A REALLY hot girl knocked on my door...

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You don't seem to want
another human.

- you want chattel.

Someday though, you'll have just
what you wish. There will be automata
which will follow your every whim.

I guess you're just not educable to the reality that I don't like ordering people around. Oh well...
My point, restated yet again, is that I don't have what it takes to be in a healthy relationship.

Why do relationships have to be about ordering people around?

I kind of wonder where this lack of a desire to lead comes from. I seem to have it too, and it's sort of counter to what it means to be a man...

Though not all men have to... or even should lead...

Well, I have leadership in small quantities. But, I really think my main lack of it is from the way I was raised. I was raised almost entirely by my mom. And it takes a father, ideally, to train his son to fully grow into the man he's supposed to be. I didn't really get any male-leadership training, so I'm grappling with mentally putting together a picture of the type of marriage the Bible speaks of. I have to simply imagine it, and it's difficult.

Ah yes, I remember you posted in that other thread about fathers... our experiences are sort of similar in that regard.

I see the ideal, and it looks nice to me... in an fantasy type sense... but I'm not really set up to act like the stereotypical husband.

I'm not giving up that the kind of relationship I would work well in doesn't exist though... just with women that are more unique.

Long, long ago, in a land far, far away -- there were submissive women. Seriously, there were, cal! (I'm just remarking on your interesting use of the word "probably".) You act like "submissive women" is a concept which stretches the bounds of your imagination. (Frankly, I kind of find them hard to picture, myself -- but that's because I've rarely encountered any, being born and raised in modern America in 1979.)



It would be sad that she would be happy? That's interesting. Sad for whom? Liberals who would rather such a relationship not work well? If both people are happy serving God together as the couple He created them to be, what business is it of yours to harp and sow discord between them, and otherwise denounce their relationship?

And anyway, you missed that I have given up on all women. That doesn't mean I'm still watching -- that means I'm completely done with them, relationship-wise. I can be polite and truly respectful, and I can work professionally with them, but I will never trust them profoundly or intimately.

Toward that conclusion, I also wrote that I'm not a leader. I just don't have the desire to command or lead. And therefore, I inherently lack the impluse necessary for a man to be in a healthy relationship. Some people are meant to stay single -- and I'm one of them.

Now, make no mistake -- even those guys who are leaders have their work cut out for them as far as relationships go, for they will continue to find their women both aggressively challenging and seeking to usurp their rightful authority. Therefore, the only difference between a leading man and a non-leading man is that the leader can more likely keep his woman on track, and hence, their relationship running smoothly and productively. (I say "more likely", because the woman is still capable of upsetting a smooth-running relationship to the point where it becomes nearly impossible. *I speak from personal marital experience.)

Whereas, someone like me would have too much apathy to hold the reins fulltime. I can lead well, but it's short-term -- not something I could do for even a straight month. It's simply not my natural state. And that's okay -- it just means I should be single. So really, my burden is light: It means I don't have to produce children, raise them, feed them, break my back working for them, and then possibly have them reject me after all that I've done for them. I don't have to do any of that! I just have to serve God in the ministries He's set up for me.

Now you're getting it. I guess I've finally said it enough times, that you now understand I want to stay single.
"He can be taught!"

Ugh, no! The thought of me having complete control over another human being turns my stomach. (I have enough trouble taking care of a totally-dependent parrot.)

I don't want a woman under any terms whatsoever, even if those terms were my complete authority. Because, like I said, I'm not the type who naturally likes to command or lead.


I guess you're just not educable to the reality that I don't like ordering people around. Oh well...
My point, restated yet again, is that I don't have what it takes to be in a healthy relationship. I'm fairly certain this would remain true even if a woman's fondest wish was to submit to me -- I'd STILL feel unnatural in the role of leader.

well... good to see these ideas are being bred out of the grander picture.... EVOLUTION

i didnt miss any of your points...

gl finding your "little woman"

cal.... he wants them to follow every one of his sexual and domestic whims...

yet retain enough of an autonomous nature to be able to sing and dance and entertain him for when he doesnt know what he wants

and cut the "i wanna stay single" crap.....

point is... it's not about women appeasing men or men trying to placate women.... it should be a mutual thing.

What I consider the ideal is the Biblical model of marriage.

Like marrying one's own daughters?

cal.... he wants them to follow every one of his sexual and domestic whims... yet retain enough of an autonomous nature to be able to sing and dance and entertain him for when he doesnt know what he wants

point is... it's not about women appeasing men or men trying to placate women.... it should be a mutual thing. you'll only ever find LOVE when it's equal from both sides in all aspects.

Yes, I agree, just like the Apostle Paul wrote. Husbands and wives both have responsibilities to each other.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything..." (Ephesians 5:22-33).