i find it infuriating that somebody assumes just because one didn't do the socially required thing and show amorous interest in another, that it is automatically assumed that one just has to be gay. the arrogance, the narrow-mindedness displayed in this situation just boggles my mind.