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Hiding diagnosis from NT girls

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babybird
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31 May 2024, 3:17 pm

FrostBender wrote:
Society will never accept those who are different.


If that's your experience then that's a real shame


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BillyTree
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31 May 2024, 3:24 pm

FrostBender wrote:
BillyTree wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
Can’t I get autism diagnosis removed from records if I bribe the receptionist at the doctors office? Then no one would ever have a record of my autism


Great idea. I'm sure that will work. Then you hide all autistic traits, act 100% NT 24 hours a day and live happily ever after. Problem solved.

I get it. You hate NTs. Well I think, since we can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em

No, I don't hate NT:s. Most of my friends are NT:s. All my romantic relations have to my knowledge been with NT-women. I was married to a NT woman for 15 years. From my experience, without you being honest and letting the guard down any intimate relation with a woman will ultimately fail. You can't hide your autism and being honest at the same time. I think being NT is the thing to be - for NT:s.


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funeralxempire
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31 May 2024, 3:37 pm

FrostBender wrote:
NT girls don’t like autistic men. If they do, it’s because they make a lot of money or are hot.


Being charismatic (charming) goes a long way to offset being broke and unattractive. :nerdy:


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FrostBender
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31 May 2024, 5:01 pm

I can try to make myself attractive so that even if I can’t communicate well, the girls won’t care because i’ll be hot



ProfessorJohn
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31 May 2024, 11:51 pm

babybird wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
Society will never accept those who are different.


If that's your experience then that's a real shame


But what if it is true?



FrostBender
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01 Jun 2024, 7:26 am

ProfessorJohn wrote:
babybird wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
Society will never accept those who are different.


If that's your experience then that's a real shame


But what if it is true?

American society, in particular, will not accept you unless you are attractive, white, NT, and Protestant.

Autistics will never be accepted. Unless you are smart enough to gain a skill that makes a company a lot of money, you will be in a retail or barista job forever.

That’s why I mask.



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01 Jun 2024, 8:04 am

FrostBender wrote:
If I ever find a girlfriend, I want her to be NT. How do I hide my diagnosis from her? I don’t want her to know, even if we were to eventually get married


Well may not be what you want to hear but you should not do that.

I would not say you have to tell them right away, but if you hide it forever then you'd basically be living a lie which even if you don't think it would, it would hurt the relationship. Better to find an NT who doesn't see having autism as a dealbreaker. But that is why I say you don't have to tell them right away, wait till they get to know you a little bit and if they really like you it shouldn't matter too much.

I didn't tell my boyfriend right away, but also not sure he is entirely neurotypical....he's not autistic as far as I can tell but he does have some traits here and there.


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blitzkrieg
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01 Jun 2024, 8:24 am

funeralxempire wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
NT girls don’t like autistic men. If they do, it’s because they make a lot of money or are hot.


Being charismatic (charming) goes a long way to offset being broke and unattractive. :nerdy:


This is true.



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01 Jun 2024, 8:27 am

^ But lying about yourself from the get-go is no basis on which to start a relationship.


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blitzkrieg
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01 Jun 2024, 8:30 am

Cornflake wrote:
^ But lying about yourself from the get-go is no basis on which to start a relationship.


I was thinking the same.

Although unfortunately, a lot of people have unconscious bias toward autistic people and might screen out an autistic person with regards to dating, that they might otherwise like if they had spent some time with them.

It's the same with employment. Telling an employer you are autistic up front seems to significantly reduce a persons chance of being hired, which is why some people choose to disclose their diagnosis after they have been set on for a job etc.



babybird
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01 Jun 2024, 8:31 am

FrostBender wrote:
ProfessorJohn wrote:
babybird wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
Society will never accept those who are different.


If that's your experience then that's a real shame


But what if it is true?

American society, in particular, will not accept you unless you are attractive, white, NT, and Protestant.

Autistics will never be accepted. Unless you are smart enough to gain a skill that makes a company a lot of money, you will be in a retail or barista job forever.

That’s why I mask.


At least you're not delusional


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FrostBender
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01 Jun 2024, 8:37 am

I need to lie to be accepted



babybird
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01 Jun 2024, 8:39 am

I think most people do

I think you're scared of rejection and abandonment. It's probably a perfectly normal symptom of what you have been through in the past

I don't know if you could lie to someone who you love and respect for the rest of your life though

Would you be ok with doing that


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FrostBender
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01 Jun 2024, 8:43 am

babybird wrote:
I think most people do

I think you're scared of rejection and abandonment. It's probably a perfectly normal symptom of what you have been through in the past

I don't know if you could lie to someone who you love and respect for the rest of your life though

Would you be ok with doing that

Yes



babybird
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01 Jun 2024, 8:45 am

Well that's your choice then

I wish you well :)


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01 Jun 2024, 8:53 am

FrostBender wrote:
ProfessorJohn wrote:
babybird wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
Society will never accept those who are different.


If that's your experience then that's a real shame


But what if it is true?

American society, in particular, will not accept you unless you are attractive, white, NT, and Protestant.

Autistics will never be accepted. Unless you are smart enough to gain a skill that makes a company a lot of money, you will be in a retail or barista job forever.

That’s why I mask.


Girls who want a real relationship care a lot more about personality and compatibility than looks generally. And are you kidding me, if anything having more right wing views like the 'white, NT, Protestant' crowd turns a lot of women off for the most part...as they don't want to be trapped with someone who sees them as lesser. Since those people tend to be stuck on traditional gender roles and women just being for housework and childrearing.

And even if everyone doesn't accept autism, wouldn't you at least want a partner that does accept you?


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