Didn’t come as a surprise that he was a virgin!

Post Reply New Topic

Finding and mingling with women who have a high or fetish based sex drive helped me but granted my virginity is long gone and I'm no stranger to sex with strangers (see what I did there?, I know it's corny).


Fetish kinks specifically might be a better shot but I wouldn't say a virgin fetish is the best because it seems like a lot of effort to expend on something you can only partake in once, plus I never heard of women with virgin fetishes in sizable numbers. I've had a reasonable amount of luck by appeasing fetishes and often people with certain kinks care more about those kinks being satisfied than the individual themselves.

Perhaps learning bondage or something might be better. Let's face it, it's way better to be an autistic who can say "I'm a dab hand with the ropes" to a complete stranger and take a punt she has a mutual interest than say "I'm a virgin".

I can't really fathom why someone would say they're a virgin to a stranger.

Such a thing existed since the beginning of time: prostitution. Or its more modern iteration, escort services. I lost my own virginity to an escort. I never specifically told her I was a virgin, but she was a smart woman---I'm pretty sure she figured it out from how jumpy and panicked I was acting when I first arrived to her hotel room; she just didn't want to embarrass me by telling me. Plus, I knew that she knew, when she gave me a pep talk after I ejaculated twice in less than 40 minutes---don't forget I was 22. She said something like this, while we cuddled naked in the hotel bed: "Regardless of where your future leads, you're always going to look back on tonight and laugh." Well, she was 100% right!

Well most guys are not going to want to have sex with prostitutes I don't think, because they are only interested in the money, and do not actually sexually desire the guy, of course.

However, I guess the issue of women not wanting virgin guys can be solved by the guys not telling them they are virgins.

Your statement is correct up to a certain age, ranging from 20 to 30, depending on the man. I know I stopped caring by my senior years of college. I wanted to lose my virginity to anybody, and I didn't care who took it or if I had to pay for it.

Your other statement is true too. Success with women boils down to knowing what NOT TO say, as well as being attractive. And admitting to being a virgin is the same as admitting to being ugly, and absolutely no woman in the world likes ugly men. I suppose Socrates's Principle comes into play: (1) Is it good? (2) Is it useful? (3) Is it true? If the answer to all three isn't "yes", then don't say it to a woman.

Oh and also, even the most hottest and most popular guys were virgins at one point so they must not have told the women then I am guessing.

Hot and popular guys (a.k.a. Chads) lose their virginity in early high school, if not middle school. So by the time virginity becomes an issue, they're years away from being virgins, and probably have tons of sexual experience for their age too.

Oh so you are saying that if a guy confesses to a girl that he is a virgin at age 16 let's say, then it's not near as much of turn off compared to later? That makes sense.

But if a guy is a virgin later on, I guess it's in their best interest not to tell the woman, but for some reason, some guys still do?

That's perfectly true. I think the threshold between "tell" and "don't tell" is sophomore year of college. After all, high school kids live with their parents, so finding a place to copulate is often problematic even for Chads, as most parents are against sex. In college, most students live in dorms or apartments, where a place to copulate is easier to come by even with roommates. So you're basically expected to lose your virginity during your freshman year of college if you didn't lose it in high school.

If you're still a virgin after that, you gotta hustle: fly to a city where it's legal, hire an illegal escort, get plastic surgery if you can afford it, or lie to women that you had sex "once" previously. If you live among NTs, you gotta fight dirty and not feel ashamed, because honesty will only backfire on you.

I just don't see what the big deal is outside of morality. I haven't had many sexual partners, and that's by choice. I have had ONLY one since May 2003.

I mean...meh... I think what frustrated me at times before that was not being a virgin and women not wanting me because they thought I was too innocent. If experience is one of those things that is an absolute necessity for all members of the opposite sex, and it seems we're usually talking about women expecting men to be experienced, then I don't see how anyone deserves the truth. How many partners have you had? The correct answer is 3. More than that and you're a sl00t or a man-h0, less than that there must be something wrong with you. I didn't mind a woman having multiple partners before me, and I didn't ask stupid questions like if anyone had a bigger p3n!$. All I ask is she be honest about having any diseases. Those are things I kinda need to know.

As far as relationships and sex go, I just don't think virginity has to be an issue. I dated a young undergrad once. She was a virgin when we met. The way she responded to me made me wonder if she really was a virgin. I suppose girls who are virgins are at a slight advantage over men who are. I don't see that women have a need to "perform" to satisfy a man, so what's important is a girl knows her body well enough to enjoy sex and climax. For men, staying power in the sack appears to require a bit more practice. Men need to be able to hold out for their women, and I think that's why more experienced women won't be comfortable with virgin men. He likely can't satisfy her, at least not right away, and it's just going to be awkward.

Honestly, though...no two sexual partners are precisely alike. I remember going from one fling or relationship to another it was almost like the first time all over again. I knew enough about the mechanics of everything, but staying in control was not nearly as easy right at first.

Or even if you're with the same partner long-term, depending on what season of life you're in you can wake up one day and, sexually speaking, not even know who she is anymore. After we had 2 kids, for a while my wife didn't enjoy it or even want it. We'd had some bad years and issues we needed to work through. We had a conversation about a third child, and so it just kinda happened.

More recently--after our 4th baby, one day I was feeling a little adventurous. She NEVER wanted me to do anything oral on her...and I just decided not to listen one night. Well, that changed everything, and it seems she enjoys sex more as she gets older. This is sad, really, because I'm not in the mood as much as I used to be. Give it a year or so from now and the winds will shift again.

Experience is overrated. Just when you think you've got it all worked out, partners and biology will flip the narrative on you leaving you struggling to keep up. If you find yourself thinking it feels like the first time, that's probably because it IS the first time. However much experience you think you have isn't going to matter one bit. And if you have had so much sex and so many partners that there's no distinction from one to another, you're missing out. The shy, innocent blonde hiding a dark, thirsty side, the redhead who likes it rough, the feisty brunette, the pillow princess who's about as lively as a dead fish... Sometimes they know what they want and how to get it. As a man, you never really have much of an idea. Half the fun is figuring it out, and past experience isn't always going to be as much help as you might think.

Oh I see. But since a lot of people are not going to college nowadays, how do those people do it?

I don't understand why people feel compelled to tell others, including partners, their sexual history, except as it pertains to sexual health and STI.

It's irrelevant. If a man has slept with one woman, he's slept with one woman. That doesn't make him an expert in how to have sex with every woman, and it doesn't mean he was any good at it in the first place.

Likewise for man-man or any other combination.

My gfs in the past have always asked me though, so should a person be honest and tell, if the partner asks?

That's a decision you'd have to make.

It's something I wouldn't ask a person or partner unless they disclosed it voluntarily.

It's a violation of personal privacy and I don't see how it matters.

Yeah. I can ask my current gf why she asked me.

Don't do it! When a woman asks a man a question in the context of a relationship, she's either looking for material to use against him in later fights, or is picking a fight right now for drama's sake. It's the 2022 reality of most straight relationships, and it's not a good one.

It doesn't matter why she asked you! What she didn't know years back, it doesn't matter at all if she finds out now. So don't tempt fate by telling her. Let the sleeping dogs lie.

Now, LGBT relationships don't work like this. Two women have a natural female camaraderie that precludes such trickery, and two men simply don't care about tricking each other. In a conflict, they either shrug it off act like it's all good, or they simply break up and part ways.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 06 Jul 2022, 8:12 pm, edited 6 times in total.

You placed a lot of importance on the fact that she was temporarily a virgin when you met.

It seems it mattered to you, and that her lack of prior experience still matters to you now.