Twilightprincess wrote:
uncommondenominator wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
uncommondenominator wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
- says that you should be over the traumatic experience by now and implies that you aren’t trying hard enough
It's always fun being told to "just get over" your past by the same person who use their past justify their lousy behavior.
One partner I had would chastise me for not magically getting over my trust issues and believing in them 100% even when they expected the unreasonable, but then perpetually expected me to "prove" myself to them because they were "cagey due to their troubled past". They would also talk down to people as if it was normal, and got offended if you tried to talk to them as equals.
Yes, I’ve experienced something like that. It would often be accompanied with reframing what they did to make it less bad. “You should just get over
that.” It was
nothing compared to what they experienced in their childhood. I was obviously being insensitive and not providing enough support! Their behavior was my fault.
The lady I was with at the time was basically a One-Way-Street. Respect mattered when they wanted it, but not so much when it came to others. Their expectations were vague and mysterious, and you were just supposed to "know" or "figure it out", cos it "should be obvious". But she wanted to know, in great detail, what was expected of her - typically only to tell you why your expectations didn't matter. She loved to criticize everyone and everything, but lord forbid you criticize her in any way. She was insecure, suspicious, and jumped to conclusions, questioning and doubting, and expected you to "prove" things or to pass "tests" she'd come up with - but expected to always be heard out and taken at her word just for saying it, and didn't like being doubted or questioned.
It sounds like a walking-on-eggshells situation. Yeah, I’ve been there. Mutual respect and support would be nice, but relationships so often fall short in this regard.
Being around her was very much like walking on eggshells - even while she would stomp the eggs flat at her convenience. My movie choices were "wrong", my videogame preferences were "wrong", my cars were "wrong" and she was forever trying to get me to sell them in favor of cars she liked, even though she had her own car - my music choices were wrong and I listened "too loud" (to be fair, I do like my music loud) - she expected to be treated with velvet gloves, while she slapped others around with iron gauntlets. It was like being a butler for an entitled brat.
Oher notable red flags:
"friendzone"
"alphas"
"females" (with some leeway for language differences)
Tells women "how women are".
"Hey girl, what's your number? / fine, I didn't like you anyways, b*tch"
Micromanaging
Rates people with numbers based solely on looks, uses this as the primary metric to value others.
"Nice Guy"
"I deserve..."