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Failure to find a girlfriend

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kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2022, 4:34 pm

It's better for a person's chances at romance----if the person is a good friend to somebody.



CockneyRebel
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26 Aug 2022, 4:35 pm

A woman might turn you down because she identifies as Male.


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Noamx
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26 Aug 2022, 4:38 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Maybe if you try to be friends with women first, you might get somewhere.

Even if she agrees to that, her current boyfriend might take away all the attention and she would focus on him and forget me. Just "friends", especially with young women in Israel at around age 20 - 30, is a difficult thing to do. With all the crap women are busy with here and large amount of friends she possibly has, she would forget me pretty fast.


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About me, my name's Noam 32 years old from Israel, diagnosed with High functioning Autism at about age 21 but unofficially had this problem since I was born. From age 25 or so I started to function better but I still have alot of problems in my life. I live in Israel in a city called Ashdod, but I was born in Jerusalem. I'm Agnostic when it comes to religion.

Hobbies include Video Games, Music, Sports, Swimming, Watch TV, Sex/Getting laid, Alcohol, Writing, Reading, and more.


TwilightPrincess
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26 Aug 2022, 4:39 pm

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Many other things remain unknown. Most women didnt explain to me why. And to be honest with you, I asked "why?" every time. I always ask, because knowing the reason was always important to me every time. But I didnt always get an explanation. When I got an explanation, it wasnt good enough. It was like, mostly, a short statement like "Because I dont feel good about this" or something similar to that. And as you know, that doesnt explain much, obviously.
I would avoid asking why if I were you. It could make a person feel uncomfortable. If she shares why on her own, that’s fine. If not, that should be respected and you should just let her go.

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I think it can be my fault sometimes, but sometimes its completely her fault. She has a problem I dont know exactly what is, it could even be a mental problem, an emotional problem, a bad mood... many things. And these things arent my fault. It depends on whats going on in her personal life.
Not wanting to date you is not a “problem.” People are free to date or not date whoever they wish. You are sounding a bit entitled here.

Stop asking random strangers on dates. It’s weird and would make most people uncomfortable except in extraordinary circumstances (which has never happened to me). I’ve never agreed to date random people who’ve asked me out.



r00tb33r
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26 Aug 2022, 4:39 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
A woman might turn you down because she identifies as Male.

Oof. That's the most backhanded transgender comment I've seen in ages. Simultaneously recognizing how they identify, while maintaining that "identification" does not other gender make.

Awesome. :wtg:



CockneyRebel
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26 Aug 2022, 4:41 pm

Noamx wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
Maybe if you try to be friends with women first, you might get somewhere.

Even if she agrees to that, her current boyfriend might take away all the attention and she would focus on him and forget me. Just "friends", especially with young women in Israel at around age 20 - 30, is a difficult thing to do. With all the crap women are busy with here and large amount of friends she possibly has, she would forget me pretty fast.


Or she might be willing to make time for you.


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Noamx
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26 Aug 2022, 4:41 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Quote:
Many other things remain unknown. Most women didnt explain to me why. And to be honest with you, I asked "why?" every time. I always ask, because knowing the reason was always important to me every time. But I didnt always get an explanation. When I got an explanation, it wasnt good enough. It was like, mostly, a short statement like "Because I dont feel good about this" or something similar to that. And as you know, that doesnt explain much, obviously.
I would avoid asking why if I were you. It could make a person feel uncomfortable. If she shares why on her own, that’s fine. If not, that should be respected and you should just let her go.

Quote:
I think it can be my fault sometimes, but sometimes its completely her fault. She has a problem I dont know exactly what is, it could even be a mental problem, an emotional problem, a bad mood... many things. And these things arent my fault. It depends on whats going on in her personal life.
Not wanting to date you is not a “problem.” People are free to date or not date whoever they wish. You are sounding a bit entitled here.

