Why do girls want cocky, arrogant guys?

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erm...

no, you're right - i won't answer...

/me knows the feeling...

You haven't offended anyone, but you did come pretty close.

That is my point! I am sorry for offending anyone. I am sorry I appear like such a twat. Just please forgive me.

I am sorry. Oh well. I personally dislike the fact that the cocky, arrogant as*holes seem to get the girls. It is wierd. The nice guys are respectful, friendly and actually view women as human beings. Yet what happens to them? Rejection.

You mean this shi* stays the same after highschool?! Da*nit! So there's still relationships like this, even after highschool? Argh!

I don't like most of the girls who like cocky and arrogant guys because they're equally dumb in most cases. I don't know why they like those kinds of guys, it doesn't make any sense to me.

It does not make sense to me either. Welcome to the club.

Hmmm, the darkside I sense here.

I thought the same way but then I wondered... Are women who go for those types of guys very self respecting and would I really want to be with such a person. The answer is: Not even for a fling. I have turned into a blunt pessimist because of my fear of being alone...NO MORE.
Recently, I realized that the nice women are out there. The thing is, they HIDE very well. My friend Matt who was as unlucky as me, met a really nice girl. She could sit and talk to anyone and seem to be on their level. There's no hint of condescense or annoying "uptalk" (sounds like you're putting a question mark on everything you say, like alot of cheerleader types do). She works hard, takes care of herself and they both seem to share chores and duties with eachother very well.

I'm going on a camping trip this weekend maybe and they are trying to hook me up with one of her friends!

So get your heads out of the sand gentlemen. They are out there, get your expectations away from the cheerleader types because they aren't really what you want anyway.

Must you always be so darn irritating?

Yeah, well - the sad thing is, I've yet to meet very many of these guys in "real life"...

"All your life, Charlie Brown, all your life!"

...and best of luck, A_Z - let us know how it turns out, if you don't mind!

Things like what you said just there are examples of stereotyping.
I know one girl who is very studious and knowledgeable who likes those kinds of guys. Sort of confuses me, because I see it as being a contradiction.

I thought I'd chime in briefly, here: I had what I thought was a great relationship until I was promptly dumped for someone who was a jerk with his head in the clouds. I moped for awhile. Then I stewed. And I won't lie - thinking about it now still irritates me - but that part of my life's said and done with, and there's no use crying over spilt milk!

The problem is not "Girls like cocky as*holes." That's totally untrue, and you know it just from the people you've met. Girls, and indeed, all of us, like confident people. Think about it. That's why we like decisive leaders, that's why we gravitate towards certain people in groups - they appear confident in themselves to a certain degree, they don't appear to lean on anybody. They won't be a hassle in the "needs" department, or carry any emotional "baggage" - face it, it's tough enough dealing with people as it is without having to deal earnestly with emotional issues, too!

So when you and I see someone who's arrogant and cocky, a lot of the time our first reactions'll be something along the lines of "geez, what an arrogant bastard," but underlying that arrogance is a certain basic self-confidence, the feeling that they can project their whims onto others. A lot of the time those people're shallow human beings or even more insecure underneath, but unlike those of us who lodge these complaints, they project themselves outward for approval rather than closing in. And when they get knocked down, they get knocked down even harder (much to our satisfaction).

So it's not a "girls like jerks" situation, and thinking like that'll only drive you further in. It's "as a rule, people like others who're capable of handling themselves." For us, that's a bit of an issue, because in one way or another there're lots of things that seem quite normal to the population that we have trouble handling, which makes us automatically seem "damaged." But if you stand up and are confident in your beliefs (and you can be without being cocky or arrogant), or have a firm, uncompromising position, then you become something better. I pick causes. (I don't want to say "fights" but that's what I pick.) I get into things and go for broke in my views, and by being genuine, rather than using arrogance to fake confidence, I've gotten so much further than by worrying.

I'm not lying. It's hard. It's something I'm still struggling with, something I don't do as often as I should. At times last year I made stupid mistakes and said things I didn't believe or feigned indifference to things I otherwise cared about because of the crowd around me - wrong way to be! But this year in school I'm telling myself, "don't get angry, don't get bitter, don't do anything you're fundamentally opposed to, but make sacrifices for those you care about," because the times when I did that I found myself the happiest, both emotionally and in terms of love. I have an extremely close friend who's now regrettably far away, and she and I share a very close bond, that sort of deep affection people seem to dream about posting here, and we developed that by being true to ourselves, for all our faults and failures. And who knows? Maybe one day we'll meet up again and settle down - or we could go our wild ways and meet every once in awhile down the road and talk for hours, as we do now - seeing others, but still the closest of honest friends. That kind of deep affection's what a lot of folks here are shooting for - and I have no doubt you'll get it.

It's out there, don't give up on it!

bloody well said, lionize. brilliant post.

Riteon, Lionize.

Keep in mind that alot of those aforementioned guys who seem to get all the girls know how to put on a good act. Also keep in mind, they aren't shooting for relations as much as they are trying to get off. Also be careful to stereotype them for they can change too. An old friend of mine had it made. He was on the local town hockey team, had a nice little car, and he could walk up to any woman and have her. The man was only 5-7 but holy crap he could move. He was so smooth that he pulled up to a cop one night after the bars closed (the truck had 7 people in it and I was one, it was obviously overloaded) and started hitting on her and making her laugh.
Now they have been together for 6 years.

Don't be so quick to compare yourself to others. That has the power to stop anyone dead in their tracks. Negativity and pessimism are difficult to avoid but if you get into better habits and start feeling good about yourself then things will happen. I know right now alot of you have the "poor me" syndrome more than anything else and it's the worst. I'm just getting over that myself and sometimes it just comes out subliminally. Anyway, I hope to make a go of it this weekend because I don't get many chances.

Some of you are acting like there is no in-between in what a woman wants. I do not like as*holes, but I also don't like guys who write me love poems and gives me flowers before we've even been on a date. There IS an in-between! i want a guy who is usually confident but that doesn't mean he has to be a douche.