No job means a gf is out of the question?

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*Glances at title*

Well, let's hope my interview tomorrow goes well then.

Personally, I'm just focusing on getting a job for the time being. I hope to find a girlfriend someday. It would be nice to go on more dates. My last date was funny, we hugged and I accidentally knocked her hat off and I had to sprint after her hat. Whoops. I did catch it before it could hit the ground though at least.

Welcome back

Thanks CR!

I dunno why I imagine you as Grover the muppet.

Actually, full disclosure, I was really on holiday in Europe.

Haha, cyberdad in Europe, mowing European lawns perhaps?

Last edited by blitzkrieg on 18 Sep 2024, 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

He has become Europe? Must make Eurovision quite conflicting.

Oh dear. I have now edited the 's' and replaced it with an 'n',

trains, one of my daughter's special interests.

What I can confirm is I became poor! no travelling for a few years...

From my experience, your parents are prolly right.My mom told me I cant date because I dont have a job so what you describe has been the case for me in my personal experience.I would just forget having a girlfriend until you have a job or at least thats how it is for me.

Should have taken opportunities to get girlfriends in college when having a job did not matter as much

I'd say yes and no. In your specific case, I suspect what your parents are doing here is trying to encourage you to think about getting a job because they feel that would be a positive thing for you generally. They want to see you increase your independence and worldly prospects. The prospect of a girlfriend is being dangled as a way to incentivise you.

The danger is that you equate having a job with money. If you do that, it's very easy to see women as calculating when it comes to looking for a partner. Having a job sends all sorts of messages beyond money. It says that you're reliable. It says that you have some idea of what you want out of life. If you like your job and take pride in it, it says something about your character. If you hate your job and complain about it a lot, but don't take steps to change it, that says something about your character too. A job is many things, not just an income. Although an income opens up many other avenues of exploration into the world.

People will bring their own prejudices to whatever you do as well. Say you work in finance. Some people will hear that and think that's great, they'll assume you make a decent amount of money, that you're at least fairly intelligent, that you work hard. Other people will hear that and think your priorities are way out of whack, it's just glorified gambling, that you value money over the really important things in life, that you'll never be off the clock, that your family will always be second to your job, that your moral compass might be questionable.

Similarly, if you say you're an artist, selling enough work to just get by. Some people will find that deeply attractive, they'll think you're creative and intelligent and grounded in reality. Others will think you're just a loser who couldn't cut it in the real world.

There are very few things, I believe, that are universally attractive.

I don't think having a job is the whole story. I think having an interest beyond pure socialising, beyond looking for a relationship, is important. Whether that's having a career, or volunteering, or having a hobby, or whatever - it just says something about a person. That they're engaged with the world around them in some positive way.

I think that's one of the things that is universally attractive.

What do you do when you're volunteering Jamesy? Do you like doing it? Is it somewhere you're likely to meet people?

I did date women in college.We just did not stay together for whatever reason.

I volunteer round my local pond/woodland