The 80/20 percent thing

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Far better than had I limited myself to the "top 20%".

It seems to me that the top 20% are the ones for which I am I'll equipped to fight my way through the dogpile towards.

It seemed a better bet to limit myself to the ones that smile at me.

I wonder how many temporarily annoyed women I have prevented myself from knowing.

It’s a strange topic to me when I see it come up in online spaces, not this thread. For one thing, rating people is such a cynical way to look at the world. I mean, we all have our unique tastes and preferences, but some would have us believe that some human beings are inherently more worthy than others.

Anyway, I think I’m actually choosier than the 80/20 thing but not for reasons related to conventional attractiveness, wealth, or whatever. Compatibility is just really important to me.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-se ... d-20-rule/

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularO ... omen_want/

I feel deeply sorry for people living in involuntary celibate, regardless if they're men, women or how they identify themselves. Too bad the term incel has been hijacked by an ideology characterized by the hatred of women and hate speech or, in some cases, violence against women. Mocking men for hating women (or for that matter mocking women that hate men) is ok by me, but by mocking them for being an incel you are mocking everybody that is unpopular with the opposite (or same) sex and can't find a partner. I find that very offensive.

I think the situation is only made worse by the media

The problem with Internet Dating is that is is much worse than 80/20 in terms of who gets attention and who gets ignored.
A few people get all the attention, so much so that they can't handle it!
Everyone else gets little to nothing.

I heard the 80/20 thing when it applies to dating can be exaggerated by the internet and online apps and not as strong in dating in real life. My personal history with attempting to find and ask somebody out tends to confirm that there is some truth. I imagine if you ask a sizeable number of guys for the relationship status of their friends on social media, you will find more women in a relationship for every male.

Love =/= sex either, you can thank this in part to the sexual revolution. But men and women see the relationship between them slightly differently. Women generally want romance but are more indifferent or even repulsed by sex (or at least they are more selective about it), and while men in general would want both a relationship and sex as part of a package, they likely want to settle for at least sex if they can't have both. And the genders prioritize different things.

The incel culture is mostly a younger men's (under-30) phenomenon, so to show them you should account for age of the members in the couple so they don't get sketpical.

You can choose whether or not to identify as one and join their online communities.

Should you trust something published in Cosmopolitan magazine?

It has a huge print readership in the demographic that men want to date.
As well as very profitable online presence.
This allows it to pay more than anyone else for quality content.

I think that most people are remarkable in some form or another. In the sense you can remark on them. I like to people watch sometimes and it's interesting to see the small things that make people individuals. From the pin badges on their bags to their scuffed up shoes.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and while it may not always be in mine, it is comforting in a way when you see a happy couple holding hands and sharing a small kiss contentedly. Their shared glance being one of understanding and shared experiences. At least as far as I can tell from an outside perspective.

I will admit that there is a superficial voice in my mind that pipes up sometimes in disbelief - how is that guy with her? She's so pretty. I always catch myself though and challenge that voice. Why do I think that guy is unattractive? Regardless, why do I care? It's not my business. She seems happy enough. That's what matters here.

I remember a case on the Internet where a woman, who was largely regarded as beautiful, started dating this guy and the commenters were all swarming their videos saying that she must be up to no good because she was clearly out of his league. To which she replied saying that he was the kindest man she'd ever known and that he was cute in a rugged way. She went on to explain what she found attractive about him - both emotionally and physically. It was clear to me that was in fact quite genuine. Yet people still insisted.

I think that some people get too caught up in the concepts of leagues. They're not something you can judge as completely objective - despite what certain corners of Reddit might have to say.

Dating apps do tend to be fairly superficial. Plus they create an expectation that you'll hit it off right off the bat when really these things tend to take time.

I agree with the above. If you want to apply the leagues metaphor, everyone notices when someone's looks are in the pro leagues, but they fail to consider that someone's personality might only be Junior C.

A lot of people would happily settle for AAA looks and a Junior Major personality, over say Junior Major looks and a Junior B personality.

Sadly I peaked as a Junior B in looks and beer league in terms of personality.

Yes, but I'd argue the identification with them largely occurs at a subconscious level, rather than someone waking up someday and deciding, ya know what, im'n incel now.

I don’t understand what any of that means.

Nor I, but we do things different upsidedown.