Why is it hard for me to find a man who is actually close to

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I actually did come close to losing my virginity with my ex-boyfriend Robbie but I wasn't ready to go beyond kissing

I was afraid of getting pregnant and not knowing what to do with a baby

Now I am more mature and might actually be capable of child-rearing!

Well I hope your first time is a good time! Just remember to get him to use protection until you are both ready to raise a child. Also, talk about what you expect/want from that first experience, as saying what we want can sometimes be hard for people with ASD.

Me too

I want my first time to be hot and passionate

If you have a baby, the important thing is to have a large and reliable support group. Mums, aunties, siblings, friends, whoever. Because being with a baby/toddler/child 24/7 is absolutely draining. You won't be able to take time out to process anything or get quiet time. You won't be able to stim or spend time doing your special interests. Babies take every moment of the day and much of the night too.

You will need people to hand the baby over to sometimes so you can get some precious quiet time and/or sleep. My day was 5am to 11pm when my daughter was little. No breaks. No weekends off. No holidays. No sick leave. I couldn't even go to the toilet in peace without her crying or coming into the bathroom to see what I was doing. No peace or privacy.

I would seem possible that you could actually find yourself in a position to have sex with this guy. In which case, you should think about a couple of things.

You can have sex with someone you like but aren't actually in love with.
You can have sex without having babies.

You should probably spend some time thinking about the reality of physically having sex with a man. I have no idea what you expect, but you should probably do some research. There is material in the internet intended to be informational. It's not really porn, but there may still be videos of people doing it. Then think about yourself being the woman in those videos.

I also believe I said on another thread that you shouldn't even plan or try to have penetrative sex on your first intimate encounter. That very often goes wrong and could even kill your relationship. Real life isn't Bridgerton.

And before you do that, you should first talk to the guy about sex. Talk about what you and he will do once you're alone in his bedroom. And how you both feel about it. Like, what if he wants you to undress with the lights on but you aren't comfortable doing that? Stuff like that.

As for the love thing, I think the risk is that either you will think you're in love with a guy because you had sex with him, but it's just your brain chemistry creating a mood in which thoughts of him make you deliriously happy. Or you'll talk yourself into being "in love" so you can feel good about having sex, when you really aren't in love. But for me that isn't real love. I don't think real love develops that quickly. Most couples who are deeply in love probably had sex before they reached that point.

I wish I could tell you how to avoid getting pregnant. Again, the best advice would be to avoid having penetrative sex at first. Having to deal with a condom increases the risk that your first real intercourse will be awkward, so before you try it, you should become familiar with how each others' bodies work, and no need to hurry.

I hope this turns out well, whatever you end up doing!

In regards to wanting kids, if having them is very important to you I would highly recommend having a discussion with your romantic partner before your relationship becomes serious. Some guys are not open to the idea of having kids & disabled guys are more likely to not want them thou there are plenty of exceptions of coarse. My girlfriend wants kids but realizes we cant really handle raising them. She knew I didn't want them when she got together with me so she made the choice to not have them. However I know various cases where women broke up with their boyfriends & fiances & even divorced their husbands because their guy did not want kids. There's also cases where the women stayed with tbeir partner but resented him for not wanting kids & kept having fights about it.

So how did this situation (Jonathan) come to an end?

He is going to take me bowling sometime

I don't know if it will turn into a full-blown romantic relationship though

My advice(which is based on almost no experience) is to to take this one step at a time. Wait till you do go bowling or do another activity together & then see how things go & in the meantime be open to the possibility of dating other guys if an opportunity comes up.

Don't rush. Plenty of time in the sea.

I'm picturing a trawler with a net full of clocks.

I'm 60 and the (single!) parent of 2 teenage boys, and I dont feel "old". And I'm autistic.