Stop asking random strangers on dates. It’s weird and would make most people uncomfortable except in extraordinary circumstances (which has never happened to me). I’ve never agreed to date random people who’ve asked me out.

Asking on the street, I agree. But are you seriously saying I shouldnt ask, even if I have met her at workplace, studies, social gatherings, etc? Or are you saying there's a way to ask I'm not paying attention to, which increases chances of her agreeing to stay in touch.


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About me, my name's Noam 32 years old from Israel, diagnosed with High functioning Autism at about age 21 but unofficially had this problem since I was born. From age 25 or so I started to function better but I still have alot of problems in my life. I live in Israel in a city called Ashdod, but I was born in Jerusalem. I'm Agnostic when it comes to religion.

Hobbies include Video Games, Music, Sports, Swimming, Watch TV, Sex/Getting laid, Alcohol, Writing, Reading, and more.


TwilightPrincess
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26 Aug 2022, 4:43 pm

You can ask people out when you already know them, but you should look for signs of interest. If someone doesn’t seem that interested in you, then don’t ask her out. Asking out more women does not increase your chances. Think: quality over quantity.



Fnord
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26 Aug 2022, 4:44 pm

Noamx wrote:
I can say it could be lack of smiling sometimes, but is that seriously something that can piss women off, or disappoint other women?
"Piss off"?  Not really.  "Disappoint"?  Maybe, especially if your resting male face is a frown or scowl.  Smiles work better.
Noamx wrote:
I'm unemployed and I am also not studying anything. Does this have to do with starting a job / studies, is related to success with women?
Unemployment/underemployment would seem to indicate a lack of ambition.  Not pursuing an education is maybe less so.

Again, it seems women tend to check men out from a distance, and to make their judgements long before a man gets close enough to engage in conversation.



kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2022, 4:45 pm

In almost all cases, you shouldn't ask a woman why she rejected you.

It would help if you were studying something, or have a job.



CockneyRebel
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26 Aug 2022, 4:45 pm

A smile is always in style.


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TwilightPrincess
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26 Aug 2022, 4:46 pm

Noamx wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
Maybe if you try to be friends with women first, you might get somewhere.

Even if she agrees to that, her current boyfriend might take away all the attention and she would focus on him and forget me. Just "friends", especially with young women in Israel at around age 20 - 30, is a difficult thing to do. With all the crap women are busy with here and large amount of friends she possibly has, she would forget me pretty fast.

If you can’t keep a person’s interest for a friendship, I’m not sure how you think that romance would work.

I’d work on cultivating friendships for now.



Noamx
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26 Aug 2022, 4:49 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
You can ask people out when you already know them, but you should look for signs of interest. If someone doesn’t seem that interested in you, then don’t ask her out. Asking out more women does not increase your chances. Think: quality over quantity.

Are there situations where its worth asking on the street, bus stations, train stations, inside shops, stores, malls, etc.? Or all women would probably think its weird if I tried in these places, and would probably not agree to give her phone number?

Are the chances really higher at workplace / college, or the place isnt necessarily increasing chances?


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About me, my name's Noam 32 years old from Israel, diagnosed with High functioning Autism at about age 21 but unofficially had this problem since I was born. From age 25 or so I started to function better but I still have alot of problems in my life. I live in Israel in a city called Ashdod, but I was born in Jerusalem. I'm Agnostic when it comes to religion.

Hobbies include Video Games, Music, Sports, Swimming, Watch TV, Sex/Getting laid, Alcohol, Writing, Reading, and more.


r00tb33r
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26 Aug 2022, 4:49 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Think: quality over quantity.

You can have both:
Image

:wink:



kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2022, 4:50 pm

If you go to University in Israel, there would be many opportunities for friendships with women.



kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2022, 4:51 pm

If you were a university student, and you both are in the same class, there's a reason to talk to her.

If you're at a bus station waiting for a bus, there isn't too much of a reason to talk to a woman----unless the woman asks directions.