guys: do people look down on you for not having lots of sex?

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AnonymousAnonymous
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21 Nov 2007, 7:34 pm

Most people here in Portland have important things to do than have lots of hot sex.

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Whisperer
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21 Nov 2007, 9:37 pm

pbcoll wrote:

Whisperer wrote:

The truth is. . . that, to "score", you just need to be more or less an average person. Handsome people have sex, older people with unfit bodies have sex, people in shanty towns have sex, ill-tempered obese people have sex. . . If sex were really a matter of winners - of being "cool" and "smart" - human population would be drastically reduced.

Yeah, but 'average' does not include having nil social skills and almost no dating experience. If you're like me, it doesn't matter if you're 24, you're never going to get anywhere with women. You might meet girls that like you but purely as a friend, maybe girls that might even seem to flirt with you but, very tellingly, won't introduce you to her friends (I had this happen the other day). A sixty-year old has better chances of getting a girl in her 20s than I do (my uncle being an example of this).
Funny thing, that EVERY piece of advice I ever read on relationships is extremely discouraging - it's either something I'm incapable or unwilling to do, or it's something I already know (and hence useless), or it's not applicable to my situation, or it seems downright delusional.

Of course, I didn't mean it did; I meant it's nothing special. I relate to the rest of the post; the same always happens to me (the fact that I have a girlfriend so far away I only get to see her on holidays is a rare occurrence that doesn't change much how I relate to everyone else ).
My experience shows me that idiots tend cling to the fact that "they have/had sex" or rub salt in our wounds whenever we accidentally unsettle them.

JohnHopkins
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22 Nov 2007, 2:57 pm

Everchanging wrote:

Stupid NT's! :roll:

Seriously though, yes I'm mostly apathetic towards sex, and that does surprise people. Thing is though I'm mostly heterosocial (90+%) and my female friends respect the fact that I'm not constantly intriguing to get inside their knickers.

Without being ridiculous, have you had sex?

Because I think maybe more of you guys who are virgins would get what the obsession with sex is if you'd...well, done it.

shadexiii
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22 Nov 2007, 3:05 pm

pbcoll wrote:

Funny thing, that EVERY piece of advice I ever read on relationships is extremely discouraging - it's either something I'm incapable or unwilling to do, or it's something I already know (and hence useless), or it's not applicable to my situation, or it seems downright delusional.

Advice: Don't take the following to be fact.

pbcoll wrote:

If you're like me, it doesn't matter if you're 24, you're never going to get anywhere with women.

emo000
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22 Nov 2007, 3:07 pm

I f****d this one bird a couple of weeks ago.
only just recovered.

LePetitPrince
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22 Nov 2007, 4:38 pm

^^ I wonder what the offspring would look like

Capriccio
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22 Nov 2007, 11:53 pm

Sex isn't really a crowning achievement, so what others think doesn't really matter, and doesn't really say much for the person who does it anyways.

Capriccio
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22 Nov 2007, 11:57 pm

JohnHopkins wrote:

Because I think maybe more of you guys who are virgins would get what the obsession with sex is if you'd...well, done it.

Oh we understand what the obsession is; we're made of the same biological matter you are, even if we never experienced it.

Back to the original statement for this thread, sex isn't really a crowning achievement, so what others think doesn't really matter, and doesn't really say much for the person who does it anyways, in the sense it doesn't give any real extra status.

Brian003
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23 Nov 2007, 12:05 am

Space wrote:

I've noticed that people really look down on guys if they haven't had a lot of sex partners, like it is the best and most important thing in life to have sex with as many girls as you can. What do you people think? Anyone experienced this?

Yes, a lot of guys think that all guys should have sex before the age age of 16 or else they are "losers."

Space
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23 Nov 2007, 12:09 am

Brian003 wrote:

Space wrote:

Yes, a lot of guys think that all guys should have sex before the age age of 16 or else they are "losers."

Some people lose their virginity when they are 50+. It happens, and there's nothing with it. Some people live their whole life in celibacy too, nothing wrong with that either.

The world has gone from sex outside of marriage being socially taboo, to people being forced to justify why they are not promiscuous (as it is "expected"...!?). Yes, we are in strange times people...

Pandora
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23 Nov 2007, 11:03 am

Brian003 wrote:

Space wrote:

Yes, a lot of guys think that all guys should have sex before the age age of 16 or else they are "losers."

16 is really a bit young...

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pbcoll
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23 Nov 2007, 11:24 am

Space wrote:

Brian003 wrote:

Space wrote:

Yes, a lot of guys think that all guys should have sex before the age age of 16 or else they are "losers."

Yes, I mean, I think people should be free to be promiscous or not be promiscous - I don't like this attitude of promiscuity-is-mandatory because I don't like being told how to live. This is something that particularly annoyed me in the US, that there seemed to be only the sex-is-sinful and promsicuity-is-mandatory crowds. Yes, I want sex - in a serious relationship, not necessarily marriage, and not for religious reasons. That's my decision to make, and if others want something different or the same thing for different reasons, it's none of my business. Why is that so hard for some people to understand?

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Redders
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23 Nov 2007, 1:51 pm

I've never had that problem, even though almost all of my mates have "done it". I'm lucky to have mature friends. I mean, yes, if it happens then that's fair enough, but to go and make people feel small just for the fact they haven't is sick and dispicable (think that was spelt right...). As with many people here though, I blame Media for glamourising it.

So the irony is I'm looking for a career in Media... but it's a chance to change people's opinions... ok, not easy when it's one voice against the world but the more people you have behind you, the easier it is. If only getting everyone to think straight was s easy as saying it...

jfberge
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23 Nov 2007, 2:59 pm

If they do, I'll just have sex with them. Problem solved.

JohnHopkins
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23 Nov 2007, 6:10 pm

I think a lot of people'd be less 'promiscuous' if they knew what it meant. I made the shocking discovery a month ago that most people don't know what it means. They thought that promiscuous sex was ANY kind of sex out of wedlock.

Brian003
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24 Nov 2007, 12:41 am

Space wrote:

Brian003 wrote:

Space wrote:

Yes, a lot of guys think that all guys should have sex before the age age of 16 or else they are "losers."

I totally agree with that and I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't a virgin.

It isn't because I am very religious(I was raised Christian, but I am atheist) but because I don't like the idea of finding a significant other who has already done that.

I have already got into a huge argument about this with someone I know and I simply answered: If all the girls are no longer virgins, then I am not getting married. Not really that hard of a choice to me.

Of course statistically this puts me at a disadvantage. I think that around 85%(If not higher?) of people have had sex at the age of 20?

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